But I wasn't.
Screaming into the gag, I rolled in the trunk and struggled. I could do nothing but tire myself out. I'm an idiot, I thought angrily. I shouldn't have given them the gun. Why did I do that?
Revenge... it wasn't all I wanted. Not any longer.
Jacob and Kite had grown a will to live inside of me. They'd fanned my flames of life, and now, they were going to take it all away.
For some time I laid there. I didn't know how long.
I pictured them as they cleaned up the murder site. There was loads of evidence to get rid of, they were going to be careful.
Movement, the car rocked, the vibrations of the engine starting. That we were driving at all terrified me. Each second put me closer to my death. How could they do this to me? I'd given them the letter because I cared about them. I didn't want them to suffer.
I'd thought... deep down... that they cared for me, too.
Marina the reckless idiot. Good job, you dug your own grave.
Kite wasn't the king of fucking bad ideas. I was.
Nauseous, I almost didn't notice us slowing down. Time had no meaning, it could have been minutes or hours. I was feeling claustrophobic, the instant the trunk popped I sucked in air through my nose. Hands touched me, pulled me free.
Gently, I was curled against someone's chest. Soft fibers and that refreshing scent made me think it was Jacob again. In a panic, I whimpered behind the gag. His lips came to my ear, a caressing breeze. “Shh.”
Behind the blindfold, my eyes were damp.
The walk was short. My ears pricked at the sound of water. Was that the ocean? No, I'd smell salt. Where were we?
He put me on the ground, my knees connecting with something firm. The rushing noise rumbled under me now. I was positive it was a river, even before they pulled the blindfold off. Blinking, I adjusted to the darkness easily. I'd been living in it, after all.
Around me, I saw the solid wood of a bridge. The river was visible between the gaps. It was what was in front of me that drew my eye.
Jacob crouched, the knife in his hand shining bright. My heart started thumping madly.
“Promise you won't scream,” he said.
Something touched my shoulder. Twisting, I saw Kite beside me. His face looked... forlorn. Whatever was coming, he was deep in his own head. That didn't help my nerves.
“Marina,” Jacob said. I looked back at him. “No screaming. Okay?” When I nodded, Kite quickly undid the gag. It was a relief, my mouth was sore from the pressure.
I sucked in a big gulp of oxygen. Why would they take me here? My brain tingled with the visual of my body sinking in the river. I shuddered violently. “Please,” I croaked. “Don't do this.”
Jacob smiled sadly. Turning the knife, I could see now that it looked old, but well cared for. A pocketknife, I thought, by the shape of it. “I want you to know something,” he said quietly. “Kite and I... we debated intensely about what to do with you. We thought, if we didn't help you, maybe you'd end up dead on your own.” The blade went flat, he tapped it on his knee. “From the start, we knew you couldn't go on as you were. But what to do with the girl who messed with our minds?” Blue eyes swung up over me. “Kite wanted you dead, initially. Then he argued for your life. I argued for our future. It was complicated, you can guess, coming to an agreement.”
Kite walked away, standing beside Jacob. He wouldn't look at me, no matter how I mentally willed him to. “I told Jacob we could trust you,” Kite muttered. “You failed that test, Marina.”
All of my nerves turned to ice. “I—what? No! I don't know what you mean by a test, but you guys can trust me.” Hot tears made streaks down my cheeks. “I swear, I'd never do anything to hurt you two!”
Puffing air through his nose, Jacob reached out and cupped my jaw. I didn't like how close the knife was to me. “Regardless, after much deliberation, we realized tonight that there was only one way for this to end.” Fear seized me, took all of my arguments and threw them in the river. “Before this can go any further... Marina, you should know about us. What we've done.” His lips—lips that had once kissed me so tenderly—became a harsh frown. “It's only fair.”
Lowering the blade, Jacob stared at his feet. He was gathering himself. Was it so he could talk, or so he could slice my pulsing throat? I held my breath, waiting.
Finally, Jacob closed his eyes... and he began their story.
- Chapter 37 -
Jacob
16 years earlier
––––––––
Standing beside the wet edge of the pit, I watched them lowering the tiny casket. It was a cruel thing that they needed to craft that small.
What kind of world would allow a four year old to die?
Where was the lesson in that?