As soon as she leaves, I sit by Gabriel’s side and take his hand. It’s cold and clammy. “Talk to me.”
His thumb runs along my knuckles. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Do I need to do some cuddle therapy here?”
His eyes meet mine, and I see the weariness in them. He clearly thought he’d hidden his feelings well and good. It makes me smile, sadly.
“I know you, sunshine. We might as well be on a plane right now.” I squeeze his fingers. “You are not all right.”
With a sigh, he rests against the headboard. His throat moves on a swallow. “I hate doctors.”
“Dr. Stern is very nice.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “Not in that way. Bugger…I didn’t get myself checked out because I hate seeing a doctor.” Blue eyes filled with pain meet mine. “My mum… She was fatigued, always sleeping. Fainting spells.”
I go ice cold. “You think you might…”
I don’t say the words. I can’t. I will not give them credence. But I crawl into bed and wrap myself around him.
He leans into my touch. “I fear it. I always have.”
I see the effort it takes for him to admit that, and I snuggle in closer. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and squeezes back, his lips pressing to the top of my head.
“Do the tests, Gabriel.” When he tenses, I push on. “It worries you, and that makes everything worse. Do them and get that fear out of the way.”
He doesn’t say a word, just breathes against my hair, his hand clutching my shoulder.
I raise my head. “If it were me, what would you say?”
“To take the bloody tests,” he grumbles.
I kiss his lips. “I will not leave you. Ever.”
He must see the determination in my eyes, because he gives a short nod.
When we call in Dr. Stern and tell her his concerns, she calls the nearby hospital and sets up a few tests.
* * *
It takes two days for the results to come back. Two days of Gabriel stomping around like a snarling bear to hide the fact that he’s terrified. Two days of me distracting him with sex and holding him tight when he sleeps to hide that I’m terrified.
Nothing gets done, despite Gabriel’s insistence that everyone go about their business. At the moment, he is the top priority, whether he likes it or not.
On the day the doctor is supposed to call, I outright give up trying to pretend I’m okay. I don’t bother getting out of my PJs but sit in a chair and flip through a magazine, seeing absolutely nothing.
Somehow Brenna, Rye, Jax, Killian, and Libby find ways to be near him too. They’ve all ended up in our suite sitting around as well. It’s as if we’re all waiting, circling our wagons. And oddly, Gabriel doesn’t send anyone away. He might not admit it, but he needs his friends.
Silence settles over us so thickly it’s choking.
When Gabriel’s cell finally rings, I think we all jump out of our skin a little. I stop breathing all together for a moment. I can’t move. Gabriel answers, his voice low. And when I can’t hear what’s being said, I go to him, take his cold hand in mine. My heart pounds so loudly, I hear it reverberating in my ears.
A tremor goes through him, and his hand jerks. My breath hitches.
When he hangs up, everyone stares at him. The silence grows, and then he finally speaks. “All clear.”
I sob and throw myself into his arms. Around us, the guys and Brenna are talking, laughing—I’m not even sure. There’s only Gabriel for me at the moment, the sound of his pounding heart, the faint dampness of his shirt, and the scent of his cologne mixed with the sweat of his body.
He holds me so tightly, my ribs ache. But the hug is over soon, and he sets me away and stalks over to the window. He doesn’t fool me. I see the sheen of sweat on his brow and the way his hand trembles before he tucks it into his pocket.
Jax speaks up first. “That settles it, then. You’re taking a vacation.”
Gabriel doesn’t bother looking our way. “No.”
“Ah, yeah you are,” Killian snaps. “And if you say no again, I swear I’ll clock you one. I don’t care if you can kick my ass or not.”
Gabriel snorts and turns to face us, his cold mask firmly back in place. “I do not need—”
“Stern literally said you need a vacation, Scottie,” Whip cuts in, looking pissed. “So stop messing around.”
All the signs of an imminent blow up are rising in Gabriel: eyes going icy, cheeks flushing, nostrils flaring. But his voice remains calm. “There’s too much to do.”
“Jules can handle it.” Brenna gives a firm nod. “You told me yourself she’s getting on well. And everything is set, so all she needs to do is steer the boat, so to speak.”
His eyes narrow. “Yes, thank you for that observation, Brenna.”
“You’re welcome.”
With a huff, he tugs at his cuffs. “Go on holiday. It’s absurd. Where would I even go?”
Rye laughs without humor. “You’re in Italy, for fuck’s sake. Laze around, eat good food, drink wine, fuck—”
“Do not finish that statement, Ryland.” Gabriel’s stare is suppressive.