“He was dead when we invited you,” Noah said.
Silence fell over the room like a curse. Noah’s voice was flat. I didn’t think he’d meant to be cruel, even if the statement was crude. But more important, it was wrong.
“No,” I said. “He was alive when you invited me. I said yes when he was gone, because I couldn’t possibly have betrayed his confidence then. There was no risk to me that way. He wasn’t dead the first time I came to the lighthouse, or any of the other times since then that Cadogan House has stepped up.”
I put my hands on my hips. I hadn’t meant to come here and begin a tirade, but I found I couldn’t stop. I was too frustrated by inaction, by apathy, by their treating every issue as someone else’s problem.
“When the GP came knocking at our door, when the cops came knocking at our door, when Adrien Reed came knocking at our door, you weren’t there. So don’t give me bullshit about how you’re on the side of vampires against the oppressors. You pick and choose your battles. And you know what? I think you’ve decided Ethan and I are one of those battles because you think that battle’s actually winnable. I think you know the Red Guard is useless, that if you demonstrate you can control me, control Cadogan House, you can show you have balls. But that’s bullshit. The only thing you get out of it is pissing off the people who have worked themselves to death—literally—to clean up the messes you’ve been ignoring.”
“Looks like Sullivan’s creating his own mess,” the tall woman said. “He’s making a spectacle of himself with Reed.”
“Going to the Garden wasn’t the best idea,” I agreed. “Reed threatened me, wanted to get a reaction out of Ethan, and he did. Ethan knows it was a mistake, but the arrest was a complete sham. They’d spent maybe ten minutes talking. It was a show of power by Reed, because that’s the kind of guy he is. That’s why we need to be united. That’s why it’s crucial.” And it was a damn pity I couldn’t say that to Ethan and Gabriel right then. But one step at a time.
The woman opened her mouth to speak again, but I held up a hand. “No. I’m not done. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of conversations about me, and this is my chance to speak my piece. Here’s the question you have to ask yourselves: Are you going to keep wasting your time on me, on Ethan, when there are enemies out there with plans to bring the city to its knees? Instead of joining us, instead of helping fight, are you going to keep debating whether I’m the enemy? Here’s a tip: I’m not.”
“Big words,” someone muttered.
“Damn right they are,” I said. “And not easy ones. You’ve seen what Cadogan has gone through. I’m not saying it will be easy. But that’s not why the RG was founded, was it? To do what’s easiest?”
I didn’t wait for a response, but walked to the door, glanced back. I centered my gaze on Jonah, let it linger there. His eyes, crystalline blue, showed absolutely nothing.
“When you’re ready to get to work,” I said to him, “you know where to find me.”
And I walked out.
? ? ?
I stared out the windows of the taxi that sped toward Hyde Park. The driver kept checking his rearview mirror, and he’d made it plain he was in a hurry to get me the hell out of his car.
“I could drop you off at the university,” he said for the third time.
“You’ll drop me off at the House, or I’ll call the city and tell them you refused a fare to a vampire.”
I didn’t think that was illegal; civil rights for vampires hadn’t exactly caught on. But he blanched, and kept driving.
Sometimes you took the victory where you could find it.
? ? ?
I slammed into the House in the mood for a fight, was momentarily disappointed Ethan and I had made up. A good, screaming yell-fest would have worked out some of my anger. The next best thing, I decided, would be a good bout of exercise. I could go for a run or get in a little time of my own in the training room, maybe practicing the ballet Berna had mentioned.
But Mallory intercepted me in the hallway. She wore cropped jeans rolled up above her ankles, sneakers, and over a fitted shirt, a stained canvas tunic that looked like something kindergarteners wore to protect their clothes while finger-painting. Her hair was parted to the side, the wider part braided in front, the braid tucked behind her ear. “First of all, Catcher told me about the Rogue, which completely sucks. But it looks like you kicked his ass.”
“Not enough to bring him down permanently.”
“One step at a time,” she said. “Second, I have something to show you. Ethan said you were on your way back to the House.” She gestured for me to follow her. “You need to come outside.”
“Mallory, I don’t have time for—”
“Come outside,” she said again. “Ethan, Malik, and Paige are already out there, and it’s work-related, I promise. I’ve got a little something in the crucible.”
That wasn’t an offer I thought I should refuse.