‘I did it because Luca couldn’t,’ he said simply.
I stepped backwards, away from his smell, his face, his eyes. It would take a long time to conquer this feeling of betrayal – no matter what logic dictated, no matter any of it.
‘We’re not at war, Sophie, you and I,’ Nic added. ‘I’m on your side, but you’re a Falcone now, remember?’
He turned and thudded back downstairs, taking the cold, hard truth of the matter with him.
My phone buzzed against my hip. It was a text from Millie.
I’m at Evelina. Come outside.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
OUT OF THE DARKNESS
Millie was leaning against the door of her car, arms folded across her chest.
I jogged towards her. ‘What is it?’
She slammed into me, and wrapped her arms around me so tightly I could barely breathe. ‘Oh my God oh my God oh my God, Soph, oh my God.’
I held on tight, breathing in her Flowerbomb perfume. ‘I’m sorry, Mil.’
She pulled back from me, a steadying hand on each shoulder. ‘It’s all over the papers.’
‘My dad—’ My voice broke off.
She pulled me into another hug. ‘I know. I’m so sorry.’
I didn’t realize how much I needed Millie until she was there, holding me up. All the pain and confusion and emptiness fissured, and the tears came freely.
‘Did you see it?’ she asked, pulling back from me. ‘Did you see who killed your father?’
‘Nic.’
‘God,’ Millie sighed. ‘Oh God, Soph, I’m so sorry.’
‘I’ll never forgive him. I can’t even look at him.’
Her frown deepened, crinkling her nose and pulling her brows together. Her freckles were darker in the harsh winter light. It was so early still, and yet she must have been driving for hours …
‘How did you get here so fast?’ I asked her. ‘How did the paper come so early at the cottage? I thought you were in the middle of nowhere.’
She frowned at me. ‘Don’t you know?’
‘Know what?’
‘Soph, Luca called me.’
‘L-Luca?’ I couldn’t grasp that sentence. ‘What? Why? When?’
‘Late last night,’ she said. ‘He told me everything.’
‘Why?’ I repeated. I had been busy trying to keep Millie in the dark and now she knew everything – and Luca had been the one to tell her. He had shattered omertà.
Millie was looking at me with equal confusion. ‘Why?’ she repeated. ‘Because he wants me to take you away from here, Soph. He wants you out of the family.’
He wants you out.
The chasm in my chest peeled open again. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Yes, you do,’ said Millie. ‘You understand perfectly well.’
There was a hint of scolding in her voice. I knew that beneath her sympathy and worry she was angry with me. I had been reckless. I had gone after something that was never going to cure me or make me feel better. I had lied to her. I had put myself in danger.
‘It’s a miracle that you’re still alive,’ she said. ‘You realize that, don’t you?’
I nodded, barely aware of the tears sliding soundlessly down my cheeks.
‘Staying here is no longer an option.’
I stared at my own scuffed Converse.
‘It’s madness,’ she said. ‘I’m not leaving here without you.’
I looked at her again – I had never seen her so serious, so determined.
‘I’m pulling you out, Soph,’ she said. ‘You can come willingly, or you can come by your hair, but this world you’re living in is about to implode and this life is not for you. I know you know that. Choose to recognize it. Please.’ Desperation broke into her last word. Her eyes were filling up. ‘Please,’ she said again. ‘Choose life. Choose happiness.’
‘I don’t know how, Mil,’ I whispered. The tears were falling freely on to my neck, sliding inside my collar and turning to pinpricks of ice.
‘Try,’ she pleaded. ‘Forgive yourself.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You can,’ she insisted. ‘Forgive yourself.’
I shook my head.
She grabbed it in her hands. ‘Look at me,’ she demanded. ‘There is no life here, Sophie. Only death. Only grief. You are more than your pain. You are more than your loss. You are more than your mindset.’
I grabbed her hands and kept them in mine.
‘You know you have to go,’ she told me. ‘You know that, don’t you?’
I did know. I knew the minute we left Donata Marino’s house.
I nodded, slowly, reluctantly. ‘But where?’ I asked her. ‘I can’t stay with you, not while the Marino family are still active. The Falcones are moving to another safe house, and I don’t have anyone else. No one who would be willing to hide me …’ I trailed off, feeling nothing but despair. ‘I’m lost.’
‘You have to trust your father,’ she said firmly.
‘What?’
She reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope. ‘I stopped by my house on the way back from the cottage this morning. This was waiting for me. It’s a letter from your father.’ She thrust it towards me.
I took it with shaking hands. My father’s last written words. And they were to my best friend. I opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.
Millie,
I‘m sorry to have to put you in this position, but you’re the only person I trust to deliver this message. With Celine gone, Sophie has tied herself to the wrong people. She is now an official Marino target.
I expect soon I will be caught or killed. I know what I have to do. I am going to take the threat away from Sophie. Today, on Christmas Day, I will go to Donata Marino’s house and remove her from power. I will remove my brother too, and face whatever punishment comes with it.
If I am unsuccessful, the Marino family will rebuild itself. In this case, I need you to send Sophie away. There is someone at the address below who will hide her until she is free to be herself again.
Sophie trusts you more than anyone. She will listen to you. Please, keep her safe. Do what I couldn’t do. Take her out of this life, before it ‘s too late. Give her this address, and when it ‘s done, burn this letter and erase all traces of it from your memory.
If she will hear it, tell her I ‘m sorry. Tell her I love her.
You are the best thing that ‘s ever happened to her, Millie. Please take care of my girl for me.
Be well,
Michael
‘Did he do it?’ she asked, after I had read through the letter twice, the paper shaking in my hands. ‘Did he kill Jack?’
‘Yes,’ I said, trying not to fixate on the image in my head, still staring at his words. ‘I saw it.’
‘Then you can trust him.’ She tapped the piece of paper – the address of M Flores scrawled messily at the bottom. ‘You can trust this.’
I took it from her, a frown twisting on my lips. ‘And what? I’m just supposed to go?’
Millie nodded. ‘Yes, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.’
‘With what money?’
‘Luca will sort it out.’
Bitterness swelled inside me. ‘Wow, he must really want to get rid of me.’
‘You know why he’s doing it,’ Millie said. ‘Come on, Soph.’
I wiped a tear away before it could trace another line on my cheek. ‘I have to go,’ I whispered to myself. ‘I have to go.’