Staring up at a plane flying overhead, I said, “I am going to have to really think about this.”
“Try not to stress yourself out. Life is too short. I’m learning that more and more every day as I see friends dropping dead from heart attacks left and right.” He stood up from the rock and kicked the sand off his feet. “Come on. How about a game of golf?”
Carving the giraffe’s neck wasn’t easy. I followed as closely along as I could while Jelani demonstrated the correct movements of the knife as we sat under the lamplight in his basement. My mind just wasn’t in it today.
After only one night in Florida, I’d flown back just in time for my weekly whittling session at his Brooklyn apartment. While Jelani’s lessons were always a quiet, meditative experience, spending time here also made me feel like I was contributing to society by looking after him.
Jelani never complained, but I knew his cancer treatments were wearing on him. He mostly stayed home aside from setting up shop at the Brooklyn Flea on weekends. He also had very few family members who checked in on him. A nephew took him to his appointments but sometimes had to cancel. I insisted he call me the next time that happened. While he wouldn’t take any money from me, I was prepared to pay for whatever he needed if he’d let me.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
“I have to push through. If I let myself dwell on it, I’ll feel sicker. It’s part of why I ask you to come here. Watching you attempt to carve is like pulling teeth, but it gets my mind off things. The mind has incredible power over the body. Speaking of which, tell me what’s on your mind.”
“You can tell something is on my mind?”
“You’ve whittled the giraffe’s neck so thin, it looks like a pencil. You’re not concentrating today.”
I chuckled. “You got me.”
“So, tell me. What is it? Does it have to do with the Greek goddess?”
“How did you know?”
“Wild guess. Tell me the problem.”
I spent the next several minutes summing up my Florida trip, explaining the discovery about my father and Eleni.
“So, now my father has me second-guessing whether telling Bianca the truth in this case is a good idea or not. He did have a point. Why put her through that pain if no one stands to gain anything?”
Jelani shook his head. “Your father is wrong. Here’s why.” He took the giraffe from me then proceeded to walk over to a tool bench and grabbed a small saw. “This is you right now,” he said, displaying the pathetic animal. He then sliced the neck off slowly until the giraffe’s head and neck fell to the ground.
What the?
“Why did you do that?”
“I’m putting him out of his misery. You couldn’t even concentrate today because this secret you are keeping has already begun to fester. It’s eating away at you faster than his neck was disappearing. Secrets and lies will always slowly do that until they eventually come out.”
“Like the head falling off,” I said.
He nodded. “Yes. There is never a reason to hide the truth about anything. The truth shall set you free. Ever hear that?”
“Yeah.”
“You can’t risk Bianca finding out you knew about this. Even if you don’t tell her, you have very honest eyes, Dex. She’ll be able to read you. And then that will be the end of you. You’ve already lied once. There is no second chance here. It’s not worth the risk. Never mind what your father said. From what you say, he’s a serial liar. It’s in his nature. Just tell her the goddamn truth, and don’t come back here to whittle unless your mind is with you.” He handed me a fresh piece of wood to start on a new giraffe. “Now, focus.”
I took it. “Yes, sir.”
Sometimes, the truth was hard to hear, but I appreciated the harsh reality check more than he knew.
Later that afternoon, I still wasn’t completely sure about what to do.
Bandit was ecstatic to see me. I’d picked him up from the high-end doggy day care, and we were both heading over to Bianca’s.
Needing to talk it out in order to make a decision fast, I rubbed his head as I spoke to him in the backseat of the Town Car.
“Okay, so my father says I’d be creating a mess by bringing up the past now, but Jelani thinks I’d be a fool to hide anything from Bianca at this point. You know, if you could talk, that would be really helpful. A third trusted opinion would be most appreciated right about now.”
“Ruff!”
I knew what I wanted to do, what my gut told me to do.
“If you bark one more time, Bandit, I swear…I’m just going to have to tell her the truth.”
“Ruff!”
“Alright. If this blows up in my face, I’m gonna blame you.”
I’d made up my mind; I was going to tell her tonight.
A small, wooden giraffe was staring me in the face as I opened the door.
“You’re getting better,” I said, taking the figurine.
“You think?”
“I’m going to have to clear some shelf space for all of them.” Bandit had bolted past me into my apartment. “He didn’t even give me a chance to greet him.” I said, watching the dog run into my bedroom.
“Is he okay to go in there?”
“It’s fine.” I smiled, looking the gorgeous man in front of me up and down.
Dex was dressed casually in a pair of khakis and a white Polo. The shirt fit him like a glove. It was really hard not to slip my hands underneath the fabric and rub them along his muscles. His chunky watch completed the look—millionaire casual. Taking in a deep breath of his cologne, it really hit me how much I’d missed him. I could only imagine those women down in Florida ogling him.
“You definitely look like someone who just came back from Palm Beach.”
“I didn’t have time to change. I landed, headed to Jelani’s, picked up Bandit, then came straight here.”
It was really great to see him, but Dex seemed off; I wasn’t sure why. He definitely appeared preoccupied with something. I couldn’t help feeling a little self-conscious, because he hadn’t even hugged or kissed me yet. My body ached to touch him, but my pride kept me from making a move.
“Is everything alright?” I asked.
Scratching the scruff on his chin, he said, “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
My heart sank.
Right after he’d said it, the doorbell rang.
“Shit,” I said.
“Are you expecting someone?”
“Yes.”
“Who?”
“It’s my father.”
Dex looked panicked. “Your father?”
“Yes. I wasn’t sure if you were stopping by. He’s having dinner here.”
“You haven’t told him about me, have you?”
“No.”
“What about your mother? Did you tell her yet?”
“No. I haven’t gotten around to it yet.” I walked toward the door. “I’d better let him in.”
As I was about to open up for my dad, Dex whispered behind me, “Bianca, do not tell him my identity, okay?”