‘Don’t go overboard with praise,’ Charlie quips.
‘You know what I mean. I think he could become a friend if nothing else. He’s nice to be with. And, while he’s not romance-appropriate, he seems like a good instructor. So I’m going to give scuba-diving another go.’
‘Foolish woman.’
I grimace and try not to think how panic-stricken I was on my first lesson. Confidence will come in time, I’m sure. I just need to try to stick with it. I’m not a good sticker. I have a history of flitting about from thing to thing. Maybe I’ve just never found my niche before.
‘There’s a day out to a dive place coming up which I’ve been invited to. I’ve checked my shifts and that’s my weekend off. I don’t know if it’s my thing though.’
‘I guess you never know until you try it.’
‘The same could be said of many things,’ I point out.
‘Go. There might be some other hot stuff single dive bloke without kids that you haven’t met yet. If you’ve nothing else on that day, what have you got to lose?’
‘True.’ Plus it means I can put off painting the granny annexe for yet another week.
‘So the scuba-diving lesson wasn’t a complete waste of time?’
‘Far from it. I’m prepared to admit that I didn’t exactly enjoy the whole diving thing while it was actually happening, but I felt exhilarated afterwards.’
‘You could be talking about the last time I had no-strings-attached sex.’
We find a filthy guffaw for that.
‘Speaking of no-strings sex,’ Charlie continues. ‘How did you get on with Shagger?’
Ah, moment of truth. ‘I quite liked him,’ I confess, wincing as I wait for the backlash.
Charlie looks at me aghast. ‘Awh, come on! He’s a complete sleazeball. What’s wrong with you, woman?’
‘Sorry.’ I cringe a bit more. ‘He’s a smoothie, no doubt. But he can rock a sharp suit and he has a certain charm too.’ Charlie rolls her eyes at my obvious lack of taste. ‘I know, I know. Maybe I’m on heat or something. Is it a full moon? I’ve had my head turned by two men in the last couple of days. That usually doesn’t happen in a couple of years.’
‘I don’t want you going anywhere near Shagger. Seriously. He’s had every gullible woman that’s come through this place.’
‘Including you?’ I tease.
‘I said gullible,’ she stresses. ‘I’m totally immune to Shagger’s charms. I only have eyes for Gary. You know that. It’s you I’m worried about.’
‘I’ve met men like him before, Charlie.’ I feel slightly piqued that she thinks I’d be so easily fooled by a bit of flattery. ‘Many, many times. I’m a woman of the world. I know how to handle him.’
‘Yeah, so did the last assistant manager. Yet she was on that bar with her knickers round her ankles before you could say “inappropriate”.’
‘Oh my God. How do you know?’
‘CCTV is a very cruel and revealing thing.’
‘Nooooo!’
‘Oh, yes. Everyone in the staffroom saw it. Her resignation was on Jay’s desk the following morning.’
‘Poor woman.’
‘Silly, silly girl, I’d say.’
‘Harsh, though.’
‘That’s what our Shagger is like.’
‘Well, you don’t have to fret. I’ll steer well clear.’
‘Chef said he’s coming in again later. I don’t know what we’ve done to deserve two visits in quick succession. We normally only see him once every blue moon.’ She gives me a probing look. ‘There must be some new attraction.’
Then, mercifully, her phone pings which distracts her. ‘Hey, babe,’ she says and, while she’s busy chatting, I turn my attention to my own phone. I take the opportunity to tap out a text to Joe and, despite my qualms, tell him that I can make the dive outing to Quarry Hill Cove. Anxiety prickles in my stomach as I type. I don’t want him to think that I’m interested in him more than the diving. Not that I’m really interested in the diving, but I can hardly say that I’m coming to check out the talent – if there is any. Before I can think better of it and change my mind, I press send.
When Charlie hangs up, she says, ‘That was one of my GB Army mates. We’ve scored a bunch of tickets for one of the live shows of Let it Shine on Saturday.’ One of those Saturday night talent shows – this one featuring, of course, Take That. ‘It’s up in London. Do you fancy coming along?’
‘Deffo. It’s my weekend off. I’ve just agreed to go to the dive day out on Sunday, but I’m free on Saturday.’
‘Perfect. It’ll mean a seriously early start.’
‘I can do that. I’ll set double alarms.’
‘We should be outside the studio for about six o’clock to make sure we get near the front.’
I look at her, horrified. ‘Six in the morning? You’re kidding me? I’ve seen this on telly. The show’s not until the evening.’
‘I know, but there’s no point going if you’re at the back. Gary can’t see me then.’ She has a point, I suppose. ‘How will he know I’m there?’
‘You could text him?’
She shakes her head at me. ‘You are an innocent in the world of fandom.’
‘Does he have to know that you’re there?’ I ask somewhat weakly. I know the answer already. Charlie looks at me as if I am more stupid than Mr Stupid. ‘Will there even be trains at that time of day?’
‘I’ll drive in. We can park up at Euston and get a Tube or taxi across to the studio.’
That sounds a bit more civilised. I glance at my watch. ‘We’d better get back inside, Charls, or Chef and Jay will have our guts for garters.’ Charlie packs away her e-ciggie and I knock back the dregs of my coffee, now cold. We jump down from the bench, glad that it hasn’t collapsed under our collective weight. She links her arm through mine as we walk towards the restaurant, saying goodbye to the sunshine for the rest of the day. ‘We can play Take That’s Greatest Hits all afternoon to get us in the mood.’
‘Fab.’
Together we break into the chorus of ‘Pray’ and throw in some of the dance moves.
‘See. I’m teaching you well. You wait and see, I’ll induct you into the GB Army yet.’ Charlie gives me a smug smile. ‘I am his future wife, you know. If not in this life, then in the next. I’m prepared to wait.’
I laugh at that. ‘That’s so creepy and not a little scary, The Future Mrs Barlow.’
‘Yeah,’ she says. ‘Even for me.’
Chapter Eleven
As predicted, Shagger Soames does turn up. Right in the middle of evening service. We are totally rammed with not a table to be had and lots of disgruntled customers who’ve been waiting in the bar for over forty-five minutes. Our diners are intent on hogging their tables tonight and there’s nothing I can do to rush them.