Darcy laughs and nods. “So what's up?”
I start folding another shirt, but the emotions are too much, and I keep fumbling it, turning the tiny little Elmo shirt into a ball. Finally, I give up and toss the shirt back into the basket, and bury my head in my hands. The tears are hot, bitter, and I don't even realize they're flowing until I can't see anymore, and I feel Darcy put her hands on my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. Her casual accent is gone, and she's back to being her normal Darcy, calm and supportive. “Shh, Baby Girl, shh... you just let yourself cry. I'm right here.”
It's been years since I last wept, so long I can't even remember it. I know it was after Virginia took me in, but that's about it. I didn't even know I could cry still, but sitting there, Darcy holding me close like I was her own child, I cry, all the pain and anger of the past twelve hours flowing out into her tank top. I don't know how long I cry, but when it's gone, I feel hollowed out, cauterized. “Thanks.”
Darcy nods and hands me a hand towel from the basket. “Here, wipe yourself down. I'd get you a tissue, but I know you hate those things. Ain't got a handkerchief around, though.”
“This is fine,” I say, wiping my eyes. “I hope Henry won't mind me borrowing it.”
“Oh, that one's Jeff's,” Darcy says with a little chuckle. “But no, he won't mind. Now, what's going on?”
“My parents... they may be alive,” I say, looking up into Darcy's big brown eyes. “At least... my father might be.”
Darcy blinks, absorbing the information. “He faked his death?”
I nod. “That's what it seems like. I got a message from a source last night, and Jackson says he confirmed it with Nathan Black. The bomb that went off, it was a ruse. They... they abandoned me.”
The words start fresh tears, more sad than angry and bitter, and I'm crying for the six years of foster care, of the decade of pitiless training, of obsession that I'm still not free of. I wipe at my eyes again, not letting myself lose control. Darcy hums, then gives me an intense look. “So you want my help?”
I nod and fold the hand towel in half to get rid of the snottiness. “Yeah. According to the source, he's living in Miami under the name Michael Ball. Now, I remember you mentioning you've got some connections in Miami. Familywise, even.”
“I do, a few cousins, an ex-boyfriend, too,” Darcy agrees. “You want me to use my resources?”
“Would you? I mean, I'll work my end, but you've got feet on the ground already in Miami.”
“Sure. For you, I'd go to Miami myself and track your daddy down. Can I ask you a question, though?”
“Shoot,” I say, reaching into the laundry basket and taking out the Elmo shirt I screwed up before. The words about my parents out, I find that I'm able to actually fold the shirt halfway decently.
“If this is true... what's that do to your plans?” Darcy asks. “You've been gunnin' for blood for a decade, but is it still worth blood?”
I think about it, then shake my head. “I don't know anymore. I know Peter needs to go down still. The entire DeLaCoeur network needs to be dismantled. But...”
“But you've got complications now,” Darcy says simply, nodding. “You're thinking about what this means to Jackson, to Andrea. And I'm going to be blunt, you're thinking more than just about what you did to Jackson.”
“I… I don't know,” I reply honestly. “It's like you said, complicated. He's an ally, that's for certain. Considering he went toe to toe with Nathan last night in boxing, he deserves at least that much.”
Darcy hums knowingly, and I give her a look. “What?”
“Nothin'. Just glad to see that you're maybe considering that there's more to life than death and revenge. Listen, if you've got a few hours, I can get to work on reaching out to my contacts now. We might have something for you by the time Jeff gets home, he's working a double today.”
“Ouch, double shifts? What's up?”
Darcy shakes her head. “Contract talks are coming up, and a lot of guys are calling out sick because they think the new contracts are going to take away their built-up sick days. Jeff isn't mad though, the day shift's doing community outreach at one of the elementary schools, then just catching up on paperwork. His sergeant's looking out for him.”
“When is Jeff going to go for sergeant?” I ask. He’s a year younger than Darcy at thirty-one, and has been on the NOPD for eight years now, so I'm curious. “And yeah, I can hang out a little bit.”
“Good. And Jeff thinks that maybe a sergeant slot's going to open up pretty soon. He's already a training officer, he thinks he can maybe make a shift sergeant slot as soon as the new fiscal year comes up. A couple of guys are slated to retire, and he's one of the top training corporals. If not, he'll look for an Academy slot, see if he can maybe get a daytime only shift job for a year or two.”