It didn’t help her any that Ryan and his dad had been sitting three rows in front of them, and Ryan’s hair was still just a little bit damp from his morning shower. She’d really wanted to touch it and run her fingers through it. She knew how soft it was because she’d had a fistful of it at the top of the lighthouse, and her palms longed to feel it again. So she’d clasped her hands together in church instead, hoping to appear pious and prayerful instead of horny and desperate, and when Ryan and his father left right after the service, she wasn’t sure if she was annoyed or glad.
He’d texted her later that day, saying he and Tag were flying over to Seneca Falls in Northern Michigan to spend a couple of days fly-fishing, which left her feeling equal parts relieved and flustered. Relieved that she wouldn’t have to decide if she could, should, would kiss him again, and flustered by the fact that she wanted to so very badly.
Now it was Monday evening, and Emily was hoping some mountain pose would bring her peace of mind. Maybe she’d let Matt adjust her pelvis after all. So what if he was her employee? So what if it was really Lilly she was hoping he’d be interested in? That had been her goal for this evening, after all. One last, last-ditch effort to redirect her sister’s affection toward someone her own age, but after tonight she was pretty much giving up on that. Since everyone in town knew, and no one seemed in a rush to tell Harlan, Emily didn’t think that any of her superficial efforts were going to make an impression on her sister.
They turned the corner on Marquette. “Okay, okay,” Emily said to Lilly. “I’m not trying to force you, but like you said, a deal is a deal. I went horseback riding and spent time with Tag, just like you asked.”
Lilly scoffed. “Sure you did, and you told Percy to give us the worst horses ever. I figured that out before we even left the barn.”
“I didn’t tell him that, exactly, and anyway, I was just trying to create some negative associations and redirect the dopamine in your brain,” Emily said, sounding terse and slightly ridiculous.
“The what now?”
“Nothing. Just some stupid TED Talk. Never mind. Anyway, I’m not trying to talk you out of this anymore. I’ve told you what I think, and now it’s up to you to make those decisions. Just keep in mind that Dad will have a very hard time with this, and it’s important for you to think about five to ten years from now.”
“What happens in five to ten years?”
“In ten years, Tag will be almost seventy, and you’ll be thirty-six.”
“I can do math, Emily. I know how old we’ll be, but what else will happen?”
“Well, I don’t know exactly. That’s the whole point. You need to think about what you want your life to look like in the future, and decide if Tag fits what you’ll want then.”
A frown creased Lilly’s smooth forehead. “Does your life look the way you thought it would look ten years ago?”
Emily sighed. “Not even a little bit. That’s why I’m trying to warn you now. I didn’t set a good example, but at least I can be your cautionary tale. Tag’s talking about retiring and moving. Those are huge steps, and you’ve only known each other for such a short time.”
“It’s not the amount of time you spend with someone that matters, though. It’s how that time makes you feel.”
Emily didn’t even try to hide her disdain over that Hallmark card comment. “That’s cute, Lilly, but it’s just not true. I’m worried you’ll have regrets later.”
“But who’s to say I wouldn’t have regrets if Tag leaves my life, I never see him again, and I never, ever meet anyone else who makes me feel the way he does?”
Well, shit. That was a very valid question, and one for which Emily had no answer. The truth was, Ryan had made her feel pretty damn good on top of that lighthouse. He pretty much made her feel good every time he was around. What if she never met anyone else who made her feel that way ever again? Maybe she was sacrificing a chance at something good just because there was a chance it might go bad. Now she was even more confused.
“You do realize that pretty much everyone knows, right?” Emily said a moment later. Lilly stopped short, right in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Everyone knows? About me and Tag? Has anyone told Dad?”
“Is Dad still speaking to you?”
“Yes.”
“Then no one has told him.”
They started walking again. “Everyone?” asked Lilly.
“According to Brooke, who heard it from Gigi, who heard it from Maggie Schofield, and so on, and so on. I have to imagine that Dmitri Krushnic is patient zero, but he wasn’t the only witness in that pie tent.”
“What are people saying about us?”
“That I don’t know. I don’t imagine I’d be the one they’d come to.”
They walked in silence for another few minutes, before Lilly said, “Well, it’s nobody’s business but mine and Tag’s, and if people know, then maybe we can stop being sneaky. I didn’t tell Dad on Father’s Day because you told me not to, but maybe it’s time to go public.”
“Mmmmm . . . I don’t know about that. Denial is a beautiful thing, and as long as you and Tag are keeping things on the down-low, it maintains a balance in the Force, you know? I still think you should give this whole situation a little more time before throwing it in Dad’s face.”
“Throwing it in Dad’s face? That’s not a very nice way to put it.”
“I know, but that’s how he’ll take it. He’s going to be embarrassed, Lilly. This will be awkward for him. Don’t you remember how he was when he caught me skinny-dipping with Nick?”
“But my situation with Tag is different.”
Sure it was. It was worse. There was just no way Harlan was not going to be upset, but Lilly suddenly seemed so sad that Emily slung an arm around her shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to drag you down. I know what it feels like to disappoint Dad, but who knows? Maybe he’ll be fine with it?” Sure he would. “And anyway, word at drunk puzzle night is that Matt has magic hands. You’ll feel better after yoga.”
Saint Augustine Episcopal Church’s hall was full of women and a smattering of men when they arrived minutes later. Emily dragged Lilly right up to the front and wiggled them in between Gloria Persimmons and Jenny Mahoney. Jenny gave them a dirty look, and Emily wasn’t sure if it was because they’d nudged her to the side or simply because they were Callaghans. Either way, Emily and Lilly were now front and center.
“Hey, boss lady!” Matt waved, earning her a few more hard stares. She waved back as he came over to them.
“Hey, Matt. Have you met my sister Lilly? Lilly, this is Matt.”
He turned up his dazzling smile, placed his palms together, and bent slightly.
“Namaste, Lilly.”
Lilly looked back at him. “Uh-huh,” she said, and Emily noted that her sister was not as immune as she’d expected to be. Yoga Matt was just that hot.
“I’m so glad you’re both here. May this bring you peace and fulfillment.”
“Okay,” Lilly answered, and Emily smiled. Matt was so pretty he did take a little getting used to.
“Okay, dear friends,” he called out, turning around and heading to the front of the room, “we are gathered here to celebrate. Celebrate our bodies and all the wonderful things they can do. Who would like to join me?”
A chorus of “Me. Me,” echoed through the church hall.
Lilly leaned toward Emily’s ear. “I volunteer as tribute.”