Maud opened her mouth to say something, but a look from her grandmother encouraged her to close it.
“You’ve had enough school, more than most girls. I don’t see why you need to bother yourself with more.”
“It wouldn’t be a bother,” she said. “I hope to get my teaching certificate.”
“You do, do you?” He scoffed. “You know what I think about educating women. It is fine to learn to read and write, but getting one of those BAs or certificates will muddle your mind. You remember that confounded woman who lived with us. That is what comes of higher education for girls!”
But Miss Gordon was respected in Cavendish; why couldn’t he see that? She pushed on. “Grandfather, you know I’ve been published in the newspaper. Going to school will give me the credentials I need to make a go of it.”
“As a teacher, you would be no better than a nanny,” he said. “No granddaughter of mine will lower herself.”
Having played nanny, Maud knew they were quite different. One more go. “If I try for a scholarship, can I go?”
Grandfather stood up. The discussion was over. “You’ve heard my decision, Maud. You can do that scribbling of yours, but your duty is here, not in some college in the city.”
Maud couldn’t breathe. It was as though she had been turned to stone. There was no justice here. Grandfather had brought down his judgment and his decision was final. Why did she think she could convince him? She was powerless.
Slowly, Maud helped Grandma clear the dishes. Why couldn’t she support her granddaughter for once?
As Maud washed the old china, she had an image of herself doing the same thing, washing the same dishes, day after day for the next ten years, twenty. She would be opening Laura’s and Will’s ten-year letters in this same kitchen.
Nothing would have changed.
CHAPTER SIX
What had changed was Mollie and Pensie, who no longer even tried to hide their dislike for one another, making it very difficult for Maud. She often felt like she was betraying Pensie if she decided to go left to Mollie’s house, and Mollie if she turned right to Pensie’s.
Neither girl was interested in leaving Cavendish, and while they still listened to Maud talk about Prince Albert or college, it was clear that—now they had both finished school—they would rather talk about finding a husband. Mollie was additionally distressed because she had been tasked with helping her mother care for her often-ill father. Mollie didn’t want to let on, but Grandma had told Maud that his moods were getting worse.
It was odd, then, walking to school the following day with Lu, who had grown tall this past year. Now fourteen, Lu had confided to Maud that she had started counting her nine stars—and who she hoped her husband might be.
Had it only been two years since Maud had walked with Nate, since he’d been her nine stars?
The schoolhouse was exactly the same, even the cipher Nate had carved over Maud’s hook was still there. But everyone else was either gone or moving forward, while she was stuck here in Cavendish, forced to be dependent upon her family’s generosity.
When Maud told Miss Gordon what her grandfather had said, her teacher crossed her arms and began to pace in front of the blackboard that held the day’s British history assignment. Maud would have given anything to sit at her old desk and study British history.
Miss Gordon faced the blackboard, her two index fingers tapping against her lips. “You know,” she eventually said, “I’m going to need a lot of help this year. I have a much bigger class.”
“Yes, but—”
“It would be so helpful for me, Maud. And you must also assist me with the Christmas concert. You’ve always had such a flair for these things.” Miss Gordon paused. “It is your duty, after all.”
“My duty,” Maud said.
“Yes.” Miss Gordon smiled. “Your duty.”
Maud began to understand. Her grandparents couldn’t object if she was performing Christian charity by helping her teacher. What would the community say if she said no?
Miss Gordon was right. Grandma certainly didn’t mind Maud “doing her duty” by helping the teacher. Maud started the following day. And while her grandfather didn’t want her to “fill her head with more foolishness,” he also wouldn’t stop a woman from performing her Christian duty.
—
It was comforting returning to the dependability of school every day, which still smelled of pine, chalk, and the lemon polish Miss Gordon had the students use to clean the desks. But, there were also those whom she had gone to school with before, junior students now in the upper levels, like Austin Laird. Always the joker, Austin tended to make trouble by teasing the girls, and more than once Miss Gordon had to send him to the corner for misconduct. Maud knew that if she were still a student, she would have laughed along with the class, but being in a position of authority, she kept her feelings hidden. Luckily, Maud didn’t have to deal with discipline, as Miss Gordon tasked her with handing out papers or teaching the young ones to read.
One afternoon, when Maud had been helping Miss Gordon for a few weeks, the teacher handed her a stack of papers and books. There were a number of small assignments on different subjects, such as math and history, but the overall material was much more advanced than what Miss Gordon was teaching.
“Read through these lessons and come see me about them later this week.”
“There’s so much! How will I do this on my own?” Maud said. And to what end?
“You’re not on your own. I’m here, and if anyone asks, you are helping me,” she said. “Now, go and ring the bell.”
Maud took the assignments home and, after sorting mail for Grandma in the post office, looked them over again. Miss Gordon had laid out a list of readings and lessons in all of the subjects Maud would need to prepare for the college entrance examination. Maud steadied her hands so they would stop shaking. If her grandparents discovered how Miss Gordon was secretly helping her to prepare for the forbidden examination, she would not be allowed back in that schoolhouse, Christian duty notwithstanding. But what did it matter if she couldn’t really go to college? Why should she get her hopes up? It wasn’t as though her grandparents were going to change their minds. She promptly put the pile on her bureau and pretended to forget about it.