“Ms. Donahue is going to be pissed if she catches you eating in her library,” Em says once she swallows.
Ms. Donahue has run the school library probably longer than all of us have been alive. She’s terrifying. “I’m not scared.”
“Rebel,” she says, nudging my shoulder with hers.
Blowing out a loud breath, I turn to look at her. “What’s up?” There’s no reason for her to sit by me in the library. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Emily Griffith in the school library even once.
“I wanted to thank you, for the apology,” she whispers, glancing around as if she wants to make sure no one is near. “That, uh—meant a lot to me.”
“I felt awful all last night, thinking about what I said to you,” I admit.
Em raises her eyebrows in real surprise. How I can tell, I’m not sure, but I can. “Really?”
I nod my answer.
“Well, I guess I appreciate you feeling bad?”
“I’m not normally a mean girl,” I tell her. “Seriously. This is so not my style. I’m quiet. No one pays attention to me at school. Not usually.”
“Right. But maybe you have a secret. That maybe under the good girl exterior is a bad girl on the side who goes by the street name Stella in the House?”
I burst out laughing, clamping a hand over my mouth when I hear Ms. Donahue reprimand me with a low, “Quiet!”
The front desk is nowhere near where we’re sitting, but Ms. Donahue has no qualms in silencing people wherever they’re at.
“Stella in the House?” I ask Em, still wanting to laugh, but Ms. Donahue will probably kick me out.
Em shrugs. “I thought it sounded good.”
“You are so weird.”
“So are you. Hiding out in here when you could be hanging out in the quad with Jordan Tuttle.” She sighs and shakes her head.
Why oh why does everyone mention his name to me? We’re nothing. “He doesn’t want me hanging out in the quad with him.”
“You sure about that? He’s always looking around like he lost something. I’m starting to believe he’s always looking for you,” Em says.
My heart trips over itself at her words then I tell myself to get over it. “Give me a break.”
“I’m totally serious.” She looks totally serious too.
“Well, he’s not interested in me like that.” I look away, wishing I wasn’t interested in him like that either.
“His loss.” She grabs another baby carrot and pops it into her mouth, crunching loudly. “Nominations are announced today in fifth period,” she says once she swallows.
Great. That’s right after lunch, and Tuttle’s in that class with me. Is he going to be in a celebratory mode once he hears he’s been nominated?
Because he so has. It doesn’t matter how much he denies it’ll happen, it’s happening.
“Think you’ll get nominated?” she asks.
“Me?” I actually scoff. “No freaking way. That’s for the popular girls.” I pause, studying her. “You might get nominated.”
“Yeah, right. For biggest school slut? Definitely.” Em laughs, but there’s no humor in the sound. “Hey, I need to go. But can you, um, tell Livvy hi from me? And that I miss her?”
Aw. This makes me feel bad, especially after all the horrible things Livvy said about Em.
“Sure.” Depends on if she’s still talking to me or not, considering I probably made her super pissed with our earlier conversation.
“You’re lucky,” Em says, her gaze becoming unfocused. Distant. As if she can see something I can’t. “You still have Livvy. Hopefully she doesn’t burn you too hard.”
Her cryptic message makes me want to ask Em lots of questions. Questions she might not want to answer.
“Okay, gotta go.” Em takes yet another baby carrot before she turns and starts to walk away. “See ya later, Stella!” she yells, making Ms. Donahue offer up an almost desperate “shush” in answer.
I say nothing. Decide it’s best to savor the moment rather than pick it apart and end up driving myself crazy with all the what ifs spiraling through my head.
I walk into English like I’m about to face a firing squad. Slow and reluctant and ready to duck and run at the first opportunity. The relief that hits me when I realize Tuttle isn’t in the classroom almost makes me sag to the floor, I’m so grateful. I fall into my chair, drop my backpack at my feet and smile at Mrs. Meyer when she makes her appearance at the front of the class.
The next fifty minutes should pass fairly easy without Tuttle around to distract me. When the bell rings, Mrs. Meyer immediately starts talking about our group projects.
“Okay, guys, this is going to be so much fun! Here’s what we’re going to do. I want each of you to create diary entries in the voice of famous literature characters,” she explains. “These characters need to have an established relationship. Whether it’s mother and son, close friends, bitter enemies, or even lovers.”
And with that last word, all the boys go, “Ooooh.”