He gives me a knowing look. “I feel like shit warmed over and left out to dry, but I’ll live.”
Rye passes beers to the others, but I wave off the offer. I don’t remember when I last ate, and in my current mood, I’m likely to punch someone if I get drunk.
“Once found a book of Brenna’s,” Rye says, making a face. “Dude in it had some ‘monster cock’ that was ten inches long.”
“Yeah, right,” Jax scoffs. “Was it a fantasy? The likelihood of a dude with a tenner is slim.”
“Speak for yourself,” Killian says with a smug grin.
“I am, anaconda. Just simmer down and keep it holstered.”
They both snicker. But Rye shakes his head. “How are dudes in real life supposed to compete when women are reading about python dicks and pussy whisperers?”
Whip snorts and spins one of his drumsticks. “The average length of a woman’s vagina is three to four inches. A ten-inch dick doesn’t mean shit when it’s all said and done.”
“Are you trying to justify having a three-inch dick?” Rye asks with a growing smirk.
“Nice try, but you’re not getting a look at this magnificent specimen, no matter how badly you want to.” Whip grabs his crotch and hefts it in Rye’s direction before rolling his eyes. “I’m trying to say, asshole, that men shouldn’t be worrying about how big their dicks are, but how to use them. I’ve had women weep with gratitude because they’re used to lazy cock.”
Jax laughs at that. “Lazy cock. So fucking true. You get a woman to come on your dick, and she’s fucking hooked.”
“Someone make it stop,” I mutter, putting the pillow back over my face.
“Look, man,” Whip says somewhere around the vicinity of my head. “We’re just trying to give you some advice.”
“Fuck all…” I tilt the pillow to the side to glare at him. “Sophie has been well satisfied. Repeatedly.”
Hell, now I’m thinking of that look she has when she comes, the way her little nose wrinkles and her eyes squeeze tight as she arches her neck and moans… I put the pillow on my lap and snarl.
“Are you sure?” Rye waggles his brow. “I mean she’s obviously not happy about something—”
“She’s upset because I tore into her like a jealous, untrusting asshole, you git. Not because I couldn’t get her off. Fucking hell.”
“Ah.”
Yes, ah. As if that does me any good.
Rye turns on the TV and settles down in a chair. “Oh, Supernatural is on.”
“No,” I cut in, pained. “Not that one. Sophie has a thing for Dean. I can’t watch it without hearing her sigh and coo.” God, I miss her.
Rye quickly changes the channel to a car show.
Unfortunately, all I can think about is Sophie lusting over my Ferrari. Shit. The woman is threaded through every fiber of my existence. I’m unraveling.
“I love her.” The words come out stilted, foreign on my tongue. But they are the truest part of me.
“Of course you do,” Jax says with the patience of a father talking to an irritable toddler.
Killian snorts. “We’ve all known since you threatened to kill Jax over her.”
“I don’t recall such threats.” I only thought them. I was so blind back then, trying to convince myself Sophie was a passing fancy when I’d been falling for her from the moment she opened her mouth. My clever, chatty girl. She’s turned me on my head, made me a better man, made me live for the moment.
I glance around. The guys are giving me my privacy by watching the TV. But they are here. For me. They’ll never leave me behind. My mates. My family.
“I love you too,” I blurt out.
And instantly regret it. My face burns as they all turn my way with varying degrees of shock in their expressions.
Rye gurgles on a laugh.
“Fuck,” I mutter. “That’s not… You know what I mean. You’re my mates.”
“‘In Whoville they say that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day,’” Killian drawls.
They all laugh.
“Sod off,” I growl, fighting a smile. But I won’t retreat anymore. Sophie was right; it hurts both me and them when I do that. I look each of them in the eye. “I mean it.”
Whip tosses himself on me, which bloody hurts, and musses my hair. “We love you too, Scottie boy.”
I shove him to the floor. “Animals, the lot of you.” But I feel better. Except I don’t. Not at all. “I am fucked, aren’t I?”
“Pretty much,” Killian says with a nod.
“I’m not falling in love,” Jax declares. “I have enough fucked emotions to work through.”
“Famous last words, dude,” Whips says from the floor.
“So, did you apologize to Sophie?” Jax asks.
“Of course. But I cocked it up, and she asked for space.”
“You didn’t give her space, did you?” Killian sounds horrified.
It gives me pause, and I peer up at him. “Wasn’t I supposed to?”
“No, you don’t give them space,” he wails. “That’s only some shit they say to see if you’ll fight for them.”
Outrage punches through me. “Why the bloody hell would they do that to us?”