Jealousy.
He was in a group, but standing next to a woman. She didn't know who it was, just that she was tall and blonde. Not crimes in themselves, but the fact that his arm was draped casually around the woman's waist made Katya want to commit murder in the first. When he leaned in close to speak directly to the girl, jealousy turned to nausea. She was going to be sick all over her mother's lawn.
“Excuse me, I don't feel so well.”
She made her way inside and went straight into the pantry, where she knew no one would be, and shut herself in. She leaned over a utility sink and turned on the cold water.
She was being ridiculous. Wulf wasn't technically her boyfriend, she'd been over and over this in her mind. She was the one actively seeing another person, so it was wrong and unfair for her to get upset at seeing Wulf with another woman.
Doesn't change the fact that I'm really upset.
Making her feel doubly stupid was the fact that she didn't even know what was going on. For all she knew, that girl was a cousin of Wulf's. An old school friend. An old girlfriend. A current girlfriend. His mom's girlfriend. Who knew? Certainly not Katya, because she hadn't asked. No, she'd taken the very adult approach of freaking out and locking herself in a pantry.
Right there, surrounded by canned goods and cleaning supplies and jars of pickles – when had her mother gotten into pickling!? – she had an epiphany. It wasn't about expanding boundaries anymore. She'd been trying to keep her feelings for Wulf at bay for a while, but really, she'd only been ignoring what had been happening all along. Ignoring the insane death fall she was taking into caring for a very, very cold man. Right then, she was suddenly very aware of the steps she'd taken, and it was too late. She'd gone over the edge. She was falling, falling, falling, gone.
I have to tell him. I have to tell Liam. I have to end everything. God, I can't talk to him, not like this. I'll burst out crying and he'll laugh at me and then I'll puke on him. Would serve him right. He's such a dick. Jesus, I'm falling in love with a total dick. I cannot tell him that.
Though she still kind of wanted to throw up, and very much wanted to cry, Katya pulled it together enough to go back out to the party. She would make one more round through the yard, saying thanks to everyone for coming, then she would lock herself in her room and try to figure some shit out.
When she stepped out onto the back deck, her eyes immediately zeroed in on Wulf and the blonde. They were laughing together, standing even closer than before, his arm still wrapped around her. Jealousy and self-pity took up root in Katya's chest, making her heart hurt. She took a deep breath and strolled onto the grass.
She said thanks to their pastor. Kissed Mr. and Mrs. Patel's baby on the forehead and commented on how much he'd grown. Oohed and aahed over old Mrs. Hoover's new needlepoint. Made light conversation as she moved through the crowd, weaving in and out of different groups. She'd almost made it back to the deck when a shadow fell over her from behind.
“If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me, Tocci.”
Wulf's voice was low in her ear, and though they weren't touching, he was standing far too close to be considered appropriate. Katya took a deep breath and held herself as still as possible.
“Not avoiding you. Just mingling.”
“Bullshit.”
“You were busy.”
“I know, so were you. How's Kenny Bartlett doing, anyway?”
Aha! While I was eyeballing him, he was eyeballing me. Works both ways, wolfman!
“Great. He's in real estate, you'd probably have a lot in common.”
“I bet we would – we certainly have similar taste in women.”
“I don't know, seems like you prefer blondes.”
He chuckled in her ear, but it sounded more like a growl. Then his arm was slipping around her, his hand pressing flat on her stomach and pulling her back into him.
“Jealousy looks good on you, Tocci. I like it.”
“Not jealous,” she sighed. “Just tired. And have a headache. I think I'm going to go lay down.”
She went to step away, but he refused to let her go.
“Hmmm, I'm calling bullshit again. I have to share you with another man, yet I can't even talk with an old friend from school?”
“Never said that, not even a little bit. You're allowed to talk to, see, do whatever you want, with anyone you want.”
“That's really impressive, you know.”
“What?”
“Getting those words out around all the bullshit in your mouth.”
Katya stepped forward with enough force that he had to let her go, unless he wanted to actually struggle with her. She glanced back over her shoulder once, when she went to step through the sliding glass door. Wulf had already moved on and was laughing with a group of guys. She shook her head and continued inside, making a beeline for the stairs.
Stupid, stupid, Katya. At least you didn't start crying in front of him. Then you'd really belong to him.
*
She hadn't been lying, she really had a headache. Probably brought on by a sudden case of massive heartache, with a little guilt and self-pity sprinkled on top. She paced around her room for a while, resisting the urge to spy on the party. Her mother checked on her once, bringing her some water. Then at eight, Katya gave in to the pounding between her ears and she swallowed a couple Tylenol PMs before burrowing under her covers. She was out within twenty minutes and had strange dreams about being in the woods. Going over rivers. Heading to her grandmother's house.
Sometime later she was startled out of her sleep. She sat up, struggling with her blanket as she tried to figure out what had woken her up. Her alarm clock said it was just after eleven-thirty. The only lighting in the room came from the glow off Wulf's pool, making everything look eerie and ethereal.
Then Katya heard it again – a thumping noise, outside on the roof below her. Was this a home invasion!? She clutched the blanket to her chest and reached for her lamp, but only succeeded in knocking it off the end table. She cursed at herself, then gasped as her window started to slide open.
“I thought this would be appropriate.”
Holy. Shit. Was this really happening? Was Wulfric fucking Stone really crawling through her bedroom window? It was literally her biggest high school fantasy, but come to life. She tried to keep from panting as she scrambled out of bed.
“What are you doing?” she whispered, picking up the lamp before hurrying over to him. He finally stood upright, dusting himself off.
“You said you used to dream about me, when you were in high school.”
“I never said that.”
“Please, it was written all over your face.”
“What are you doing?” she said it again.