“Children are the clan’s future. Neglect them and you neglect the heart of your clan.” Fallon’s brows lowered, and his expression darkened. “Anybody who could abuse a child of their clan is not someone I want among my people. They will be dealt with in the way I deal with all of my enemies.”
Death. And probably not a very nice death at that. She still had nightmares sometimes about the manner in which Fallon had put his brother to death. It was a slow, torturous, way to go. She sometimes heard the pleading and sobbing in unguarded moments. His death had been justifiable, given he’d tried to have Fallon killed several times. That didn’t mean she rejoiced in it.
Shea tapped the fingertips of one hand against the table as she delayed the next thing she wanted to ask.
“I did not need you to protect me from my council,” Fallon said, bringing up the topic Shea dreaded.
She jerked one shoulder up in a shrug. “I told the truth.”
“The truth is a weapon best wielded carefully.”
She cocked her head. “The truth is the truth. It doesn’t change.”
He arched an eyebrow as his lips quirked. “Doesn’t it?”
“What do you mean?”
His face was thoughtful as he considered his next words. “When you are leading an expedition, how do you make your decision on what course to take?”
“I consult any maps I might have of the area. If it’s a route I’m familiar with, I take into account what beasts may be close, the physical capabilities of those with me and the likely obstacles we will encounter on any given path.”
“How much of that do you share with those you lead?”
She saw his point. The answer was very little. Some because they wouldn’t care, but mostly because she didn’t trust those type of decisions to committee. She’d always operated under the assumption that what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them. They couldn’t argue with her if she just gave them the answer she thought best.
She thought a moment and then conceded, well they could, but it was a lot easier to ignore them or get them to do what she wanted, if she didn’t explain how she had arrived at that conclusion.
She frowned at Fallon. “That situation is different. I didn’t trust the ones I led to make the right decisions or to keep themselves alive. Your council should be different.”
Right?
“Why? Because they’re Trateri?” His smile was humorless. “Or is it because you think clan leaders should be above such things. I trust them as much I would a viper at my throat. Perhaps less. They are my allies because it serves their needs, but make no mistake, they would turn on me in a moment if it served their purposes and they thought they could survive.”
“I thought you trusted Darius and Braden.”
He nodded. “They are among the few. I consider them brothers.” An echo of pain entered his expression. “Perhaps more so than my actual blood. I can trust that they and my Anateri are unlikely to betray me.”
Her gaze sharpened. That sounded like he allowed for the possibility for anyone to have the potential of betrayal. That was a distressing thought. Did he feel the same about her? Was he waiting for her to turn against him? She didn’t know if she could live her life constantly having to prove her love and loyalty.
“Your army is loyal to you.”
He nodded. “Yes, and many of the clans as well. The difference is they love a legend—the Hawkvale, the warlord to unite all of the clans under one banner. It is both harder and easier to lose their trust and loyalty.”
She understood what he meant. An idea was both easier and harder to discredit. It was ephemeral, something intangible. As Shea had discovered when she was a scout, everyone had a story about the Hawkvale. He was this larger than life character that they only knew by what they’d heard.
It would only take a few well-placed rumors and whispers to get the ball rolling. If Fallon’s actions then fed into that rumor, it wouldn’t be long before the morale in his army turned nasty. For instance, if the loyalty of his Telroi was called into question, his men might not be so willing to back him against the clan leaders.
She looked down at the table, drawing a pattern against the wood as she pondered his words.
His hand touched hers. “Our enemies are numerous, and they are looking for a chink in our defenses. They are hungry for blood. To everyone else, we are partners, united against all comers.”
On the surface, she believed his words wholeheartedly, but there was an undercurrent to them that left her feeling their time together was running short. She covered his hand with her own and leaned into him, resting her forehead on his bicep.
How was she going to balance the two forces in her life without losing sight of who she was and the promises she’d made?
His other hand cupped the back of her head. He smoothed her hair before touching his lips to her ear.
He tugged on her, scooping her up and dragging her into his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him, setting her chin on his shoulder.
“You know they’re going to try to kill you,” she said softly into his ear. She wasn’t talking about his council.
His arms tightened around her for a brief moment. “They may try, but better men than them have failed.”
She sighed and pressed her face into the side of his neck.
“They’ll seek to divide us. They’ll strike while we’re not looking.”
“They will not be successful.”
She wanted to believe him. She really did. She just didn’t know if she could. He didn’t understand her people like she did.
“This is not a good idea.”
“You said it yourself. There is something wrong. We must do everything we can to find that problem and destroy it.” He moved a piece of hair away from her face. His thumb ran up and down the side of her neck in a caress that sent shivers coursing through Shea’s body. She leaned into his touch. “Besides, wasn’t it you who advocated for going up there to see what was happening?”
She pulled back, her eyes snapping fire at him. “I’d planned to go by myself, and you damn well know it.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “How is that less dangerous than what I have planned? At least I will be taking an army to protect my back.”
She rolled her eyes. “More like present a nice big target. I could have slipped in and out before anyone was the wiser. You can’t kill what you don’t even know is there.”
“Now who’s cocky?”
She gave him a sharp grin. “It’s not arrogance if it’s true.”
His smile when it came was dark and wicked and hinted of things done in the dark. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. She met the fury of his passion with a storm of her own.
There was a small giggle from the ground.
Shea and Fallon pulled apart, looking at each other with equally surprised looks. They turned in unison to find an imp with a mass of blond curls and blue eyes staring up at them in innocence.
“I forgot she was here,” Fallon said in bemusement.
The statement struck Shea as funny and she buried her face in his neck as she shook with laughter.
His chest rumbled as he chuckled. He leaned back to stare at the ceiling. “We’ll have to figure out other living arrangements for her tomorrow. She can’t stay in our room at night.”