“I’m just so full.”
He peppers kisses along my jaw, loosening the tension building inside me. As he makes his way up and down my neck with his mouth, I let my hands wander his body from his strong shoulders, to his corded back. It’s never been like this for me. I’ve never known sex to feel this . . . this fulfilled. Taken. I’ve never had such a strong, capable, sweet, and sexy man to hold on to, and to dote on me.
And now that I have it, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to let go.
“You feel so fucking good, Emma.” His hips start to move, sending his cock in and out of me. He’s slow at first, giving me a chance to accommodate his thrusts, but once he finds I’ve relaxed, that my legs have spread wider for him, he picks up his pace and pushes against the mattress holding his body above mine.
I can’t help but glance at our connection, at the way Tucker’s abs contract with each thrust, at his ripped arms and pecs flexing and straining. I’ve never needed to watch during sex, and this is beyond hot and it spurs me on.
“Need more,” he grunts. So he picks up my leg and drapes it over his shoulder causing my body to twist just slightly and giving him a better angle. That’s when he hits that spot and my eyes shoot wide open as well as my mouth.
“Oh fuck.” He starts to pound into me, knowing exactly how he’s bringing me so close to the edge. “Oh, Tucker, right there. Oh my God.”
My entire body starts to tingle, hum, and burn with awareness. One of his hands grips my leg that’s slung over his shoulder, the other is braced on my hip as he continues to thrust. Every muscle in his chest strains, flexes, and works to bring us both pleasure. He’s so beautiful. I want him to be mine.
“Christ.” He quickens his pace. I welcome the force and open wider for him. I have nothing to grip since he’s propped up, so I press my hands against the headboard and push against him when he pushes into me.
That does it.
My vision goes black, my walls tighten around him, and pure pleasure shoots through me, the kind of pleasure I’ve never felt before. Everything is different with this man. The way he touches me, the way he talks to me . . . the way he looks at me. The way he feels inside my body. It’s all so intoxicating. I’m drowning in his presence.
“Fuck, I’m going to come, baby,” Tucker calls out right before he stills and grunts out one of the sexiest sounds I’ve ever heard. His expression is soaked in pleasure, his eyes tight for a second before they open and spot me as he takes a deep breath and smiles.
Oh God. Right there. That’s the reason he could break my heart and shatter it to pieces. That one boyish look . . . it guts me.
I catch my breath as Tucker cleans up but I don’t get much time to think because he’s quickly hopping back in bed, putting us both under the covers, and bringing me into his chest where my head rests. He strokes my hair as I snuggle into him.
We are silent for a second, unsure of what to say after having such a momentous event, but Tucker doesn’t take long to come up with something, to solidify this man forever in my heart.
“I never knew the girl who used to scold me for peeing off a back porch would be the girl who would flip my world upside down.” He lets out a long breath. “Fuck, Emma, you’re so goddamn perfect. That was perfect. We were perfect. ” He’s absolutely correct.
I dance my fingers across his chest and kiss his jaw. “It was perfect.”
“There is one thing I need to bring up though.”
My stomach twists in a knot, wondering if I did something wrong. Wondering if he’s going to mention her. “Uh, what’s that?”
He clears his throat and says, “You owe me a new gallon of ice cream, because that cookie dough is melted to shit right about now.”
I giggle into his chest and nod with a sigh of relief. “That’s fair . . . DJ Hot Cock.”
That gets a chuckle out of him. He kisses the top of my head and says, “Very accurate description, huh?”
“Spot on.” I smile to myself, loving that even after we crossed the point of no return, we can still be us. Because it’s just Tucker and me. That’s it, no one else.
But, I still can’t help wondering as Tucker starts to drift off into a slumber, was this how he was with her? Light and breezy after sex? Did they cuddle? Did he tell her she was perfect? Did he shatter her world with one night in bed?
Because I think he’ll shatter mine, right into a million unfixable pieces.
Chapter Eighteen
TUCKER
The ringing of my alarm pulls me out of my deep slumber. I quickly turn it off before it can be anymore obnoxious than it is.
Not wanting to wake Emma, I carefully slip out from under her grasp and slide out of bed, making sure to line up my pillow for her to snuggle against. It does the trick as she readjusts and makes a cute little humming sound as she nuzzles her head.
I take a moment to observe her. Her chestnut-brown hair is a mess from my hands, her breathing is steady—an even rhythm that soothes me—and her mouth is slightly open, reminding me of just how deliciously dirty her mouth was last night.
I run my hand over my face and shake my head. I fucked Emma Marks. Not just once, but three times. Three fucking times.
I tug on my hair and go to my closet where I grab my running clothes and shoes. Naked, I tiptoe downstairs, dress, and lace up my shoes.
I need to clear my head. I need to process everything from last night.
I strap my phone to my arm, press shuffle on my running playlist, and take off when I’ve shut the side door to the house. I don’t bother with a warm-up; I get straight into my pace and turn toward Port Dickson Community Park.
Coldplay’s “The Scientist” streams through my earbuds, providing a thoughtful melody for me to run to, maybe a little too thoughtful as the lyrics immediately start to speak to me.
“Nobody said it was easy, it’s such a shame for us to part . . .”
My feet pound against the pavement, my knees absorbing little shock from the vibrations, jolting my body more than usual. I’m stiff, confused, fucking terrified. I slept with another woman, a woman that wasn’t Sadie.
“Take me back to the start . . .” The song hits me square in the fucking heart where it rests heavy with . . . fuck, I don’t know what’s weighing it down. Regret? No, I don’t regret last night. There is no way I could ever regret the connection I shared with Emma or the way she so effortlessly gave me her body. Nor how much I loved taking her body.
So if it’s not regret, then why do I feel like I’m sitting in a choker hold, the ability to breathe becoming less and less with each step forward?
I had sex with another woman. That thought is on replay in my head. I kissed Emma, ran my tongue along every part of her body, buried myself deep within her, fucked her, and came in her while her name slipped off my tongue. And when we passed out, I held on to her, tightly, as if I let go, she would disappear just like Sadie did.
Christ.