She gives me a smile and a nod. “And do you know your name?”
I glance down at my new stitches as she wraps my arm in gauze. Something Afton Tate says comes back to me. He said if I let Mandy and the industry change me, then I didn’t really make it big—someone else did. He was right.
“Lark,” I tell her. “My name is Dallas Lark.”
And I’m not going to the hospital like she thinks. I’m getting the hell out of here. I will be damned if my girl is going to text me the sex of our baby. I will be at that appointment tomorrow come hell or high water.
41 | Robyn
“SWEETIE, COME ON NOW. YOU HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING. YOUR mom is worried sick and frankly so am I.” Katie is holding a bowl of soup but I can’t even imagine putting the broth in my mouth. “Whether you’re hungry or not, the baby needs nourishment.”
“I have to call his sister. She needs to know. It will be on the news soon and what if she—”
“One of Jase’s PR people already called her, Robyn. I talked to her last night. She’s worried, too, but she’s okay. Relax. They are doing everything they can to find Dallas. We can go to Amarillo and see her after your appointment. But first, eat.”
I stare at the fleshy noodles swimming in the soup. There is a human being growing inside me and no matter how I feel, it’s not okay to let my baby go hungry.
I close my eyes and gag on several bites. “That’s the best I can do for now,” I tell my roommate. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. You did your best. Let’s get some clothes on so you can get to your appointment.”
I shake my head. “I can’t go. I was supposed to text him a picture.”
I look at my phone. Nothing. I’ve texted, I’ve left a dozen messages telling him to call me, that I love him and need to know that he’s okay.
No response.
Now I know how he felt when I blew him off before. The only difference is, he knew I was alive.
After Katie helps me get dressed and puts me in the car, the tremors come back. Instead of crying, my body has decided to do this weird seizing that scares Katie half to death.
“Even if you don’t want them to tell you if you’re carrying a boy or a girl today, it’s good to check on the baby. And I’d like to see if they can give you something mild to calm your nerves while we wait for news.”
Her knuckles are white on the steering wheel. I’m stressing her out and I feel bad but I can’t hide this. I’ve always been so good at hiding my emotions, keeping up the tough-chick exterior, but I can’t anymore.
“Did I ever tell you why we broke up?” My throat is raw and my words are raspy.
Katie glances over at me. “No. I don’t think so.”
I lean my head against the window, agitated that the sun has the audacity to shine today. It’s cold out, but the damn sky couldn’t even cooperate with my gloomy mood.
“I was supposed to go on a six-week summer tour with his band, help with their outreach and social media and such.” I close my eyes. I can still remember it so clearly. I was so excited about the road trip. We’d both been so busy—me with school and him with odd jobs and the band—we were looking forward to the time together. “I had a music mix made and everything. A lifetime supply of beef jerky. All the road trip must-haves. That was supposed to be an epic summer.”
“Sounds fun.”
I swallow hard while trying not to lose myself in the memories. “It should’ve been. But then my mom got sick. She had stage two breast cancer. The lumpectomy wasn’t enough. She spent the summer in chemo treatments.”
“I’m so sorry, Robyn. I didn’t know.”
“She’s doing really great now and she’s big on looking forward, so I try not to dwell.”