"You think that now, Ryan. You think that now because Lily's doing well, she's here with you in every sense. You haven't felt the heartbreak of watching her just . . . disappear right before your eyes, of seeing her talking to people who aren't there because she's living in a world of her own."
"No, you're right, I haven't. But I'm willing to accept that possibility, even the probability. I'm willing to accept it because to let her go entirely is so unthinkable, that for me, there's no other choice. I choose her willingly, every part of her, even the darkness." Just as she accepted me, even the darkness.
Her grandmother's face seemed to gentle. "You're in love with her."
"Yes. Yes."
She sighed. "Well, that's a start I suppose."
"I like to think it's a really good start."
"And you'll care for her?"
"With my whole heart and soul."
The glimmer of a smile appeared on her grandmother's lips. "She's in love with you, too. She made that quite clear to me this morning. She made it quite clear a year ago, too, though to my mind, there were more dire priorities." She looked down at her hands for a moment. "We talked . . ." Her words faded away, but I didn't speak. It looked as if she was still pondering something. When her eyes met mine, they were filled with sadness. "Lily is the only family I have left, Ryan. And she has no one except me."
It was obvious that she loved her granddaughter very much. I didn't want her to think that with me in Lily's life she would be relegated to the sidelines. She didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to be alone either.
"Had," I said. "She has me now, too. You both do."
She nodded slowly, her eyes soft. "She has money, you know, from her mother's estate. And I've left Whittington to her. I suppose she can do with it as she sees fit. That seemed right." Whittington belonged to Lily. She paused. "Still, I worry, you know, what happens to Lily when I'm gone." She put her hand over her heart. "My heart is weak, and I worry—"
"You don't have to worry anymore. I want to be here for her."
"And what happens if you become ill again? What then?"
I let out a breath. "I don't know. I don't have all the answers in this situation. But I think—no, I know—that Lily and I belong together, and I have to believe we will find a way to make things work, whatever that might look like, whatever that might mean."
Her grandmother nodded sadly. "So much uncertainty. It's what I've tried to avoid for Lily."
"You can't. I don't know if anyone can, but especially for Lily and me, there will always be uncertainty. It's love that will make it bearable. No matter what, it will always be our one sure thing, our one constant. It will always be the light to lead us from the darkness."
Lily's grandmother's eyes shimmered with tears as she nodded. "Okay, Ryan." She let out a deep sigh, perhaps resigned, perhaps relieved, perhaps some of both. "I'm sorry I tried to keep you apart. I'm sorry for that. You have my blessing."
My shoulders relaxed, and I gave her a small smile. "Where is she?"
"She went to the planetarium. She should be home any minute if you—" We were interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing.
"Excuse me," I murmured, taking my phone from my pocket. It was Lily. "Lily," I answered. I heard static on the line. "Hello?" I turned slightly away from Lily's grandmother.
"Ryan," Lily said. "Sorry, it's windy. Can you hear me?"
"Yes, where are you?"
"I'm on the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm walking—"
I frowned. "The Golden Gate? What are you doing there?"
She answered, but it was lost in a burst of static. "Lily, I'm coming to get you, okay? Stay there, I'll find you. Hello?" I heard her garbled voice and repeated what I'd said right before the line went dead.
I looked at her grandmother. "Go," she said, giving me a small, concerned smile. "Go get her."
**********
The wind hit my face as I moved quickly through people walking along the bridge. The sky was dark now and the bridge was lit, but the lighting was soft and subdued. To me, the Golden Gate at night never looked as if it was illuminated by electricity, but rather as if it was bathed in starlight. I walked through the strolling crowd, moving swiftly, swiveling my head when I spotted dark hair, disappointment hitting me each time I realized it wasn't Lily. My heart had begun to beat faster. Where was she? I picked up my pace even more, practically jogging now, my breath coming out in short bursts of air. I finally spotted a lone figure with long, dark hair standing near one of the towers, her arms resting on the ledge, staring out over the bay. My heart leapt with joy. It was her. Lily of the Night. My Lily of the Night. I slowed down as I neared. Her head turned right before I got to her as if she had sensed me approaching and the smile that lit her face made my heart jump in my chest. "Hi," I breathed.
"Hi," she said, turning her body to face me.
"What are you doing here?"