I was lying to myself, though, if I thought I wasn't relieved. Kite had forced my hand, freeing me from having to make the choice.
If Marina could prove she was trustworthy... maybe there was a way out of spilling her blood. It was hard to picture, harder to hope for.
After all, only one person existed that I trusted.
Kite was deeper than kin, we walked the Earth as corrupted souls, men who had been destined to suffer from the start. Nothing had ever gone right for us. Even the moment we'd made our bond had been a curse.
Once you killed, the river welcomed you.
I was so tired of swimming.
Leaving the bathroom, I poured myself a glass of water. It was clean and crisp; perfect. It cut down my throat, clearing my head. Facing the window over the city, I hooked my thumb in my belt and just watched.
The busy streets were so far away. I felt like I was separate from everything. I always had been, in my own way.
The day I'd rented this apartment, I'd stood right here and smiled at the ground below. I'd thought, at the time, “This is the beginning. This is what we've been struggling for.” Every hit we'd taken, ever kill, had made us more and more money.
Our lives had become stable.
Secure.
But money is so strange. When you don't have it, it's all you want. It seems like the one cure for all your problems.
But money couldn't fix the hole she'd made in me.
Shifting, I sipped my drink, letting my attention fall to my couch.
The place I'd claimed Marina last night.
Her red dress had shed like snake-skin, her body coiling and strangling me until I was dizzy.
I didn't remember moving, but I had. Standing by the furniture, I reached out, running my fingertips over the cushion. Marina had begged for me here. She'd melted in my grip until she was nothing but some unquenchable creature.
Her words burned into my brain. She'd pleaded with me to let her come. I'd tortured her because she tortured me, even when I slept.
I want to hear your pretty voice so I can remember these words forever.
That had been what I'd claimed.
I'd meant it.
If she was going to be erased, and the most I could own was that moment, I'd take it and crush it to my heart. I'm possessed, I thought cynically. Reaching down, I adjusted my firming cock. I wanted to sink my teeth into her again.
Now that I'd gotten through her walls, seen what was beneath, my craving was worse.
Bending close to the smooth leather, I inhaled. It still smelled like her—that spicy, oddly autumn mix. I wasn't much of a praying man, but as I shook myself, tried to force the scent of her from my nose, I hoped with all my strength that Marina would do what we needed.
I wanted her to prove herself.
No... beyond that.
I needed her to.
It crossed my mind that she, herself, might not have faith in us. She'd told me flatly that she didn't trust me. Our plan would go forward regardless of how she felt. And, if it worked, we'd have an eternity to earn her trust.
This woman was a time bomb. Marina could explode and end us, or she'd be diffused.
Only she held the code to all of our futures.
Floorboards creaked; footsteps that announced the man behind me. “How is your nose?” Kite asked, betraying his guilt.
Facing him, I saw the stained clothing bundled in his arms. He'd been using my bedroom to change out of the gym clothes. “Considering how hard you hit me, it's fine.” I tapped my cheek. “Swollen, that's about it.”
He grimaced. “Fuck. I'm really sorry, man.”
Waving his apology away, I slid around him and into my kitchen. He followed close behind, shoulders scrunched up by his ears. “Just forget about it. Things got heated, we've moved on.” Pouring myself a drink of water, I sipped it, leaned back on the counter. “All that matters is that we cleared the air.”
His smile was hesitant. “Yeah. If you promise not to revenge-hit me at some random point when I least suspect it, then we're good.”
Chuckling, I offered him a glass; he motioned it away. “We're going to need to come up with a way to test her. You realize that, right?”
“Sure.” Shuffling side to side, Kite put the clothes on the counter. “Thing is, I don't... want to put her through anything just yet. This morning did a number on her, she was kind of sad when I left. Like she didn't want me to go.” Frowning, he glanced up at me. “We should wait a bit, that's all I'm saying.”
Picturing her face twisted with sadness had my stomach curling in on itself. Marina doing poorly was something I didn't want to dwell on. “We've been keeping her cooped up, haven't we?”
“We took her dancing last night.”
“Right. But that was... different.” Both of us smiled, recalling the events. I shook myself. “Anyway, how about this? Let's take her out and do something fun today.”
His eyebrows pressed together. “Like what?”