“This one may scar,” he muttered, when he reached the last of them, this one right above my left hip.
The relief I felt having the object removed overshadowed any talk of scars. But I reached back all the same. Sherlock stopped my fingers before I could touch the spot.
“I just cleaned that.”
A scar. And I’d be able to reach it once it healed over. “What’s its shape?”
Sherlock didn’t answer at first. He covered the area with a square of gauze and taped it in place. He rested his hand just below the bandage. His fingers curled around my side. “I’m telling you your wound might permanently scar, and you want to know the shape?”
He brushed his thumb lightly over the top of the bandage and I shivered.
“It’ll be my memento of this night.” I turned slowly until I was facing him, and suddenly I felt shy. Maybe it was the affection I saw in Lock that his concentration couldn’t mask. Or possibly the affection I felt for him, compounded by our closeness. He glanced down at my lips briefly.
“You want to remember tonight?” He moved so close that my vision blurred trying to take in his whole face.
“I want to remember every night I’ve spent with you.” And tonight will be our last. I wanted to say the words aloud, but I didn’t need to. His eyes were so sad. He knew the truth already. When he retreated from me, I felt the pain of it so acutely, I brought a hand up to my chest.
He cleared his throat and said, “One last thing and I’m done. It may hurt.”
I nodded, thinking it couldn’t possibly hurt more than the twisting and tugging I’d already endured. But when he cascaded antiseptic down my back, I couldn’t keep from crying out. After the initial sting, everything started to throb, but by the time he’d closed all the larger wounds with butterfly bandages and covered the lot in gauze and plasters, the stinging had mostly subsided.
When I stood, my entire body ached. I had to rely on Sherlock to help me to the bed, and then I didn’t even have the strength to put my clothes back on. I pulled my towel tight around me and got under the covers. He didn’t turn off the light or say anything else. He just crawled onto the bed next to me.
After a bit, he reached up to push some hair back from my forehead and said, “I’m ready to hear who did this to you now.”
I shook my head. “I can’t tell you.”
“I didn’t expect you would.”
“Thank you,” I said, and I could hear a trembling in my voice. “I’m sorry.”
He traced the scratch on my cheek with his thumb. “No need.” He leaned forward to kiss my forehead, then held me close to him. And being able to hide my face against his shoulder let me say all the things that were tripping around my mind just then.
“You can’t help me anymore after this,” I said. “I need you to stop trying. I can’t keep fighting you off. I don’t have the will.”
“Shhhh. Just rest right now. We’ll talk about all that later.”
It couldn’t have been much past three or four in the afternoon, but sleep sounded like the very best idea, so I let myself fall into it. “Later,” he’d said. Yes. Everything I needed to say could wait until then.
Chapter 29
I woke up to sunlight streaming onto my face and my mobile buzzing. I still had my eyes closed when I answered.
“Where are you?” It was, of course, Alice.
I cleared my throat. “I’m safe,” I lied. I probably wouldn’t ever be safe again.
“Where? I need to know.”
“I’m at Sherlock’s.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
My heart sank. I looked around the room, but there wasn’t any sign of Sherlock. There was a note on the little desk by the door, however.
“I’m at a hotel. It’s not like I could go back home.”
Alice sighed. “You can. I had the place cleaned out.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the woman and the vandalism. It’s all been taken care of, so go home.”
“What does that mean, ‘taken care of’?”
Alice was quiet for a long time, but I wasn’t going to give her an out, so I waited. “Please go home. I can’t protect you when I don’t know where you are.”
“I don’t need you to protect me,” I said. “You just focus on protecting the boys.”
“Do you remember last time, when you asked what I would do if your father came for us and we needed real muscle to keep us safe?”
I paused, then said, “Yes.”
“I made that call. But it’s all for nothing if I don’t know where you are. So tell me or go home where I can find you.”
I thought about it. Alice had managed to protect me all this time with her contacts. She was just doing it again. I should’ve been grateful. But something about her voice made me think that this time it would come with a cost. “I’ll think about it.”
Alice cursed and then lowered her voice. “Think fast. Your dad’s getting out day after tomorrow, and—”
“I know he is. That’s why I’m here and not there. That’s why I don’t want you to know where I am. That’s also why I don’t need your protection.”