I didn’t know what Kaley was to me. I didn’t know what we were going to be, but I could tell that it was something. We were just getting close, I was just beginning to open myself up to her, to get used to the idea of being a father. And suddenly that was all taken away.
She left on her own. I knew that. I knew that she chose this, that she wanted to leave. But something had to have happened to make her want to actually go. I couldn’t believe that she would want to go back to her family unless something new had come up.
That was really driving me insane. I needed to know what that thing was. It was so possible that she just didn’t want to be around me anymore, that I had somehow pushed her away. Maybe she decided that she didn’t want her son raised by a violent fucking mobster.
I couldn’t really blame her. I was raised by mobsters more or less, and look at how I turned out.
“Fuck,” I said, slamming my fist onto the table as I walked past it.
“Boss,” Rafa said, “I just got a text from Lucas.”
I stared at him. “So the fuck what?”
He cleared his throat. “Text says you should go meet him in his room.”
“Why didn’t he message me that?”
“He did, but you’re not answering your phone.” Rafa paused and grinned at me. “Probably because you’re pacing around like a crazy person.”
“Watch it,” I said.
“Don’t take it out on me, boss,” Rafa said. “I’m the only one that has your back no matter what.”
I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. I nodded. “You’re right.”
“You gonna go talk to him?”
“Yeah. Give me a second.”
I took a few steadying, deep breaths. I couldn’t go up to Lucas acting like some insane person. I couldn’t take my anger out on him like I could on Rafa, although I knew it was an asshole move to be a dick to him.
“Call if you need me,” I said, grabbing my phone and then heading out the door.
I headed through the hallways, trying to keep my mind off Kaley. I tried not to think about how she likely ran off because of what a piece of shit I was. I knew I’d been pushing, but I must have pushed too hard, went too far.
It was my fucking fault. It always was my fucking fault.
I had to stop once and take a few deep breaths to calm myself again before starting back up. Finally, I found myself outside Lucas’s door.
I knocked twice. “Come in,” I heard.
I went inside and saw Lucas sitting down at his kitchen table. He gestured for me to sit.
He was looking at a bunch of papers as I took a seat beside him. He pushed a glass toward me. I picked it up and sipped: good whisky.
“What do you need, Lucas?” I asked him.
“About the girl,” he said, “I know how she got away.”
I clenched my jaw. “How?”
“Louisa.”
I cocked my head. “Really?” The time I caught them in the greenhouse came back to me.
Lucas laughed. “Turns out that Kaley and Louisa became friends. I asked Lou if she knew what had happened with Kaley, and Lou flat out told me.”
I shook my head. “Are you kidding me? She helped her?”
“No joke. Want to talk to her?”
“Yeah,” I said, “I do.”
“Okay,” Lucas said. “But drink up first. You’re fucking pissed, and you know that shit doesn’t fly with Lou.”
I laughed and knocked the drink back, motioning for more. Lucas filled me up again.
Louisa was no joke in the Barone compound. The daughter of Arturo, she was probably the most feared person outside Arturo himself. There were rumors about her, rumors about why she never left her room, but most of them were false. And besides, ever since Natalie and Lucas got together, Louisa had started venturing outside her room more often.
But I knew the truth about her. At least I knew part of the truth.
Louisa was a skilled computer hacker. Since Arturo wouldn’t let her join the Barone crime family on her own, she had been using those skills for nefarious purposes for a long time.
Not a lot of people knew that about her. I was sure there was more to it that even I didn’t know, but I was smart enough not to press too hard. I was lucky that I’d found out as much about her as I had.
I knocked back my second drink.
“You okay?” Lucas asked.
“No,” I said. “I want to get the fuck out of here and get Kaley back.”
Lucas nodded. “She left, man. Chose it herself.”
“I know that.”
“Do you though?”
I clenched my jaw.
At one time, I was Lucas’s second in command. I was closer to him than anyone else. But ever since I’d gotten my promotion, we had drifted apart. We’d been best friends once, and back then he wouldn’t have hesitated to strap on a gun and follow me into battle.
Things were different now. He still had my back, but not like the old days, not anymore.
“Listen,” Lucas went on. “I know you want her back. She has your son, and I could tell you were getting close. But be careful, Vince. She made this choice.”
I nodded slowly. “You think I’m not thinking that?”
“I know you are,” he said. “I also know you’re probably blaming yourself. But fuck it, man. You can’t do that shit. No matter what you do, I’ll help as much as I can.”