“Hey chica, what’s shaking?” Eva chirps, sticking her head in the doorway. As usual, she looks sharp in a pearly blouse and black slacks, a glossy belt wrapped around her trim waist. Her hair is down today and is styled with voluminous curls. It looks good on her and makes her big eyes seem absolutely huge. On top of that, she’s sporting a huge smile on her face that says she’s happy-as-fuck about something.
“Nothing,” I mutter, sitting aside my work laptop. “What’s got you so chipper today?”
Eva steps into the room and begins wringing her hands excitedly. “You know that deal I’ve been working on?”
“Yeah?”
She does a little victory jump. “Well, I got it!”
I get up from my seat and go over to give her a big hug. “Congratulations Eva, I’m so happy for you!” I really am. She’s been working her ass off over this. I give her a tight squeeze.
“Thank you!” Eva grins at me as we pull back from each other. “We’ve gotta go out and celebrate!”
For the first time in hours, I smile a genuine happy smile. I am definitely getting drinks with Eva and letting loose.
My desk phone rings before I can answer, and I hold up a finger to Eva. I need to take the call in case it’s a client.
“Why the fuck are you ignoring me?” Ian snarls. “Couldn’t handle seeing me happy, huh?”
Anger burns in my chest and I grip the phone so tightly I fear it might crack. It’s hard keeping my emotions in check, but I somehow manage. This gives me comfort. I feel like I’m in control now. I take a deep breath and calmly say, “Just leave me alone, Ian. Please. I’d appreciate it if you just forgot my number. I don’t want to ever see or hear from you again.”
“You act so pissed, like I did something so horrible to you.” Ian argues. “When it's obvious you bear some responsibility for what happened, hell, you brought all this on yourself.”
Again I feel a surge of anger, but it’s weaker than the last time. This man, if I can even call him that, is someone I never really knew. Why should I let anything he does or say bother me? His words are designed to bait me into a screaming fit, and he knows what he's saying is utter bullshit. I’m not going to play into it. He’s not fucking worth it. Not anymore.
I look at the doorway and mouth an apology to Eva. Her eyes are full of pity, and I hate it. I shake my head and close my eyes. I am at last done with Ian. Forever.
“You never loved me, did you?” I say to him. “You were just using me this whole time, pretending to be something you weren’t.” I don’t know why, but saying the words out loud shatters my last defense. I feel raw and vulnerable, but in a way, stronger for admitting the truth. I open my eyes as Ian goes off about how I wasn’t there for him, saying things that are mostly falsehoods designed to get me worked up. But I’m no longer listening.
Bye, Ian.
Tiredly, I drop the phone from my ear and lean over to hang it up.
At that moment, I hear a small sound near the doorway and I look over. My heart skips a beat. It’s Logan, standing behind Eva... and he’s staring at me with a pissed off expression.
Oh shit. I don’t know what all he heard me say, but this isn’t what it looks like. My heart beats frantically, and I try to think of how to explain it. But it’s too late.
Before I can think of what to say, Logan turns and walks off.
Chapter 22
Logan
I know my driver, Andrew, is waiting out front of the building. I stare out of the large windows and look down. I need to go. There’s more work I can do here. There’s always more work, more deals and emails and business ties. But I want to leave and get the fuck out of here. I’m pissed.
She told me she was single, and I believed her.
I clench my jaw and try to relax my fists.
The way she was talking to him didn’t fucking sound like things were over between them. I don’t like it.
I don’t like that I feel lied to. More than that, I don’t like my reaction. I wanted to pin her down and fuck her while he could hear her on the phone. I wanted to show her who she belonged to. And that’s dangerous.
She doesn’t belong to me. That’s not what this is supposed to be. I can’t deny what I’m feeling though. And I fucking hate it.
I haven’t gotten one productive thing done since I walked in on that phone call.
I breathe heavily and turn away from the window. I feel like a caged animal in this office. I need to find a release.
I look back at my computer screen and feel a small pang of guilt.
It’s a record of her phone calls and texts. It wasn’t quite legal to do, but it was easy. And I needed to know.
My father used to do this shit to my mother. I don’t want to be like him. I hate falling into his old habits.
When he looked at her messages though, he found plenty. All I’m seeing is evidence that they’re over.
It doesn’t make me any less angry. I don’t like her getting worked up over him. I want all of her passion. Every last bit. That fucker doesn’t deserve an ounce of it. If she wants someone to yell at, I’d rather it be me.
I’ve been obsessing over that thought since I’ve realized it’s true. I shouldn’t want it.