“Every second of our interview, you were with the real me.”
“And I preferred you, Dex. I preferred those intimate moments chatting with the real you more than anything. You ruined what could have been a good thing by bringing this alter ego into it.”
“I had no way of knowing that you and I would connect so well. You seemed very closed-minded in that elevator. At the time, I didn’t see how I could break through that.”
“Well, I didn’t know I was talking shit to your face. I might not have been so blunt.”
“And that’s why the whole thing was very telling. Those were your true feelings—at the time.” Dex stood up and approached me. “Look…there is no real excuse to justify what I did. I don’t even expect forgiveness. Blame me forever for it. But do it to my face. Be with me. Yell at me. Scream at me. Be angry with me…but be with me.”
With his face close to mine, I could feel my legs weaken and my nipples harden. I’d always been attracted to him, but knowing that this face and body belonged to the person who’d also owned my mind and heart for so long was almost too much to bear. I hated how badly I still wanted him.
His eyes were penetrating. I had to look away.
“How can you think I would ever be able to trust you not to lie to me again?” I asked.
“It’s a chance you’d be taking. It doesn’t matter how many times I promise, I know you won’t believe in me right now. I have to earn your trust, and that only comes with time. You have to decide if you want to explore things with me enough to take the risk.”
His phone buzzed, and he chose to ignore it.
“Who’s that?”
“I don’t care,” he said dismissively.
“If you have nothing to hide, show me.”
Without hesitation, he handed me the phone.
The jealousy monster took hold of me when I caught sight of four messages from the same person.
Caroline: Why haven’t you been answering my texts?
Caroline: I’m starting to get a complex.
Caroline: I miss your beautiful cock inside of me.
Caroline: Call me or I’m coming over there tonight.
Burning up, I handed it back to him. “Caroline. This is your fuck buddy?”
“I believe I’ve already divulged to you in our conversations that I’ve had casual relationships with women.”
“Why haven’t you been calling her?”
Dex leaned in and spoke over my lips. “Isn’t it obvious?”
As mad as I was at him, I couldn’t stomach the thought of him going to be with another woman tonight. For the first time, I moved from my spot, making my way over to the window.
He followed me. “Bianca, I haven’t been with anyone since the day you asked me to rub your balls in that elevator. You have completely consumed me, and I’m scared shitless that I’m gonna lose you because of one asinine decision that I made before I even really knew you.”
“It was a pretty major bad decision, Dex. I just don’t know. I need some time to just absorb this.” Feeling suddenly emotional, I said, “Do you understand that I cared for that other person you portrayed? He was a part of my life, and he just…disappeared. I will never see Jay again. It’s a strange feeling, and it’s almost as if I still believe he actually exists.”
“I understand. I loved the way you looked at him. Being Jay was the only way I could experience that. I’d give my right arm to get one ounce of that back right now.”
My thoughts turned to the sweet greyhound I’d seen him take home. “Why did you adopt the dog? Was that a sick part of the joke, too?”
His eyes widened. “How did you know that?”
“That was how I found out about you. I saw you leaving with him. Went to the shelter and verified the name of the person who adopted him.”
Dex scratched his chin and nodded in understanding. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“So…are you using him, too?”
“I started volunteering there in the hopes of learning more about what you love. I knew that once I came clean to you, I was going to need all the help I could get. But soon after, I actually bonded with Bandit. It made me feel closer to you, but honestly, I fell for him pretty hard. The adoption happened because they were going to send him to some farm upstate. I worried for his safety, despite their assurances. I decided to take him home.”
“So, he’s living with you now…”
“Yes. He’s mine. He’s my dog.”
“Well, that was very good of you.”
“The pleasure has been mine, actually—aside from his breath. I need to do something about that.”
I couldn’t help but crack a smile. Closing my eyes for a moment, I said, “I found these special treats. They help. I’ll message you the name.”
“I’d like that.” Dex smiled, and it was a reminder that I really needed to distance myself tonight before I fell deep into the trap of his charm.
“I need to go home. This has been too much for one night.”
“Come home with me, Bianca. I promise I’ll make this right.”
“I can’t do that.”
“At least let me drive you home, then.”
I hesitated then said, “Okay. But take me straight there. No detours.”
Riding in Dex’s luxurious car felt strange. It was a reminder of just how different this man’s life was compared to that of his defunct alter ego. You could practically smell the money mixed in with the scent of leather. Dex wouldn’t take his eyes off me, but he kept his distance. The weight of his stare alone made my entire body tingle. I was aching to be touched despite my anger.
I broke the ice. “So, what are your plans after this? Going to Caroline’s to give her your ‘beautiful cock’?”
He smiled impishly at my question. “Would that upset you?”
“I don’t have any say in what you do.”
“That’s not what I asked. I asked if it would upset you.”
“What do you think?”
“I think the fact that your face is flushed right now proves that the thought of me fucking another woman does upset you, regardless of whether you admit it or not.” He reached over and placed his hand on my knee. The firm touch made the muscles between my legs pulsate. “I won’t be going to see Caroline tonight, Bianca. I’ll be going home to my house and curling up under my sheets with a four-legged beast who seems to think my bed is his. I will be praying to God that you find it in your heart to forgive me. And I’ll wake up tomorrow morning, seizing the new day and trying like hell to get you to give me a second chance.”
When we arrived at my place, Dex came around to let me out. He softly caressed my cheek as I just stood there. I closed my eyes and tried to let it all sink in.
Damn you, Dex. I just don’t know if I can ever fully trust you.
Even though I wanted to say so much, the night had depleted my energy. I simply said, “Give me some time.”
“Okay,” he whispered.
As I headed toward my door, a thought occurred to me, prompting me to turn around.
“Do you even really whittle?”
He looked down briefly at his feet then up at me. “I tried. Those cuts were real.”
I shook my head.