I feel small beneath her scrutiny. “Of course. It’s newsworthy.”
“Yes, because scandal is the most popular type of news there is these days. We just love to see the high and mighty fall. It makes us all feel better about our own pathetic lives. But as much as I’d like to see Walter Massey taken down, because he’s an insufferable, sexist pig, Marla would be taken down with him. And that woman has enough to deal with. All of Max’s clients do. I don’t know a single one of them who deserves to be publicly humiliated.” She gestures to the crowd. “All of these women are here tonight to support a charity that empowers other women. Skills-training programs, safe havens from domestic abuse, philanthropic grants, and special housing for homeless women and children. Maybe you could highlight their work rather than what they do in their spare time.”
From her words I feel like I’m receiving a lecture, but her tone and face still remain kind. “My editor wants me to name names.”
“Of course he does. But I think you’re clever enough to write the story you want and still make it newsworthy.”
I watch as Marla and her husband take to the dance floor. With the knowledge I have, I can now see how Marla’s blithe smile seems hollow.
“Did Max tell you we have a bet?” I ask. “If I develop feelings for him, I have to drop the story altogether.”
“And how’s that working out for you?”
“Right now? I have no idea.”
“You like him.”
“I guess.”
“That wasn’t a question. And he likes you.”
I laugh. “Let’s be honest; he likes a lot of women.”
“I’m not going to argue that point, but he’s never, and I mean ever, looked at any woman the way he looks at you.” She directs her attention over my shoulder and smiles before coming back to me. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to attend to other guests.”
As she walks away, Max appears next to me.
“Should I be nervous that you were talking with Vivian?”
“You tell me.”
He doesn’t look at me. Instead, he glances at the stage. He’s trying to appear calm, but I can still feel his anger. It’s in the hunch of his shoulders and the clench of his fists.
“I’m sorry about before,” he says. “I wasn’t expecting that call tonight, and it put me on edge.”
“To put it mildly,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
He glances down, not meeting my eyes, like he’s just exposed a part of himself he’d rather have kept hidden. “I didn’t mean to leave you alone.”
“Are you okay now?”
He nods but still looks as if he’d like to pick up another table and throw it across the room.
“Can I do anything for you?” I ask, moving closer. “Get you a drink? A Valium? Maybe a backrub?”
The corners of his mouth lift, but it doesn’t quite become a full-blown smile. With his eyes still downcast, he takes my hand. “I might take you up on the backrub later, but for now, just dance with me.”
I squeeze his hand in silent agreement, and he leads me to the dance floor. The band is playing smooth big-band music from the forties, and even though there are a dozen or so other couples around us, when he pulls me into his arms, the whole room fades away, until all I’m aware of is him.
As we come together, something shifts in the air between us. The music gets softer. The edges of my vision blur. There’s a tunnel of energy straight from me to him, and it’s the most exciting and terrifying experience I’ve ever encountered.
When he presses his cheek against my temple, his skin is hot. He takes some deep breaths, and as I stroke the hair at the base of his neck, he lets out a noise that’s a mix between a groan and a sigh.
“That feels good.”
Comforting him feels oddly affectionate, but then, that’s a perfect summation of my feelings toward Max.
“It’s ironic,” he says as we sway to the music. “So many women hold me up as the paragon of a perfect man, and they couldn’t be more wrong. If they only knew the truth.”
His statement surprises me. I mean, I know he’s too good to be true, I just don’t know why. But to hear him admit it confirms something I’ve thought all along.
“What truth are you talking about?”
He pulls me closer. “Can we just dance? I’d like a little more time before you look at me like I’m a piece of shit.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I hold him closer and keep moving.
By the time the song ends, his muscles are less bunched, but he doesn’t step away from me. He just stands there, pressing against me and breathing deep.
“Have you ever felt true joy, Eden?”
I think about it for a few seconds. I’ve spent so long dulling my pain, joy kind of got lost in the mix. “I don’t think so. Or at least if I have, I don’t remember.”
“Me, neither. I’ve found a lot ways to simulate it over the years, but that’s like renting a fancy car for the day and pretending you’re a millionaire. It’s self-delusion, and that’s the saddest, most pathetic delusion of all.” He runs his hand up my spine, until his palm is pressed against the skin between my shoulder blades. “But standing here, holding you ... this feels like the real deal.”
The next song starts, and we sway once more. I wish I could turn my brain off around him, but I can’t. Distrusting smooth men is second nature to me by now, and I have no idea how to train myself out of it.
“Did you like my gifts today?” he asks softly.
“To be honest, I don’t usually go in for the whole hearts and flowers deal,” I say. “But I must admit, you doing all of that ... going to so much trouble ...” I take a breath. “It made me feel like I’m not ordinary for once. I felt ... special.”
He pulls back and looks at me as if I’ve just said the most obvious statement in the history of language. “That’s because you are special. But sometimes it’s nice to have someone remind you. ”
I look up at him. “And that’s what you do, isn’t it? Remind these women of their worth?”
He smiles. “My God, she’s finally got it.”
I pull a face and dig my fingers into his shoulder. “Yes, I catch on fast. Doesn’t mean I don’t still have a ton of questions.”
“I’d expect nothing less of you, Miss Crane.” A furrow forms between his eyebrows. “You know what? Let’s kill the role-playing. I just want to dance with you. No characters. Just us. Okay?”
I try to drop my thorny demeanor and find out if I’m able to unlock my joy. “Okay.”
For a few minutes, I let my guard down and enjoy being a regular girl who’s dancing with a handsome man, but I’m brought unceremoniously out of the moment by my stomach growling so loudly, Max looks down at it and laughs.
“Jesus. Are you keeping wildlife in there?”
I put my hand on my abdomen. “Wow. So, that’s what it sounds like when I forget to eat. It’s never happened before.”
Max puts his hand over mine. “Do you want to get out of here? I know where we can get New York’s best pizza.”