“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” I mumbled, finding it hard to speak clearly.
“No, you’re okay.” He sat back down on his bed and tousled his damp hair.
I waited in the doorway for him to say more, but that was a struggle. It felt like there was something inside pulling me towards him. Like a rope was attached to my heart and someone physically yanked on it. He looked at me with an expression I couldn’t read, but his eyes definitely looked pained.
“You can come in, if you want,” he said finally
It didn’t feel so much like I walked to his bed as I just gave in and let myself be pulled over to him. Then I was on the bed, sitting dangerously close to him.
I breathed in, and he smelled sweetly of apples. That was probably his soap, but there was something tangy and wonderful underneath that was all him.
Like a complete idiot, I told him, “You smell good.”
He smiled the first genuine smile I’d seen him have, and it struck me with its utter perfection. Then softly, he laughed, sending astounding tingles radiating throughout my whole body. I almost shivered with pleasure.
“What do I smell like?” Peter leaned in closer to me, as if he was sharing a secret.
He was so close that when he exhaled, a damp tendril of his hair blew back and brushed against my cheek. My skin trembled expectantly, demanding more touch from him.
“Apples?” I wondered how I managed to find the strength to speak.
I knew the conversation was utterly pointless and dull, but most of my brain had become occupied by him. And I don’t mean by thoughts of him, I mean him. It was as if he’d seeped in and somehow become a part of me, but it wasn’t enough. I was desperate for all of him.
“Yeah.” He smiled crookedly, and then leaned back a little, away from me.
Without any thought on my part, my body moved to correct the distance between us. I would’ve preferred that I stayed where I was, but my body insisted that I tilt closer to him.
“Why do you hate me?” The words came out of my mouth, but I couldn’t believe that I’d asked them.
Inside my mind, I screamed Shut up! Shut up! You can’t say that to him! But he’d managed to cut off the blood flow to the part of my brain that controlled my inhibitions. If I weren’t careful, I’d very quickly be confessing my innermost secrets to him.
“I don’t hate you.” He looked embarrassed and lowered his eyes.
I had an awful pain at not being able to see into his eyes, but it came with some relief, as I’d be able to think a bit more clearly.
“Then why do you act like you do?” I pressed.
What the hell was I doing? I was normally an absolute coward, and now at the worst possible moment, I suddenly decided to be brave and corner this amazingly stunning man into hating me. He had said he didn’t, but after I shamed and irritated him like this, I’m sure he would.
“I don’t know.” He looked up, staring straight ahead, but he wasn’t really looking at anything. His beautiful features stiffened to a painful mask.
“You want to hate me, though.” My voice was almost inaudible, but he’d heard me. I’d thought I hadn’t had the strength to speak, but the words kept relentlessly tumbling out.
“That’s not exactly true.” His face softened again, and he turned to look at me.
His eyes were smoldering through me, and I felt my heart pound loudly in my chest. Very gently, he placed his hand on top of mine, and I felt that same electrical surge that I had the day before, but more intense this time. Pleasure rippled through me and I closed my eyes.
Then suddenly, he pulled his hand back, and my eyes flew open. His face was a few inches from mine, and something in him looked completely ravenous. He never wavered or moved, but when he spoke, his voice had gone into a very low snarl.
“Go before I do something very bad to you.”
- 11 -
“You can do whatever you want to me,” I whispered, and he flinched at that.
“Go!” Peter growled.
His voice stung, but it managed to get me moving. Using all my strength, I looked away and stood up. He still hadn’t moved, but I could see the tendons in his neck and his arms standing out sharply.
It wasn’t until I had started down the stairs, and I had begun to breathe, that I understood why he’d gotten so tense. He was using all his might not to move.
When I got downstairs, I felt dazed and I was panting. There was a very real chance that I had just barely averted danger. And the worst part was part of me still wanted to rush back upstairs and let him do whatever he wanted with me as long as I could still be with him.
“Alice?” Milo asked. He and Jack were standing in the middle of the living room, holding plastic guitars, but I could barely even see them. The whole world felt hazy and I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or not. “Are you okay?”
“You were with Peter?” Jack had stopped playing the game and turned to look at me. He eyed me over, and he saw something that made his face harden. “Come here.” I felt frozen in place, so he commanded more harshly, “Come here.”