“Holy shit, you lost your job, didn't you?”
She and her roommate stared at each other. Katya had gone home for lunch, something she rarely did. Tori had left the house at the same time as her, around eight in the morning, yet there the other woman was, sitting at the kitchen table, wearing shorts and a hoodie. It was like tumblers fell into a lock in her brain, opening Katya's eyes. Tori had been home a lot, always showing up at lunch time, staying home when Katya stayed home. Always around.
“I'm … I'm sorry,” Tori whispered, then burst out crying.
I'm an awful friend.
Katya dropped the bags she'd been carrying and she hurried to her friend. Tori had been there long before boys had ever been a thing to Katya – they'd met their sophomore year in high school, had been inseparable ever since, much to Katya's mother's chagrin. Tori was a “bad influence”. Oh, if Mrs. Tocci only knew how much.
They sniffled and cried, then Katya bundled Tori up in a blanket. While her friend tried to get control of herself, Katya made soup and got down the special reserves. Vodka.
“Why didn't you say anything?” Katya asked. She'd called in at work, letting them know she wouldn't be back, then she'd changed into her yoga pants and a hoodie of her own. She sat next to Tori, her legs propped up on a chair across the way. Tori's feet were in her lap and Katya was absentmindedly massaging them.
“I didn't want you to be mad,” Tori sighed, slurping at her soup. “It happened a couple days before we made that dating profile for you. I was freaking out, I didn't want you to think I couldn't pay rent.”
“How could you think I'd be mad? I mean, yeah, if you can't pay rent, we'll need to figure something out, but that's it. I'm not gonna kick you out,” Katya told her.
“I know, I know. I'm awful. I just felt so … stupid. Here you are, with this amazing career that just sky rocketed. And I'm some paper jockey in a stupid marketing agency. Then you met those guys, and you were so happy. Like for the first time ever, for reals happy with yourself, and I didn't want to ruin it, or distract you. I figured for once, we could overlook my issues and concentrate on yours.”
It was a sweet sentiment. Tori had always been a wild child, they'd spent many a night cursing her ex-boyfriends, of which there were many. Katya'd had to bail her out of jail once, when she'd keyed one of the unfortunate dudes' car. She'd bounced from job to job, but she'd been at the ad agency for over six months. Katya had thought something had finally stuck.
“Hey, you know what would make me feel better?” Tori sniffled.
“What?”
“One of your coffee cakes.”
“Can't,” Katya sighed. “Oven is still broken.”
“Still!? Did you send an e-mail?”
“Several.”
“And Liam?”
“He said he'd talk to the management company, but he's busy with his club, I don't want to bug him.”
“This is stupid. No job, no boyfriend, and now no cake. My life sucks,” Tori grumbled, burying her face in her arms. Katya heaved a sigh.
“How about we make a pact now, that no matter what is going on in whose life, we always take time to help each other?” she suggested.
“Sounds good.”
“And my career isn't that amazing. I'm lucky, and I work really, really hard. Sometimes … sometimes I honestly wonder if it's worth the stress I put myself under. Sometimes, Tori, I wish I was more like you,” Katya was completely honest. Her roommate looked shocked.
“Seriously!?”
“Yeah. You never care what people think, you do whatever you want. I've never gotten to be that free.”
“Maybe I need to be less free ...”
“Maybe I need to be less closed off ...”
They were both silent for a while, deep in their own thoughts. Then Tori took a deep breath and pulled the vodka bottle closer.
“Alright then. Let's get royally fucked up – it's the only thing that can save today.”
A couple hours and most of the bottle later, Tori made good on her word. Both of them were proper drunk. They'd moved to sit on the floor in the living room, sharing a bag of popcorn. Tori had just gotten done telling a story about the time she'd tried to date a guy who was heavily into the world of BDSM. She hadn't been able to get into it, the whole sexual lifestyle thing, though she'd appreciated his very thorough approach to sex.
“Liam put me on one of those cross thingies,” Katya said, then hiccuped.
“No fucking way! You had sex on a St. Andrew's Cross!?” Tori gasped.
“No. I'm like you, I'm not really into all that, I think. But at his club,” hiccup, “there was some sort of convention. He showed me some stuff, some things. Strapped me in,” hiccup, “and I almost thought it was going to happen, but then we had Chinese food instead.” Hiccup.
“That man is a waste on you, I swear. When you're done playing with him, send him my way,” Tori groaned. Katya frowned and poured herself another shot.
“Wouldn't that be kind of weird? Hey, my roommate's dating this dude I used to fuck,” she pointed out. Fuck. A word that used to make her feel guilty. Now it spilled out of her mind and out of her mouth with ease.
Times, they are a changin'.
“Who said I wanted to date him?”
“I just assumed ...”
“You're not dating him, yet you two fuck.”
Katya waited for the blush to take over her face, but it never came. She smiled. She was finally becoming desensitized.
“Very true. Still. Kinda weird.”
“Whatever. Describe his dick to me, so I have something to look forward to.”
Okay, not that desensitized. She coughed on her shot of vodka, dribbling it everywhere.
“I'm not describing his dick to you, sorry. If he wants to show it to you, trust me, he will,” Katya assured her.
“You're so lame. Then what about the other dude? You've told me everything about sex club man, but you never talk about the lone wolf man,” Tori said. Katya frowned deeper and poured yet another shot, cleaning out the last of the vodka.
“It's … different,” was all she managed to say.
“How so?”
It's special.
She felt awful thinking it – her time with Liam was special, too. Liam was very special. But her moments with Wulf were something else. If Liam was discovering a new side to Katya, then she was getting to discover the new pieces of Wulf. The ones he normally kept hidden away from the world. It was beyond special to her. She didn't want to share it with anyone. She wanted those moments, those memories, to only belong to the two of them.
I want to be special to him, too.
“It just is, I don't really want to talk about it,” she finally answered.
“Oh my god, Katya, you loooooove him,” Tori sang at her.
“I do not. I've only been seeing him for a few weeks.”
“So? Your vagina is certainly in love with him.”
“My vagina and my heart are two very different things. One is a lot smarter than the other.”