33 | Dixie
I FEEL LIKE I’ve spent ten years in this courtroom. I’ve given my lengthy statement, Dallas and Robyn have both testified on my behalf, the lady from social services and Sheila Montgomery detailed their experience with Liam, and even Mrs. Lawson showed up to speak her piece. Just when I think the judge is going to shut it down so he can deliberate in his chambers, Ashley stands up and makes an announcement.
“We have one more statement to be read, Your Honor,” she interrupts before the judge can complete his “if there are no further statements” sentence. “My client would like to be heard on this matter as he is from a similar background as the child in question.”
The judge nods and I watch Gavin stand and take his place at the podium. I don’t know what he has planned and I’m nervous for him. A steady tremor hums through me as he begins to address the court.
“Thank you,” Gavin says in greeting, “for allowing me to address the court today in the matter of Liam’s custody hearing.” He clears his throat and I feel like my heart is going to leap out of my chest.
“While it may seem odd for me to speak before the court today, I would like a chance to explain why I feel compelled to do so.”
Smart Gavin is blowing my mind right now. I’ve never heard him speak so eloquently and articulately. Just when I think I can’t be any more in love with him than I already am, he goes and proves me wrong.
“As you know, I have made mistakes in the past that have placed me on the wrong side of the law. I won’t deny that on paper, Dixie and I might not look like the best option when it comes to guardians for Liam. However, Dixie Lark is the kindest, most compassionate human being I have the privilege to know. And as for me, I was raised in the kind of home Liam has known for the duration of his childhood. My mother was a heroin addict—rather, she is a heroin addict—and moreover, she was an abuse victim and sixteen when she got pregnant with me. There was no support, no guidance, and no one around to oversee my safety and well-being.” He pauses to take a breath and I wipe my sweaty palms on my skirt. I am so with him in this moment I might as well climb right inside his body. “That being said, I learned at an early age that drawing attention to the shortcomings of my living situation would only result in a tumultuous upheaval of what tiny bit of security I knew. Removal from my home and police officers and scary people in suits and then a drive to a new home, which often was just as unstable and frequently terrifying.”
The entire courtroom is captivated as he continues.
“The system is far from perfect, Your Honor. I think we can agree on that. But that is not the point I am up here to make. My point is, the world looks different through the eyes of a child. And when you grow up in the type of environment that Liam and I have, you develop a certain type of survival mode. You don’t think about toys or trucks or cake or playing games. You think about surviving and about getting through that day. Hiding from the dealer that kicks you when he comes over to see mom or dad, avoiding an outraged boyfriend or friend when they’re in a drug-induced rage, and scrounging up enough foodlike substances to keep from passing out at school because that’s when they call the bad people to come take you somewhere even scarier.”