At the last second before she reaches me, she averts her gaze and winks at Dallas before turning to stand on the other side of the altar.
I thought seeing her yesterday was tough, but this is a wrecking ball to my chest. She isn’t a girl anymore, isn’t my girl. She’s a grown woman who owns me whether she wants to or not.
I release the breath I was holding captive and take in fresh air so I don’t pass out. Her wildflower and vanilla scent wafts toward me and it’s a struggle not to toss her over my shoulder and carry her out of here.
The other two bridesmaids come down the aisle escorted by Levi and Alex and I can’t help but wonder why Dallas would choose me as his best man. Maybe because he’s known me the longest, but in all of my twenty-two years, I don’t think I’ve ever been the best man at anything. Except maybe the drums. God, I need my drums.
I haven’t been with anyone in months and the sexual frustration and proximity to Dixie Lark, the last woman I’ve laid a hand on and the only one I wasn’t supposed to, are about to do me in.
Just before I completely lose my waning grip on my sanity, a piano begins to play and Robyn makes her grand entrance. Dallas pales and then smiles so wide he looks like he’s about to burst a blood vessel at the sight of her.
Robyn’s always been attractive but today she literally seems to be glowing, radiating a light all around her that’s almost too intense to stare directly at. Her smile matches Dallas’s and my throat constricts.
A chill hits me hard when Dixie’s voice fills the air around us. I’m not the only one in shock as she uses her sultry sweet voice to sing “Marry Me,” a Train song I never paid much attention to. Dallas and Dixie were apparently in on this one together. Dallas is practically vibrating with emotion and I pull my eyes from Dixie’s surprise performance at the piano to where the bride and groom are now lost in their own world, in which the rest of us do not exist.
This is Dallas’s first priority now, not the band. Without him playing drill sergeant, I don’t know if Leaving Amarillo will stand a chance. But I can see in his face that it doesn’t matter; any sacrifice he has to make for this woman will be worth it.
When Dixie finishes, she takes her place across the altar and I can’t tear my stare from her. Her sapphire eyes shine like diamonds with the promise of tears.
I wish I could give you this.
Right as I’m about to look away, her gaze collides with mine. My heart swells in my chest. I have so much to say and no words to say it.
I’m sorry.
I’m trying.
I love you.
She doesn’t even flinch at the turmoil I know is probably apparent on my face. She just gives me a confident smile and a knowing look as if to say, One day.
One day that will be us.
A future.
A forever.
I fucking hope so.
I just have no clue how we’ll ever manage to get there.
5 | Dixie
I GOT THIS.
Right up until I had to be this close to him. Seeing him across the altar was hard; seeing what my impossibly hopeless heart thought was a wistful look in his eyes nearly broke me.
Now I’m sweating, nervous, and my heart is threatening to make a break for it straight out of my chest for all to see.
I so do not got this.
“Smile,” Robyn says quietly to me after the third flash of the camera. “I love you, babe. And you nailed the song and made my wedding the most special day of my life. But you’re making my wedding photos look like mug shots.”
“Sorry,” I mumble under my breath.
I switch the small bouquet of calla lilies I’m holding to my other hand and tuck a wayward curl behind my ear.
I can feel him watching me—he has been since I first made my way down the aisle. He held his breath for a full minute when we had to stand beside each other for pictures and now I’m holding mine.