"I know we seem cold to you," Nathan said, the humor that was normally in his voice absent. "It's not true. We experience things more deeply, more vividly. The deeper the connection, the greater the possibility of insanity when that connection is cut."
I looked away from his piercing eyes. I was willing to take the chance. You didn't walk away just because you knew it was going to hurt someday. As a human, I knew my days could be cut short at any moment. That's why you had to live to the fullest, because one day there wouldn't be any more sunrises and you'd be left staring into the dark wondering if you did everything you could to enjoy the short time you had. I think these vampires had forgotten that. Maybe I would too, eventually. Maybe they were right, and I was courting insanity by clinging to my human family. Some risks were worth taking.
I stepped close to her makeup table and started riffling through the drawers.
"What are you doing?"
"Person like this, I'm betting she had a diary of some kind." It would fit with the woman who had put her stamp on this room.
I opened the last drawer and felt around it, coming up with nothing. Reaching further into the space, I patted along the back and felt along the top. My fingers brushed against a hard ridge. There was something there—something taped against the wood. I pulled it free and stood up.
A journal, a little bigger than my hand, rested in my hands. It had yellow stars on the front and one of those key latches.
I opened it, flipping to the last couple of entries. If there was anything useful in here, it would be towards the end.
He visited me again last night. I worry sometimes that we're letting our feelings get in the way of what's important. Once we have the kiss, there will be no reason to sneak around. He keeps saying it won't be long now, that he has a plan. I hope so. This charade is becoming tiring.
Two days later, there was another entry.
He's asked me to lie for him. I couldn't deny him, even as my doubts are creeping in. What if my patron finds out? What if the rest of the enforcers are onto us? I don't like how the head enforcer, Liam, questioned me—like he knew I was lying.
This started as a game, but now it's so much more. I don't know what I would do if I lost him, even as I realize my patron would turn me out if he figures out I've been sneaking around behind his back. I must have faith in my love and his promises of eternal life, but sometimes I fear he's lost sight of that in the desire to punish the bitch who continually rejects the gift she's been given.
I was guessing I was the bitch in that entry.
A few pages later.
We've found a way to hurt her. It's the perfect plan, and after we'll take her place in eternity. We're going out again tonight, and this time I won't lose courage at the last minute.
The last entry was dated the night she died. Guess we all knew how that ended. I sat down on the bed and looked around. The journal had been helpful in confirming my suspicion there was more to her and Theo's death than was immediately evident. But, I still didn't have the full picture.
For starters, who was this ‘he’ she wrote of? Theo? He was dead too, so if he was a part of this, it was only as a bit player. Someone else was pulling her strings. I needed to find out who.
"Let's head to Theo's room," I said, closing the journal and standing with it.
His room was one floor down in the section Nathan told me belonged to the male companions. The two genders were separated by floor. Those who served high-ranking vampires had bigger rooms on one end of the hallway versus those whose vampires had a lower rank.
Hierarchy even here. Why was I not surprised?
"This should be Theo's room," Nathan said.
I didn't question him as I followed him into the dark room. Nathan flicked on the light to quarters that were as different from the one upstairs as a butterfly was to a hawk. Both flew but the manner in which they traveled was night and day.
Theo's room was done in neutral colors, his furniture strong blocky pieces. It was a nice room and utterly devoid of personality—nothing on the walls and no items around the room pointing to who he was as a person, nothing that said what kind of life he led. It was as impersonal as a guest room or something found in a hotel—a pretty picture but almost sterile in its beauty.
I walked around the space, looking everything over carefully. When I completed the circuit, I could have told you no more about the occupant's personality than before exploring, besides the fact that he liked brown. Maybe. Or perhaps he'd picked that color because of how neutral it was. The room wasn't overly masculine.
I opened an old, wooden armoire, the only thing in the room that seemed out of place. It was empty. Of course, it was. I closed the doors and frowned.
"Does this place seem weird to you?" I asked, not sure if it was just my imagination.
"What do you mean?" Nathan set down a coffee coaster he'd picked up.
"There aren't any personal items."
Nathan shrugged. "There're books."
"Every one of them old or a dictionary. No thrillers or mysteries or sci-fi. Just leather-bound books. Nobody reads that kind of stuff. They're the books you pick up in antique shops so you can stage your public bookshelves so people think you're worldly and smart." I knew this because my mother did it. She staged the shelves with old-looking books and items she'd collected through years of life. My father and sister had always teased her about it.
"Perhaps he just likes old books." Nathan drifted over to the bookshelf in question.
Maybe. It still seemed weird.
This place felt like a dead end. I settled on the bed, staring around the room.
"Are you done now?" Nathan asked.
I didn't answer. Perhaps it had been arrogant to think I could find a clue when I was sure the vampires had examined these rooms as well.
My eyes fell on the floor before the armoire. There were scuff marks on the wood, as if the heavy piece of furniture had been dragged into place. I got off the bed and bent in front of the piece, touching the floor gently. It looked like only one of the legs had left a mark, probably because the felt under it had worn down. The rest of the legs were protected against scratching the floor.
"I think I found something," I said.
"What?" Nathan asked from the door.
I didn't answer, too busy moving the armoire. With my increased strength, it was easy to shift the piece of furniture out of the way to reveal the wall behind it, covered in paper and notes and photos.
"What's that?" Nathan asked from the other side of the room.
I shook my head. "I don't know."
I stepped closer to the wall and the papers the armoire had hidden. Smart of Theo to use the furniture to cover whatever this was. Smarter than most. It's easy to find things stuffed in books or furniture—but behind it? Few people think to check there. I certainly wouldn't have. Not without the markings on the floor as a hint.
Nathan examined the papers next to me, a frown on his face. "Why would he want to hide this?"