I just shake my head. No, I’m not okay. And no, I’m not going to be sick. But yes, I am having a panic attack because the only man I’ve ever loved, the one who’s made it so completely clear he’s no longer interested in me that a diamond mining company would envy his clarity, is on the tour I’m heading up the promotional campaign for.
“You know this guy?” Katie hits play on the song again, the damn song that is so full of shit it makes me want to chuck my computer out the window. “Better to Burn,” it’s called and it’s about risking it all for love, which I’m not sure Dallas Walker would ever actually do.
I struggle to find my voice and the words to accurately describe how I know this man, this man I haven’t spoken more than a few words to in years, the man who at a funeral not that long ago basically told me he couldn’t care less if he ever saw me again.
“I do. I do know him.”
She whistles again. “Lucky you.” When I don’t say anything else, she reaches out and touches me on the arm. “Robyn? You mean you like know him know him? Oh God. Oh no. He’s the one, isn’t he?”
Oxygen is suddenly a scarce commodity.
“Yeah,” I say slowly. “He’s the one.”
5 | Dallas
DENVER IS SLIGHTLY COLDER THAN I EXPECTED AND MORE MOUNTAINOUS than anywhere I’ve ever been.
Mandy and I arrive at the amphitheater for sound check just as the sun slips below the giant peaks. I slide off my sunglasses and out of the backseat.
Holy fuck. The entire amphitheater has just been carved out of the red rock and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.
My manager seems amused at my wide-eyed gaping as I stand there awestruck by the sight of it.
“See what I mean? This is where you belong. Not in those Podunk back-alley bars.” Mandy presses her full lips together in a self-congratulatory smirk. “Come on. I’ll introduce you to a few people. The reviewer for Country Music Weekly is here and some local radio people are, too. Oh and the tour sponsor is here. They’ve set up a meet-and-greet for you tonight.”
I’m still processing the fact that I’m about to play in front of at least ten thousand people when she links her arm with mine and tugs me toward the stage.
Half a dozen eighteen-wheelers are parked beside where we pulled in. A giant Jase Wade is giving everyone “come suck my cock” face from beneath his cowboy hat. Neon blue letters scream about Midnight Bay Bourbon sponsoring the Kickin’ Up Crazy tour.
About a million shirts and hats and can coozies with the sponsor’s name were delivered to me via Mandy this morning.
“That’ll be your face on those trailers one day,” Mandy says, noticing where my attention has drifted.
“Remind me not to make some stupid-ass pouty face when it is.”
She laughs but her grip on me tightens. “Behave, Dallas. He’s the headliner this time so be humble. Even if you have to fake it.”
“Fake it till I make it. Got it.” I nod as we make our way up the metal stairs, and try not to acknowledge just how true that statement currently is.
A roar of laughter goes up from where a group of guys are gathered.
“So I told her, darlin’, I’ll give you a ride wherever you want to go. Just let me get my pants on first.” More laughter rolls outward. The guy in the center pulls his hat off when he sees us approaching. “My bad, Miss Lantram. Didn’t know there was a lady present.”
“There isn’t,” she says evenly. “Jase, this is Dallas Walker. He’s Capitol’s newest artist and your new opening act.”
She’s already filled me in on how this spot came open at the last minute. Some other new guy rightfully had it. But he snaked one of Wade’s groupies and Wade had him kicked off.
Wade eyes me up and down before giving that same expression that irked me on the tour trailers. “Nice to meet you, Dallas.”
He extends his hand and so do I. We shake hands briefly and I can feel the entire group sizing me up.