Mister Moneybags

“Everything’s decent,” I said, returning to the living room. “Last door straight ahead down the hall.”


With every second that she was in the bathroom, I became more and more paranoid about being in this place, about what else she might find. I remembered she mentioned coffee. Considering the cupboards were likely empty, I made a decision to get us the hell out of here. We’d passed a Starbucks around the corner on the way in. I’d suggest we go there.

When she emerged, I said, “I just remembered I’m all out of coffee. How about we head out for some before I have to take you home?”

“Okay…that would be nice. By the way, why does it smell like mothballs in this place?”

That’s a great question, Bianca George.

“I had to use them. Major moth problem.”

I fucking hated this. I would have wanted nothing more than to spend time with her in my real apartment. The next time I ever brought her back to this place, I would make sure it was inspected from top to bottom, fumigated, and stocked full of her favorite things.

Once at the coffee shop, we nestled into a corner couch and sipped our cappuccinos. She would be mid-conversation and I’d interrupt her by eating her words with a kiss. Each time I did, she’d let out a sound. I loved the feeling of her moans vibrating down my throat.

When ten-thirty rolled around, she looked at her phone. “I really have to go.”

“You can’t be a little late for your meeting with Mister Moneybags?”

“No. It’s unprofessional.”

To be honest, it irked me a little that she chose not to cancel on Dex. I actually had to remind myself that we were rooting for Dex. And by we, I meant Jay and Dex. Me. Deep down, we were both rooting for Dex. So, why was Jay fucking pissed?

I reluctantly dropped her off at her apartment before speeding back to my actual residence.

Once home, I needed to calm down before transforming back into myself. I noticed she was online and sent her a quick message.



Dex: Running a bit late. Give me ten minutes.



Without waiting for a response, I retreated to the shower and rubbed one out to the memories of her moaning into my mouth, imagining that we were doing a lot more than just kissing.





My release had brought me a moment of clarity.

Dex needs to win Bianca over from Jay.

As fucked-up as that sounded, if she liked real me more than the fake me, it gave me a better shot at her accepting that real me was worth looking past all the lies I’d told. Maybe I was fucking delusional in addition to being newly schizophrenic. But at this point, it was the only plan I had. I needed to at least start to feel her out.



Dex: Hello, Bianca. I’m here now. Sorry about the delay. How has your evening been?



Bianca: It was very good, thank you.



Dex: What did you do?



Bianca: I had a date, actually.



Dex: A date that ended before eleven? Couldn’t have been very good.



Bianca: My work takes priority.

Dex: I still maintain that it could have been better if you chose not to blow me off.



Bianca: It was amazing, actually.



It was amazing. I could still taste her on my tongue. And there were still so many more places I wanted to taste her.



Bianca: Are you there?



Dex: Yes. Tell me about your date. What was so amazing about it?



Bianca: Well, you know how with most people, you spend a little time with them and the puzzle pieces fall into place? You sort of get the full picture after you connect a few of the odd shapes?



Dex: I suppose.



Bianca: I feel like this guy is a ten-thousand-piece puzzle, and it’s going to take a long time to see the picture.



Dex: And that’s a good thing?



Bianca: It is. It means he has many layers.



I wasn’t sure I agreed with her. The thing she liked best about Jay was his layers—but most of them were bandages to cover lies.



Dex: Tell me what you liked best about him?



Bianca: You want the truth?



Dex: Of course.



Bianca: The way he kissed me. I could feel he was trying to hold back—but at some point, he lost the battle. I liked that his attraction to me seemed to be uncontrollable. It made me feel sexy.



I had to laugh to myself. I’d thought I was doing such a great job hiding what being around her did to me. I guess I was way more transparent than I thought.



Bianca: BTW, I think we have our roles reversed tonight. I’m the one who is supposed to be interviewing you.



Dex: I find hearing about you way more interesting than telling you about myself.



She was quiet for a minute or two after that. I knew I shouldn’t be pushing, but what the fuck—I was in this deep.



Dex: Are you and this jigsaw dating exclusively?



Bianca: No. We’re not there yet. I don’t have any dates with other men planned, but that’s not intentional.



Dex: So, if say, a handsome, young, wealthy man with a six pack were to ask you out on a date, you’d be open to the invitation, then?



Bianca: Are you referring to yourself?



Dex: Maybe…



I waited eagerly for her response. When it came, my stomach sank.



Bianca: Then, no.



My mood sucked after that answer. I was pissed and just wanted to get the rest of our chat over with. She had no interest in the real me and would rather spend time getting to know a man who lived in his dead aunt’s apartment and whittled.



Dex: Why don’t we get started with your interview?



For the next thirty minutes, Bianca asked me questions. Since I was feeling ornery, my answers were less candid than I’d been the last two times we’d chatted. Toward the end, she mentioned she was going to be away on a business trip and planned to use the time to go through her notes and write up a draft of her story. She’d suggested we chat next week so that she could fill in any holes in her story, and I’d agreed.



Dex: How about next Tuesday at our regular time?



Bianca: That would be great.



Dex: Have a safe trip, Bianca.



Bianca: Thank you.



Feeling utterly deflated, I was just about to shut my laptop when another message popped up from her.



Bianca: Dex? Are you still there?



Dex: I am.



Bianca: For the record, I have a firm rule that I don’t date men anymore whom I have a business relationship with.



Dex: Does that rule apply after your business with a man concludes?



She took a bit longer to respond that time.



Bianca: No. I don’t think that rule would apply once my business was concluded.



Fuck you, Jay. Game back on.



Dex: Good to know. Sweet dreams, Bianca.



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