Flutters again. Many freaking flutters. “Ah ... yes, actually. And thanks. You also look beaut ... uh ... nice.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Well, I hope so. I shaved and washed my hair for this date. For a guy, that’s the equivalent of a full day at the salon.”
I laugh and have another sip of alcohol. “I don’t mean to say you just look nice. I was going to say you looked beautiful too, but it felt weird to say that to a man, so I made an emergency left-turn into nice.”
He cocks his head. “You think I look ... beautiful?”
“Yes, but in a manly way. Beautifully handsome, okay? I guess I should have just said handsome, but I didn’t, and oh well ... too late now. Haha.”
Jesus. Could I be any more awkward?
The way his mouth twitches, it’s clear he’s stifling laughter.
“I appreciate the effort to not openly mock me,” I say.
“It’s a struggle. You seem uncomfortable giving compliments. Is that not something you usually do?”
“No. Remember that whole conversation about me not dating? This entire situation is something I don’t usually do.”
His smile fades. “But you’ve dated before, right? This isn’t a new experience for you?”
I swirl the ice cubes around in my glass. “Technically, I’ve dated. But nothing as romantic as this. It’s not really my thing.”
“You don’t like romance? I thought most girls enjoyed that stuff.”
“I’m not most girls.”
He takes a sip of beer and licks his lips. “No, you’re really not.” His eyes sparkle in the low light, and even though I feel like I should look away, I don’t. Neither does he. Things are getting tense in the most arousing way possible when my phone buzzes in my purse. We both look at it.
“Do you need to get that?” he asks.
I shake my head and pull my purse into my lap. “Nope. It’s probably just Asha checking up on us. She can sweat it out until I get home.”
He nods his approval.
When our waitress appears table-side to tell us the specials, I’m grateful for the interruption. My face needs to cool down, and having the menu to shield me from Kieran and his out-of-control hotness helps a little.
After we’ve both ordered our meals and received fresh drinks, Kieran focuses on me again. “So, tell me, why the ban on dating? Was it a bad experience that turned you off?”
I shrug. “I realized at a young age that I wasn’t like other girls who obsessed over romantic fairy tales. I never bought the pipe dream society was selling.”
“Which was ...?”
I stir my drink and smile. “Are you sure you want to get into this? Maybe we should stick to safe subjects like religion, or politics, or our favorite serial killers. Once I jump on this soapbox, you might regret asking the question. Or being here. Or meeting me.”
“Impossible. It’s something you’re obviously passionate about. Hit me.”
“Okay.” I take a breath. “I believe people have been brainwashed into thinking they deserve perfection. As a woman, it’s been drilled into me since I was little that I should be chasing a happy ever after featuring a prince of a husband who’ll help me make two genius children, and we’ll be so deliriously happy, all our friends and family will gag.”
He nods. “Sounds familiar. My ma often asks me when I’m going to settle down. I think that’s close to what she has in mind whenever she brings it up.”
“Exactly. That’s the dream we’ve all been sold in film, and TV shows, and goddamn romance novels. The shiny, happy ending in which we ride unicorns and always orgasm and have that one guy who just gets us, and services us sexually like he was born to do it.”
He leans back in his chair, an amused smirk on his face. “You don’t think it can happen?”
“Not that it can’t, but it’s incredibly unlikely. Present company excepted, most men are assholes.”
Kieran laughs. “Wow. I’m glad I’m given a free pass, but still. A bit of a generalization, don’t you think?”
I look down as my purse vibrates. God, Ash, give it up.
I ignore the phone and sip my drink. “I’m sure there are amazing men in the world. I’ve just never gone out with any of them. In fact, in a city of forty-million people, my unique selling point is that I’m able home in on a douchebag within a five-mile radius.”
Kieran laughs and tips his beer at me before taking a sip. “Wow. That’s impressive. If you could just find a way to turn that into a quantifiable skill, you’d be set for life.”
I smile, and look in fascination at his fingers gripping his glass. “Right? Because if anyone needs a walking asshole-detector, I’m their girl.”
We smile at each other, and it quickly turns into another heated moment. I blink as try to ignore the need to touch him. If this is how he makes me feel with only eye contact, God help me if he ever puts his hands or mouth on me.
Without permission, I fantasize about him walking over to my side of the table, sinking to his knees in front of me, and pushing up my dress as he spreads my thighs. Across the table, I don’t know if he can tell what I’m thinking, but his expression changes as he stares at me, and the tension between us increases even more.
I’m just getting to the part of my fantasy where he’s pressing his mouth against me, when the spell is broken by my phone buzzing again.
Jesus Christ, I’m going to murder my sister. What’s the damn emergency?
I put down my drink and grab my purse to dampen the sound. Having it vibrating in my lap while I’m trying to act indifferent to the hunk of a man opposite me is not a great idea, but it’s less distracting when it’s muffled by my thighs.
“So,” Kieran says, before clearing his throat. “Taking into account your douche-detecting skills, how do you explain being attracted to me? Am I an asshole, too?”
I study him with narrowed eyes. “I don’t know. Do you have anything you want to tell me? Any deep, dark secrets? Felony convictions? Drug addictions? Jaywalking charges?”
He shakes his head. “I like to keep my owning a few Bieber albums on the down-low during a first date, but that’s about it.”
“Oh, for sure. That’s more of a fourth or even fifth date confession.”
“Exactly.”
When the phone starts again, my frustration fades into worry. If Asha is calling this much, there must be something wrong.
I quickly unclip my purse and try to be subtle as I peek at the screen.
Oh, crap! I have three missed calls from Max. It’s just my luck that he’d call when I wasn’t available.
I look over at Kieran and smile. “Would you excuse me for a minute? I need to visit the ladies’ room.”
“Of course.”
As I stand, he stands, and I wonder how a modern guy even knows to do that. When I glance over my shoulder as I head down the hallway, he’s still watching me. It makes me smile.
Ugh. I’m such a girl right now. I like him so much, there’s no doubt in my mind there’s something wrong with him.