The thought made her feel closer to him. Almost uncomfortably so. He clearly enjoyed her company, and was obviously attracted to her – it hadn't been said, but she knew sex was an option any time she felt like throwing her nail stuff out of the way. But he'd never once said anything in regards to how he felt about her as a person. Far as she could tell, he was having fun. She got the impression it was almost like a game to him, the ever popular “How Uncomfortable Can I Make Katya” game. It wasn't right, she didn't want to feel close to him if his feelings were that she was only good for a laugh. Good for a lay.
Once again, she fell asleep early. Ridiculous. It was only nine o'clock, and the sexiest man alive was in her bed. But she was Katya Tocci, she specialized in ridiculous. She was vaguely aware of being moved around on her bed, of a sheet being pulled over her body. When he got off the mattress, she woke up all the way, but didn't open her eyes. He hadn't moved away. She could tell he was standing beside her, not moving. Watching her. She held her breath, wondering what he was going to do. What he was thinking.
In the end, he simply grabbed his jacket and left her room, shutting the door sharply behind him.
What's wrong with me? Liam is so sweet to me. Sweet, and caring, and nice. He tried to carry me to bed. He makes me feel good about myself. Yet I'd rather wish for making memories with a man who never smiles and rarely talks, and quite possibly thinks of me as little more than a vacation.
She went to sleep thinking about dreams – lost ones and new ones.
11
By the time the weekend rolled around, Katya was more confused than ever. She'd gone back to Liam's club one night – there was a BDSM convention in town, and a group had rented one of the big rooms. He walked her through the set up, even strapped her onto what he called a St. Andrew's Cross. There had been a moment, when he'd reached to loosen her wrist bindings. He'd stared at her for a long time, his fingers hot on her skin. She'd stared right back, wondering what new trick she was going to learn that night. But then he'd let her down, only spanking her playfully on the ass. They spent the rest of the night in his office, laughing at cat videos and eating Chinese food with their fingers.
Later on, she'd had a lunch date with Wulf – her bakery wasn't too far from his office building, and he'd informed her that she'd be meeting him at a food cart between them. It had been windy out and he'd lost his burrito. She'd laughed as it rolled away, but then yelled at him when he simply ate hers. Before she could complain too much, though, he was kissing her. A real kiss, so hot, she'd forgotten they were sitting outside. He'd worked one hand into her hair and yanked, holding her head at an angle. He liked to pin her into place, she realized. Position her how he wanted, then would do whatever he wanted. She loved it. It was him who stopped them, finally dragging his lips from hers when she tried to undo his tie. He'd laughed at her, kissed her once more, then pulled the tie over his head before slipping it around hers. His next kiss was slower, sweeter, and before she could even open her eyes, he was walking away without a second glance.
The rest of the day, she felt like she was glowing. Her co-workers noticed it. Tori noticed it. Hell, she was pretty sure strangers on the street could notice it. And even better, she didn't care. She wasn't embarrassed. If anything, she was wondering why she'd been such a prude for so long. Is this what dating two men at once felt like!? God, why hadn't she been doing it all along? Why wasn't everyone doing it?
And what's going to happen when it ends and you have to make a choice?
A sobering thought, had just before she turned in for the night. Liam had texted her, offering to meet her on the roof. Wulf had messaged her, something vaguely inviting and definitely sexual. She ignored them both and stared at her ceiling, consumed with her new thought.
How is this going to end?
*
“What's going on with you, angel cake?”
Katya frowned and concentrated harder, sticking the tip of her tongue between her teeth and biting down. She didn't know why that helped, but it did.
“Nothing, I'm getting the hang of it.”
“I'm not talking about the game.”
They were playing Need for Speed. She liked it well enough, but she preferred playing Call of Duty with him. She was in the mood to shoot things.
“What do you mean?” she asked, focusing on taking a turn and not wiping out.
“You're all quiet. Introverted.”
“Uh, that's kind of how I am,” she laughed, then let out a shout as she almost lost control of her car.
“No. Not with me, you're not,” he pointed out. She finally glanced at him, and it cost her. Her car slammed into a wall, rolled back, then surged forward again when she fumbled with the control.
Game over. Would you like to play again?
“Just been thinking about a lot of stuff lately,” she said. It was his turn to laugh.
“Oh sweet jesus, that can't be good. Your brain has a way of ruining every good thing that happens to you,” he teased.
“That's not true.”
“It's truer than you like to admit. So what have you been thinking about?”
“Ummm ...”
Katya chewed on her lip. She'd never felt comfortable with this part of her little situation. Wulf never ever asked about the other man in her life, and Katya never talked about him, but Liam was a curious little bunny. He wanted to know all sorts of things – what she and her “New Guy” talked about, what kind of sex they had, why had they only had it once!? Was New Guy frigid? Bad in bed? Tiny penis?
“Are you thinking about New Guy's tiny penis?”
She picked up a pillow and threw it at him.
“He does not have a tiny penis!” she shouted.
“Whoa, defensive! That small, huh? We talking micro? It's okay, you can tell me,” he said. She picked up his dirty laundry from off his floor and began launching things at him.
“If you must know,” she was laughing as well, ducking when he started throwing clothing back. “It's amazing. The perfect size, thick in all the right ways, and makes me see god. Happy!?”
“Wow, that is amazing. God, huh? What did you see when I fucked you?”
“I didn't see anything – I blacked out. What does that say about you?”
He tackled her then, diving with all his weight. She grunted as she was crushed into his white leather couch – the same one she'd woken up on after their first night together.
“Alright, that's it! The infidel must be punished,” he growled as he began tickling her.
“ACK! Stop! STOP! I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” she gasped for air, kicking and pushing at him.
He kept it up for another minute, but then they were both laughing too hard to keep fighting. He pressed his face into her chest and she could feel his laugh against her skin. She panted underneath him.
“You have to admit that I made you see something,” he finally mumbled. She chuckled.
“What is this, jealousy? C'mon, you're the one always telling me, 'it's not a competition', remember?” she pointed out.
“Yeah, I know. I'm just curious, I guess. You're so … different. From any other woman I've been with – it's like you unfold for me. I just wonder if he brings that out of you, too,” he finally explained.
“Wow, Liam. That's actually kinda sweet.”
“Shhhh, don't say it too loud, people might hear you.”