She couldn’t speak, then; she was too fascinated by how warm Nate’s ungloved hand felt in hers. Maud had taken his hand before, but this was different. Back then she had believed—or pretended to believe—they were good friends, that they were teasing. Now she was aware of his fingers around hers. There was a steadiness in holding his hand she had never felt before, a knowing he would always stand by her. This thrilled and terrified her. She wanted to both let go and hold on.
He rubbed his thumb against the top of her hand. She shivered. Her ring felt cool against his warm skin.
Nate stopped and Maud turned to face him. He had turned his cap around so it was on backwards, just the way she liked it.
“May I kiss you?” he asked.
Maud could scarcely breathe. “Yes.”
He leaned in, and their foreheads knocked together.
Their second attempt was more successful. This time she didn’t move, allowing him to guide her. Her head tilted to the right, his lips tentatively met hers.
How sweet his kiss was. Her first kiss.
When they pulled apart, she was ready to tell him the truth about her parents—or at least, the truth that some believed. “I have something to tell you. My secret. My father,” Maud said, and pulled away, but he took her hand again. Maud didn’t speak. Her black boots cradled in the faded red snow.
“Maud, I don’t care what people say about your family. We are not responsible for the actions of our parents.”
With all of the stories Maud had heard, she wasn’t sure she believed Nate. After all, we were a combination of our family’s stories, were we not?
“You knew what people were saying about my parents?” she said. All this time, she had thought she was protecting him, protecting herself. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I had hoped you would tell me.” He pulled away. “Why wouldn’t you trust me with this?”
“It’s a family matter, Nate,” Maud said, reaching out to touch his arm. Why did she have to ruin this perfect moment?
He turned to face her, and there was a softness in his expression. “Do you know about my father?” he asked.
“Just that he died on a ship before you were born.”
“That’s true.” He took her hand and led her to a large rock near a small pool of water. “The truth is that my father went missing. He was a ship captain and the boat got lost somewhere near Argentina.”
“How dreadful!”
“My mother tells me that for weeks they didn’t know if he was alive or dead. But then a letter came from one of his officers confirming her worst fears.”
“He was dead.”
Nate sniffed. “There are still rumors that he was murdered, but we will never know for sure. It was one of the reasons why my mother came home to live with her parents and was grateful when my stepfather proposed.”
Maud could see why. Being connected to someone who might have been murdered could truly damage a woman’s reputation, even if she had nothing to do with it.
He put his other hand on top of hers and laid it gently on the rock between them. “So you see, Polly, my Polly, we have more in common than you realize. I heard this story from my mother only recently, because she wanted me to hear it from her. People will talk.”
Yes. Yes they will.
“It is why I changed my name back to Lockhart. I wanted to show them that I was proud of my father. I believe it was an accident.”
Maud blinked back tears. He did understand. He saw her without judgment. He was her knight and she, the girl who needed saving. She wanted to be loved, and he loved her.
“Thank you for trusting me with your story,” she whispered.
“Don’t you see, Polly?” He leaned in. He had the most marvelous freckles. “You could always trust me.”
Her second kiss was even sweeter.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“You look flushed, Maud. Be careful not to get overheated,” Grandma warned when she got home a few hours later. When Maud was younger she had burned her finger on a poker and got very sick, almost dying, and since then Grandma was always concerned when Maud looked “flushed.”
But all Maud could think of were Nate’s lips—he kissed as though he was writing in the margins of a book, with deep intensity. Sometimes he moaned, and she was equally flattered and uncomfortable. Heat bloomed up the back of her neck when she allowed herself to think about it.
She even dared to write about it in her journal, often rereading the entries that led up to their first kiss, including his love letter to her. How silly it all seemed now that they were together. And then one day, as she was locking her journal away, she saw a letter lying on top of her bureau near the pile of unread magazines. She froze when she saw her father’s familiar handwriting.
It was now early March, and Maud hadn’t heard from Father since she had received the package of magazines. Should she disturb her fragile joy with another disappointing letter? In the end, curiosity won.
Father apologized (again) for his long absence, but he had a good reason. After “settling some matters,” he had finally returned to Prince Albert, to Eglintoune Villa. The next part made Maud hold her breath, rereading the sentence until she finally believed it might be true.
I’m writing to my father to inquire if he still plans to come west at the end of the summer. I know he’s been interested in inspecting the railroad expansion. Perhaps you can join him?
Maud practically pranced down the stairs to show her grandparents the letter. Of course, they had seen it come through the post, but they didn’t know the contents. Grandfather was sitting near the window. He watched as Grandma read the letter quickly and hand it back to Maud as if it was a soiled rag. “I’m glad he has the foresight to arrange travel plans for you, as it is indecent for a girl your age—or any woman, for that matter—to be traveling by train alone.”
“Does he mean this to be permanent?” Grandfather said, clearing his throat.
“There are no specifics given,” Grandma said.
“I see,” he said. “Perhaps we need to give it some thought.”
Why couldn’t her grandparents see how this was a good thing? But she didn’t want anything to ruin this chance, so she agreed to wait until they had a chance to talk it over.
But, the next day, while walking in the school woods at lunchtime, Maud couldn’t hold it in. She told Nate about her father’s letter.
Instead of being happy for her, Nate scowled. “You haven’t thought this through,” he said. “What happens when you leave? When would I see you? With me leaving for school next year, we would have even less time together.”
Maud didn’t have any answers, and was perturbed that he couldn’t simply be supportive. “Do you expect me to wait around for you?”
Nate put his hands in his pockets and didn’t meet her gaze. “I don’t relish the idea of you being so far away.”
Maud didn’t relish the idea of being so far away from her friends—or him. “He’s my father, Nate,” she whispered.
Nate took both of her hands. “Of course. If I had the opportunity to see my father again, I would take it. It is that I would miss you.” He gave her his adorable chin-dimpled grin and she forgave him.