Never Let You Go

“I don’t want you living here.” I hate that my voice is trembling, hate how weak I feel. I want to sound powerful and authoritative, but I sound like a pleading child.

“I understand that, but I have to go where the work is. Times are tough.” Times have never been tough for him. I’m glad he’s talking. He’s making me angrier.

“You can’t see Sophie.”

“She’s eighteen next month.”

“She doesn’t want anything to do with you.” But he’s right. She’s almost of age. I can’t stop this. I can’t do anything.

“She doesn’t know me anymore.”

“I want it to stay that way. She’s a good kid. Don’t mess her life up.”

“I’ve changed, Lindsey. I’m not the same person you married. I got counseling in prison, and I go to AA now—I haven’t touched a drop in eleven years.”

I wish I could thrust the keys into his eyes and keep stabbing until he can’t look at me anymore. “I don’t believe you’ve changed for one minute.”

“Let’s not do this on the street. Can I buy you a coffee?”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” I shouldn’t be shocked that he actually thinks I’d want to sit and have a coffee with him, but his ability to ignore reality is truly terrifying. It’s like in his mind we’re old friends. I turn away.

“Lindsey!” he calls out, but I keep walking. Then, his voice lowering an octave but loud enough for me to hear, he says, “I know what you did. I know you drugged me that night.”

The words slam into my back and nearly knock me off my feet. I falter, the sidewalk looming in front of my eyes. I think I might faint, blink away the panic. No, no, keep going.

I make my legs move, glance over my shoulder. He’s still watching. My car is parked on the street, which means he now knows I drive a blue Mazda. My hands are shaking as I try to fit the key into the lock. I stare down at them, force my fingers to get their shit together and get me in the car now. My anger helps, makes me feel stronger. I get in and drive away as fast as I can.



I’m ten minutes late, but Marcus still opens the door with a smile. “I was starting to wonder about you,” he says. “Thought maybe you decided to stop at Dairy Queen.”

I know it’s a joke—he’s teased me ever since the time I showed up with a Blizzard for each of us—but I can’t make myself laugh today. “I’m sorry. Hope I haven’t messed up your schedule.”

“Nah. I was running late myself.” Marcus is never late for anything. He’s just saying it to put me at ease. He widens the door and I follow him inside and collapse into one of his chairs.

“I saw Andrew in town. He was at the bank.” It’s so hard to say the words, to admit what just happened. My voice is breathless as though I’ve sprinted up a flight of stairs.

“He’s following you?” He sinks down into the chair across from me, his dark eyebrows pulled together in an angry frown.

“He says he’s moving here because of work, but that’s bullshit. He wanted me to know he’s changed.” I give a bitter laugh. “He hasn’t changed one bit.” I wish I could tell Marcus everything—about the pills, what Andrew said—but I have to keep the terrifying truth to myself.

“Jesus, Lindsey.” Marcus leans forward, grips my knee. “I’m really sorry.” It’s the first time he’s touched me, outside of when we’re training, and his hand feels solid, comforting.

“I called the cop. She says Andrew claims he was working the morning someone broke into my client’s house. I know he’s lying, but they don’t have enough reason to check into it more, or any crime they can charge him with. They’re not going to waste their time.”

“Can you get a restraining order?”

“I takes more than seeing him once—and he didn’t do anything threatening. Even with one, I can’t do anything to stop him from moving to this town. He’s a free man.”

“I really hate this system sometimes. It protects all the wrong people.” He looks out the window, his mouth tight, and I wonder if he’s remembering Katie.

He turns back to me. “If you ever need to get out of town for a while, I have a lake house on the island. You and Sophie could stay there.”

“You have a lake house?”

“It’s been in my family for years. It’s quiet, peaceful—a good place to get away from it all and reflect on life.” He must have stayed there with his wife and daughter, so I’m honored at his offer, but the last place I want to be is at some remote lake on the island, where Andrew knows every inch like the back of his hand. Doesn’t sound that peaceful to me.

“Thanks, but it won’t matter where we stay. The only thing that would ever make me feel safe again is if he’s back in jail.” I crack a smile. “That should just be a matter of time.”

He smiles back, but he still looks worried. “I’m serious.”

“I know. I just need things to stay normal right now. I’ll think about it, okay?”

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