Letty sighed. “So write me a letter…” she suggested wryly.
“Don’t you have enough letters from me?” Miles said with a laugh. “If it were up to me, I’d never write you another letter again!” Miles laughed heartily, as a sheepish smile tugged at Letty’s lips.
Letty wacked Miles in the arm as a more serious look took over his face. Shrugging his shoulders, Miles elaborated, “It was lonely. I was worried about whether you made it home or not. I watched the news for any mention of your name. I just wanted to know that you were all right.”
Letty sighed. “I wanted to come. My father wouldn’t let me. And when I didn’t get any letters from you, I thought you wanted to be left alone.”
Miles shook his head as he passed yet another letter to Letty. “Keep goin’…”
June 29, 1998
Miles Capadonno
Prisoner #27163972
Pennsylvania Corrections
Franklin Correctional Facility
1022 Race Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Letty,
This will be my final letter to you.
This is some fresh-ass bullshit. You were my girl. You said through thick and thin, we’d be together… Well, where are you? Is it another guy? I know you’re okay. Sasha told me she saw you at the library. Why haven’t you answered my letters? Why haven’t you at least called? Why Letty? I thought you were different. I thought you cared.
-Miles
Allowing the letter to drop to her lap, Letty snickered at Miles. “I see I made you mad… It was clearly not your last letter, though,” Letty said as she pointed to the hundreds of envelopes that covered her mattress.
“No, it’s certainly wasn’t. Keep reading.”
July 9, 1998
Miles Capadonno
Prisoner #27163972
Pennsylvania Corrections
Franklin Correctional Facility
1022 Race Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Letty,
I know I said that my last letter would be it. I guess this sorta makes me look something of a chump, but I’m past the point where I give a fuck. This is a hopeless place, Letty. I’m on a cell block with one hundred and fifty-nine other men, but I’ve never felt more alone in my entire life.
Night times are the hardest. All day long, I keep busy, with distractions and chores keeping me from falling too deep into my mind. But when darkness fades, my thoughts become loud. A constant stream of reminders of all my failures riddle my brain at night. I can’t escape it. I’m plagued with worry over you. What if the reason you’re not answering me is because you’re gone? Or maybe the reason you’re not answering me is because you need to move on with your life.
During the daylight, I can come to terms with living my life without you… but Letty, the night belongs to us. I stalk sleep, but it eludes me, and the memory of your face is never far from my mind.
Awake. Alone. 2 A.M. The darkness knows all of my secrets. Each day is another strike on the wall. Another day without you. Pain rips through my body as I lie in bed. It is indescribable the pain I feel. The mental anguish I cope with every night… It snakes through my body, curling around my stomach until I can barely breathe.
I want nothing more than to be rid of the pain. To escape from this hell I’m living in. So, for now, the nights still belong to us. Until you tell me otherwise. The tiniest strip of sky can be seen from my cot. I imagine we’re back in Carrion together. You’d tell me the sky is beautiful tonight. If I were with you, I’m sure I’d think so, too. But because I’m here, serving time for a crime I didn’t do, living my life away from the girl I was supposed to build a life with, all I feel is rage.
Shaking. Sweating. Night Tremors. A tortured soul that just wants to break free of this prison, this body, this hell. Fly out the window and exact revenge on the men that did this to me. Did this to us. But you need me alive to fight for you… so I’m just waiting for them to let me out of my cage.
’Til I see your face again.
-Miles
A gasp escaped from Letty’s mouth as the letter fluttered to the floor. Breaking down as her own mental anguish ripped from her in sobs, Miles wrapped his arms around Letty, stroking her hair softly with his hand. Letty tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come, her face showing all the signs of her gut-wrenching despair for Miles. In between gasps and staccato breaths, Letty said, “I feel terrible that you had to endure that alone. I feel absolutely rotten…”
“Hey,” Miles said, as he tilted Letty’s chin so he could see her eyes.
Letty looked up at Miles with her tear-streaked face, her red-rimmed eyes ripe with emotion.
“All that’s over now,” Miles said. “Things will be better for us. You’ll see. There’s just some stuff I gotta take care of first.”
“Like what?” Letty asked, her eyes going wild. “We can just leave. Let’s just leave.”
“It has to be done strategically, Letty. There are eyes on us,” Miles explained.