“Me, too.”
“Maybe the Moxie newsletter girls will do something about it,” she tells me.
“But what?” I ask. It strikes me that I’m open to suggestions.
“Advocate for kneeing them in the balls,” Lucy says definitively. “They can call it the knee-in-the-nuts.”
I grin back, imagining the scenario. Mitchell Wilson would get it so bad he wouldn’t be able to father children. Now that would be a win for human evolution.
After forty more minutes of Romeo and Juliet, the bell rings. As we head out of class, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I guess I’m a little jumpy from the bump ’n’ grab, because I spin around, a glare on my face.
It’s Seth. He blinks his eyes a bit as they adjust to the light of the hallway.
“Hey,” he says, pulling back. “Sorry if I scared you.”
“Oh,” I say, glancing down, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I thought you were … I don’t know.”
“It’s cool.”
Lucy gives me a quick wave and a knowing look before ducking into the crowded hallway, and I find myself walking with Seth, my heart keeping double time. At one point we’re squeezed up against each other, shoulder to shoulder. He doesn’t fall back or pull forward. His shoulder is warm. Sturdy. I didn’t know shoulders could be so sexy.
“I listened to that album you told me about,” he says.
“Did you like it?”
“Definitely. Especially the lead guitarist.”
“Yeah, she’s great.”
“Are you going anywhere for break?” he asks.
“No, just staying put. Hangin’ out with the grandparents.”
“Cruising the Sonic?” he asks.
“And the funeral home, naturally,” I answer, pleased I don’t miss a beat.
“Very funny,” Seth says, and we look each other right in the eyes and grin. Seth is super tall like me, but I kind of like the fact that I don’t have to peer up at him like I’m some little kid.
We approach my locker, and I tell him I have to stop to get my lunch. He doesn’t keep walking, though. He sort of leans up against the locker next to mine, resting on one of his incredibly sexy shoulders. I fumble with my combination and finally open my locker on the second try.
“So … what about, like, over the break?” I hear Seth’s voice saying as I dig through my stuff for my bag lunch. “What if you let me take you out? Like on a real date? Like eating real food together or whatever. Not just a drive-thru.”
Blood pumps in my ears. My hand is clutching my brown bag lunch as if it’s the only thing keeping me from collapsing on the tiled floor. I manage to turn to make eye contact with Seth, but as soon as I do he glances past me for a moment and then briefly back at me and then at his shoes.
“Uh, like … okay?” I say. “Like, that would be … great.”
“Cool,” Seth says, looking up at me and smiling. I’m still clutching my damn lunch, trying to steady myself. “I’ll text you. Or call you. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say.
“Okay,” he says.
Just as I’m wondering if I should say okay one more time, Seth grins and heads off down the hallway, and I’m feeling all spinny and silly and sure I’m about to pass out. I close my locker and scan the faces around me, looking for Claudia or Lucy.
Bump.
I gasp, catching my breath. It comes from behind, and just as I try to catch my balance, I feel a hand on my back. Snap! My bra strap slides back against my skin with a sting.
“What the…,” I start, catching a glimpse of what I’m pretty sure is the back of Jason Garza’s pointy, pea-brained head as he races off.
“Sorry!” he yells.
A fuck you is buried in my throat, but all I can manage to do is make it into the nearest bathroom. I catch a glimpse of a few girls preening at the sinks. I nod at them briefly and slide into one of the stalls, my eyes on the floor, and shut the door behind me. The shock of what Jason’s just done makes me want to scream. I think maybe I want to cry, too, but tears don’t come out. There’s just a buzzing, sharp rage coursing through me. Any good feeling I got from Seth asking me out has been switched off. I can still sense Jason’s hand on my back. I can still feel the snap of my bra. I can still hear him shouting out a fake apology.
Outside, the girls’ voices are light and lyrical, chatting about Christmas and the upcoming break. I want to make sure I have it together before I leave the stall, and I turn just a bit and take a breath. That’s when I see it. Written in black Sharpie on the back wall. Just over the toilet.
MOXIE GIRLS FIGHT BACK!
I don’t recognize the handwriting. I don’t know who did it. It wasn’t me, and Lucy wouldn’t have been able to keep it quiet if she’d been the one responsible. That means some girl—a girl I don’t even know—has written those words.
MOXIE GIRLS FIGHT BACK!
I take a deep breath and smile at the graffiti as if I expect it to smile back.
*
That night as I’m zoning out in front of the television, my phone buzzes on the coffee table. I reach for it.
Hey—what’s up? It’s Seth. I grin.
Hey—not much just watching tv
I watch the text bubble pop up and my breathing tightens a little in anticipation.
So about going out … what about this friday?
My eyes pop open. That’s the very first night of break.
Yeah that would be great
Maybe that Mexican place … Los Tios? Went there with my parents a few times right after we moved here
Yeah it’s pretty good
I bite my lip. Joan Jett jumps up next to me on the couch and starts pawing at me to pet her. With one hand I reach for her absentmindedly, my eyes glued to my phone.
Listen you probably think I’m an asshole …
“Huh?” I say out loud. Joan Jett purrs in agreement.
Uh … no … should I? I write back.
There’s a long pause before a message pops up. My eyes try to take it all in at once, and I have to force myself to slow down and read word by word.
Like … I asked you to hang out that one time and then we didn’t hang out again … I was seeing this girl back in Austin and I felt kind of like a dick hanging out with you when I hadn’t really ended things with her … which I did recently btw …
“Oh,” I say out loud, like Seth can hear me. My brain is struggling to process this information. I’m already imagining going through it syllable by syllable when I call Claudia later. Maybe Lucy, too. I take a breath and think of how to respond.
I didn’t think you were a dick …
Seth responds immediately.
Yeah? Btw I’m worried that last text makes me sound like a fucking player … and that is actually not the case
That text makes me smile. I tap out a response.
No it’s okay … I guess I was just wondering what was up
Pause.
You’re going to make me say it?
Reading this text makes me sit up straight, and I accidentally knock Joan Jett off the couch. She saunters away, irritated.
Say what? I type back. My heart flutters.
Pause.
Another pause.
Say that I think you’re one cool girl
I blink. This doesn’t happen to me. I’m not the kind of girl this happens to.
Yet it is happening.
To me.