That last one, he repeated, and I finally knew who'd killed my brother. My whole body shook, wondering what the fuck I'd done to make God bring me face-to-face with his killer, without letting me fuckin' see the motherfucker.
“Don't look at me like that, you ungrateful sack of shit. We could've done it all right in front of your fuckin' kid. We've got rules here, asshole, same as you and all the sorry fucks wearing those popguns on your leathers. You sing, we'll make sure the kid doesn't have to suffer much longer. He'll go out clean, assuming your Prez doesn't show up to pay the fuck up. Then we'll let him walk.” He pushes his gun harder into my head, digging the barrel into my temple. “I'm honest, Joker. I'm easy as fuck to deal with. So, let's try to get this shit off right before I give the go ahead to knock your fuckin' teeth out. Just wanna know one thing – where the fuck's your Veep patch gone?”
Heart pounding like mad, I tilted my head, 'til that gun was right between my eyes. “Go ahead and shoot me, fuckwit. You already know I ain't telling you shit.”
11
Stupid, Stupid, Stupid (Summer)
When I woke up and crawled out of my hole, none of the men were speaking. Not with words, anyway.
But their movements said too much. Everyone buzzed around like drones who'd just had their hive caved in by a hungry bear.
This was serious. This was war. Men walked around with long, dangerous guns unlike anything I'd ever seen outside the movies. Their faces were all long, deadly serious, as if they were all quietly making peace before riding into death.
I watched Meg, the elegant brunette who'd been keeping me company on lockdown, suck face with Skin. He smiled into her kiss, held her close, the long, jagged scar on his cheek catching the light.
Firefly kissed his pregnant wife. Cora, the blonde I hadn't spoken to very much. She sobbed when the big, angry powder keg she called her man swept her up in his arms, laid his lips on hers, and didn't stop until one of the Grizzlies bikers tapped him on the shoulder.
Numbly, I watched in wonder, walking toward the garages with a blanket draped over my shoulders. The huge group of men got on their bikes and fired their engines all at once, with one notable piece of the club missing.
Joker. He'd gone off somewhere on his own, riding solo into death, just like he'd promised me. He'd kissed me goodbye, told me he loved me, loved Alex, and I'd treated him like the biggest bitch in the world.
God. God fucking damn it.
“Back inside, mama.” One of the newer prospects named Tray stopped me from going any further, his shiny bald head gleaming. “Only three of us here to watch the old ladies, and we're gonna do our jobs to the dotted fucking line.”
I'm not really an old lady. Stopping just short of saying it, I turned with a sigh, and went inside.
The clubhouse was insanely quiet with the men gone. Meg, Cora, and several strippers from their club sat at the bar. The dancers all pouted, probably disgusted that they'd been thrown into the club's protection for the evening, when they could've been out on the floor, earning.
“Hey, girl,” Meg said softly.
I took a seat next to her without saying anything, reaching across the counter for a fresh beer. The men had barely touched a lot of the bottles and cans left behind.
Meg watched me pop the brew open and take a long drink. It was nice to have something harder with tea, something to warm me. Not that it had a prayer of melting the glacier welling up inside me since my little boy disappeared in that park.
“Drink up while you can!” Cora said cheerfully, smiling, lifting a glass of some amber liquid. “I'm stuck with apple juice until after this baby comes out.”
Meg shot her a tense look. “She's going through some crap. I'd say she needs it. None of the brothers have heard from Joker since he stormed out a few hours ago...”
My fingers tensed against the can, hard enough to leave several metallic dimples. Like I needed any reminder.
Over in the corner, a couple strippers squeaked, laughing at some stupid joke between them. God, it was dead and different here without the men around. Especially without mine.
“I've already been through it,” I said to Cora quietly. “One kid, I mean. Haven't been doing a lot of drinking since my uncle's bar shut down years ago, before I got pregnant. He'd been teaching me to make drinks before it all went to shit.”
Meg sat up, cocking her head, taking a swig off her mixed drink. “Ah, you know the Heel could use a relief bartender sometime in the next month or two? We definitely need one before the holidays roll in, and the tips are great. Men don't think twice about throwing extra at their drinks when they're already dropping bundles on the girls.”
I drained the can halfway before I answered, letting the fizzy alcohol wind through my stomach. “Not planning on staying here a day longer than I really have to. I mean, the way things are going, doubt I'll have much reason to.”