I was waiting for him to look at me. I was waiting for him to notice the look in my eyes. The one that would tell him everything he needed to know. The truth I was starting to accept had been a part of me for years, but one I’d chosen to keep hidden from view.
“What are you talking about?” Jacob crossed his arms, stepping in front of Matt again when he tried to go around him. “When have you ever done that?”
Matt was quiet, staring at Jacob like they were having a silent conversation. Growing up with them, I knew that, as twins, they were well-versed with those silent conversations.
“You know when,” Matt said, his voice just barely trembling. “You know it. And I know it. And Cora’s about to find out if you keep pushing me. You’re losing points, so you might want to hang on to the few you still have. Now get out of my way.” Matt shoved Jacob aside, hard enough he stumbled back into the wall. “I’m tired of you standing in my way.”
Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, there I was holding a bag of ice to my temple, where I’d earned thirteen stitches, sitting in an empty hotel bed and staring at a blank television screen after chasing off one brother by hurting him and the other by shoving him out of my room.
Jacob hadn’t been eager to leave. He’d wanted to talk, but I knew what he wanted to talk about and that was still not a conversation I was ready to have. Not until I knew for sure. Not until I’d considered the consequences and was prepared for the fallout.
Matt had taken off, and while I guessed he was back in his cabin, I knew he didn’t want to see me. Not after what I’d said. I might not have meant it in the way he’d taken it, but I hadn’t said or, more importantly, done anything to show him otherwise.
I needed to know exactly how I felt and get good and comfortable with it before I approached either of them. All three of our lives had been changed when Matt stepped up to that altar. Or going back a little further, our lives had been changed when Jacob didn’t show up. Or going farther back still, our lives had been changed the first day we’d all met, three lives weaving together, somehow tangling into an unwieldy knot over the course of twenty years.
My head was still throbbing, a few bruises starting to splotch my skin from the fall, as I stared at that blank television screen and saw what felt like my whole life story play before me. Seeing their life stories unfold along with mine. Matt and Jacob were such a part of my life, they were woven into the very person I was today. They were both a part of me and they always would be, but I could only pick one to spend my life with. One to share a life with, and the other to sever ties with.
I knew that was inevitable. It was the only way it could be after everything. I couldn’t choose one and still be friends with the other. That might have worked for the past decade, but it wouldn’t work after this. I also knew that might have been due to the brother my conscience had already silently chosen. He might have been okay with a friendship while his brother got more, but it wouldn’t work the other way around.
When the knock sounded at my door, I instantly checked the time on my phone. I’d kept it in my lap all evening, hoping it would ring or Matt would send me a message or something to know he hadn’t walked through the last door in my life.
It was after nine. Jacob had said he was going to hit the gym and grab dinner after. He’d said he’d swing me up something if I wanted, but I knew what that dinner would come with a side of—more questions. He’d told me to call him if I needed anything, that he’d be five minutes or less away, but he’d promised to give me space.
Sliding out of bed, I grabbed my bathrobe and tied it on. After Jacob finally left, I’d pulled the towel off my shoulder and stood in front of the mirror for a long time, staring at the mark resting above my breast. It looked like a flower just starting to blossom. I stared at it until I could almost feel Matt’s mouth on me again, pulling at my skin, taking a part of me and leaving a part of him behind.
Doing a quick check in the mirror, I made sure the bathrobe was covering the mark before I checked the peephole. The person standing on the other side of the door was not who I was expecting. Kind of the last person I was expecting, given her allegiance to the brother I’d just hurt in a way I’d never intended.
My fingers froze on the door handle. I could just pretend I wasn’t here. She’d go away eventually. Maggie Stevenson and I had never been friends by any stretch of the word. We’d been more like silent adversaries through high school, then avoided each other as much as possible ever since. She was Matt’s friend. I was Matt’s friend. By transitive means, that should have made us friends, instead of the opposite.
“I came here to say something to you. So if you don’t want to open the door, that’s cool. I have no problem saying what I need to right here in the hallway.” Maggie’s volume was growing with every word. “For everyone to hear.”
Sighing, I resigned myself to this conversation. When I opened the door, I found her standing there, brows peaked, holding a bottle of champagne in one hand and a couple of paper cups in another.
“Surprise. It’s nice to see you too.” She smirked at me and what I guessed was my expression at the moment. Then she slid past me into the room.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, cutting to the chase.
She was here for a reason, not to shoot the shit, and the sooner we hashed it out, the sooner I could get back to hashing everything else out. Plus, Maggie didn’t do bullshit. She told it like it was. It was one of the things I respected about her. It was also what intimidated me about her.
“I’m here to have a little woman-to-woman talk with you.” She waved the bottle in the air before setting it on the desk and giving the bandage covering my temple a curious look. “And I brought my little friend, Dom Perignon, because if this chat goes according to plan, I’m going to be drinking the shit out of this stuff while I celebrate.”
Closing the door, I stayed where I was. “Celebrate what?”
“A good friend’s happily ever after. Finally,” she added, looking at me standing there in my bathrobe, my hair a limp, tangled mess, like she was trying to figure me out.
“Does Matt know you’re here?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“No. Matt definitely does not know I’m here.” Maggie kicked off her sandals and plopped down onto the end of the mattress, tucking her leg beneath her. “He wouldn’t approve if he did, and I can tell from your warm smile that you don’t approve, but I’m tired of this evasive shit going on between you two. I’m saying what I need to, once and for all.”