Million Love Songs

‘Fairy wings!’ one shouts and grabs a pair, twirling round. Another girl fastens them onto the back of her T-shirt for her and then they both squeal with excitement. Suddenly, they all want them and there’s a frenzy of wing fixing.

‘Tiaras!’ a shout goes up and is greeted by giggles of glee. The girls all try them on for size and dance around in a circle together. Only Daisy is still frozen to the spot, outside of the group. My heart is in my mouth, yet perhaps I’m not the one who read this wrong.

I sidle over to Daisy. ‘It’s your party,’ I say softly to her, trying to sound encouraging, ‘and it looks as if it’s a hit with your friends. You should join in for their sake. What do you say?’

She looks up at me, clearly wondering why she’s so out of step with her chums.

‘Can I get you a strawberry mocktail?’

She nods, mutely. I hand her a jam jar of milkshake and she swallows it down. Then I give them to the rest of the girls and dish out the cupcakes too. More delighted squealing.

I turn the music up and the girls start dancing. Daisy stands, staring at her guests as if she doesn’t know them.

I try her with my box of goodies, whispering, ‘There’s a set of wings and a tiara for you too. Special ones.’

She looks down at them and there are tears in her eyes. ‘Really?’

‘Want me to pin the wings on?’

‘Yes, please.’ She takes off her new biker jacket and lays it carefully on a log before turning her back to me. Gently, I pin on the fairy wings.

‘Gorgeous,’ I tell her. ‘Plus there’s the biggest, sparkliest tiara for the birthday girl.’ I slip it onto her head and straighten it.

‘I wish we had a mirror,’ she says, touching her crown.

‘Take a selfie.’

So she pulls out her phone and, instantly, her friends crowd round to pose and pout.

‘You look sooooo cool,’ one of them says.

Daisy adjusts her tiara and starts to laugh. Soon they’re all so giddy you’d think there was neat vodka in their drinks. Actually, that might not have been a bad idea. Joking! No need to call Social Services.

I let out a breath. The first one in about fifteen minutes. Now the girls don’t even need me here. They’re more than happy entertaining themselves.

‘This so totally wonderful, Daisy,’ I hear one of the girls say and my heart could burst with happiness. Who knew that the approval of teenage girls could feel so good, so gratifying and be so hard won? I’m so pleased to see that they’re happy dancing, singing, pouting, taking enough pictures to drown social media.

It’s going to be OK, I think, and get a rush of relief. It’s going to be OK.





Chapter Sixty-Six





The mums come back and collect their daughters and friends. They all seem to have had a lovely time. I just want to lie down in a dark room and recover. Maybe drink heavily too. They all get pink glittery goody bags with hand-knitted unicorns in them that I found on Etsy. Even the most sophisticated of the girls are beyond delighted and this has restored my faith in unicorns. They go home completely hyperactive and floating on air. We should all have a little more magic in our lives, whether you’re thirteen or thirty-eight. I think next time I’m sitting watching telly by myself on a Saturday night, I’m going to put a tiara on and see if it makes me feel better.

Despite being exhausted – emotionally and physically – I’m mostly relieved that it all turned out all right in the end. I snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. Go me! And it was great to see Daisy having a good time. I hope it’s a birthday that she’ll remember for a long time.

A few minutes later, Joe comes back to collect Daisy. My magical glade is totally trashed and looks like the aftermath of Glastonbury. There’s stuff everywhere. It’s going to take me an age to clear up, but I’ve got a few hours before my shift at work.

‘Did it go OK?’ he enquires anxiously.

‘You’d better ask Daisy,’ I suggest.

She meets my eye when she says, gratefully, ‘It was the best party ever, Daddy.’

‘Good.’ Joe looks relieved too. We exchange a loaded glance. Mission accomplished. He gives me a slow wink. I hope Daisy doesn’t notice. Although this was set up with an ulterior motive, I’m really pleased to have been able to do it for her. ‘Thanks, Ruby. I really appreciate it.’ We both know how much was riding on this. ‘I’ll help you to tidy up.’

‘No need,’ I say. ‘You take the birthday girl home. I’ll speak to you later.’

‘If you’re sure.’

I nod. ‘I can manage.’ I want them both to leave thinking that I’m an utter saint. Besides, Daisy still seems to be floating on a happy cloud and I don’t want to spoil that for her by making her fill bin bags with rubbish.

So Joe takes Daisy’s hand and I watch as they walk away through the trees. Then, after a moment, she turns back and runs down the path towards me.

To my surprise, she grabs me and holds me in a tight hug. ‘Thank you, Ruby,’ Daisy says and kisses my cheek without prompting. Then she races to catch up with her dad once more.

I resist doing the air punch that’s inside me in case she sees. But it’s there, nevertheless.





Chapter Sixty-Seven





Mason turns up halfway through my shift. He catches my wrist as I pass the bar and gives me a puzzled look. ‘Why are you looking so pleased with yourself, Brown? I’ve never seen a more smug smile. What’s going on?’

‘I’m happy,’ I tell him.

‘Excellent. Let’s celebrate at my club afterwards.’

‘No thanks.’

He pouts. ‘Then we can go back to my place and have sensationally sordid sex.’

‘No thanks.’

‘Don’t you even want to think about it?’

‘No thanks.’

‘You ran out on me the other week after the launch party with no explanation.’

‘I know. Sorry about that.’

He puffs out an exasperated breath. ‘Playing hard to get is pointless when you get to a certain age.’

‘I’ll remember that.’

Mason stomps off.

So I serve polenta and couscous and other posh grub to my customers and am ridiculously busy until closing time and, by then, Mason has gone.





Chapter Sixty-Eight





Flushed with success from Daisy’s hit party, Joe and I try a family film night at his house. One of their favourites, Despicable Me. It’s one that I haven’t seen as I normally go for chick-flicks or anything with Ryan Gosling in it. Or, preferably, a chick-flick with Ryan Gosling in it.

We sit on the sofa in a cosy line, snuggled under blankets, hugging huge bowls of popcorn and unfeasibly large bottles of fizzy drink.

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