Ally pointed at him. “That right there is why you’re so confusing to her. She knows it’s not about looks for you. She doesn’t get what it is about. It’s not that she has a low sense of self-worth. She doesn’t. She’s confident, bold. She’s at ease with who she is; she just didn’t expect anyone else to be.”
“You said she doesn’t give much of herself to people, but she let Yvonne, Marlon, and Julie get close.”
“Ah, but have you noticed that she sort of mothers them?”
Thinking on that, Zander realized she was right. Gwen put them first, protected them, and was a rock to each of them. In a way, she’d fostered that family—not the other way around. “She’s strong for them. The dominant force of the family, really.”
Ally nodded. “You don’t need her strength, you don’t need a rock, and that makes you unfamiliar territory for Gwen. She’s not used to being around people who are as equally strong as she is. She doesn’t quite know how to deal with someone who’ll want her to rely on them. Everyone wants to know there’s someone they can rely on, even if they never intend to do it. She’s never had a rock. The idea of having one will be as alluring as it is scary.”
Because to rely on someone, you had to trust them, Zander thought, and trust was hard for Gwen. “Okay, Dr. Ally, I got a question for you.”
“Dr. Ally,” she echoed with a smile. “I like that.”
“She invested some trust in me. She’s let me in a little. She’s let me know her. But she still holds back. Why?”
“This confuses you?” Ally rolled her eyes. “We’re shifters, Zander. What are shifters most known for doing?”
He shrugged. “Mating.”
“Yes. We’re most known for having true mates and metaphysical bonds.”
“I already explained to Gwen that having a true mate doesn’t mean I’m spoken for unless I’ve bonded with them.”
“Which is likely the only reason she let you in her bed. But this is what she’ll be thinking: that once the Brandt situation is over, you’ll go back to your pack and she’ll never see you again—that this is a . . . holiday romance for you. If this is more, you need to make that clear to her.” Ally tilted her head. “Would your wolf fight you on it?”
“No. He adores her. It took a little while for him to warm up. At first, he backed away from her—practically hid from her. Little by little, he closed the distance he kept from her, though still not all the way. Gwen thinks he’s weird with women because he’s not interested in any female but his true mate. I don’t know. In any case, she won him over.”
Ally gaped at him. “Good God, Zander, you’re lucky you’re hot.”
“What?”
She plonked down her glass and leaned across the table. “Maybe it’s because you’re too close to the situation, I don’t know, but you’re missing some things here. Right, let’s imagine that there’s this wolf. He’s strong. Fierce. Hard. Wounded, though. He was shot a couple of times. He recovered, but he has scars. Now, he’s not afraid of guns as a result—no, he’s too brave for that. But he is wary of them, so if he sees one around, he’s going to be on his guard in case the damn thing goes off. Now, your wolf wasn’t shot, but he is wounded. What wounded him, Zander?”
He frowned. “The people who were important to him.”
“Right. So let’s say your wolf comes across someone else who’s important to him—maybe the person that’s the most important of all. How the hell do you think he’ll react?”
“He’d be wary.” Zander swore as realization slapped him right over the head. His mouth went slack, and his whole body stilled in shock. Hell, even his heart seemed to stop—then it was pounding in his chest like a drumbeat.
His wolf did a sheepish, metaphorical shrug. The beast had known Gwen Miller was their mate from minute one; he’d simply been too wary of having a mate to accept it—even now, the wolf was still slightly wary.
Zander gave a slow, incredulous shake of the head and almost laughed. Not with euphoria, but at his own stupidity. He should have known. He snapped his gaping mouth shut and drew in a breath through his nose. “Why didn’t I see it?”
Ally’s smile was sympathy itself. “Maybe because your wolf isn’t the only one who’s wounded. Maybe you’re wary of finding your mate too. Who isn’t? A mate will want everything from you. But not to take and keep those pieces of you, Zander. To protect them, to love them. She’s the one person who’ll make everything worth it for you.”
He stood there, reeling as several emotions overwhelmed him. Astonishment. Disbelief. Satisfaction. Pride that the female heading toward them belonged to him. He carefully masked his expression as she neared, keeping his smile hidden. Still, she saw something on his face that made her frown. He bit down on a smile of pride—his mate was incredibly observant.
Gwen set their drinks on the table as she asked, “You okay?”
“Fine.” His world had been rocked, of course, but in a good way. Zander drew her close, drinking in every little detail of her face, quietly savoring the knowledge of what she was to him. “I’ll be even better when your shift is over and I can get you home.”
“Not long to go.”
As Gwen walked away, he said to Ally, “I have no idea how to tell her that I believe she’s my mate. She’s not a shifter; she wasn’t raised knowing that she’d one day be mated. She won’t be prepared for it or for how much the mating bond will demand of her.”
Ally gave him an understanding smile. “Yeah, it will come as kind of a shock. This isn’t going to be easy. I don’t envy you having to explain it to her.”
“And if she were to ask me to confirm that she was, without question, my true mate, I wouldn’t be able to prove it until we felt the pull of the mating bond. I don’t know if my belief that she’s my mate would be enough for her. Not when she still holds back from me.”
“She only holds back because she doesn’t realize this is serious for you.”
Zander ground his teeth. “I marked her. I told her that she’s mine.”
Ally snorted. “Everyone knows shifters are territorial over pretty much everything, even over what we consider temporarily ours. Unless you’ve told Gwen in no uncertain terms that you want something long term with her, she’s unlikely to be aware of it.”
Well, no, he hadn’t been clear about it. He was regretting that now. “There’s so much shit going on around her. The question is . . . if I tell her she’s my mate, will it make her happy, or will it make her feel like yet more stuff is being piled on her?”
“I don’t know.” Expression thoughtful, Ally worried her bottom lip. “Look, I know this will be hard on you, but maybe . . .”
“What?”
“Maybe it would be best to keep the true-mate thing to yourself for now. Tell her this is serious for you. Make her believe it. Let her see that she’s important to you. If she’s secure in what you feel for her, she’s more likely to accept that you’re mates than if you simply blurt it out at a time when she’s still unsure what’s going on between you.”