Then he said it. He finally said it. His voice was thick with tears, but he spoke carefully, so that it filled Nyx’s Temple and, hopefully, lifted to the Goddess herself.
“I’ve killed so many people. I didn’t want to. I didn’t let them suffer. But I did it. I did kill. And I have to go back. I have to join the rebels. I have to … I have to …” his words faltered as his heart broke. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted so, so badly to stay here in this wonderful world that wasn’t filled with war and insanity. He wanted to stay with his sister and her family of friends.
“Atone.” Zoey’s voice was soft, but it carried like the scent of vanilla and lavender, permeating everything.
Kevin sighed with relief and nodded. “Yes. I have to atone. To find forgiveness—if Nyx will let me.”
“Oh, Kev,” Z said through her tears. “She already forgives you. Now you have to find a way to forgive yourself.”
“I’ll find that back there. Back in that world. I can make a difference there, just like you have here.”
Zoey stepped back, wiping her eyes with G-ma. Stark produced tissues from somewhere, handing them around the circle. Even Aphrodite and Darius joined them—though Darius didn’t even look close to crying.
“But how are you gonna get back?” Stevie Rae asked. “We barely know how we got you here.”
Kevin blinked in surprise at her. “That’s obvious. You just showed me how.”
“Huh?” Zo said.
“Do what you did to get me here again, only this time, do it backwards. Like you close a circle or end a spell or ritual—with the opposite of what you did before.”
“That might actually work,” said Damien.
“We should practice,” said Zoey.
Kevin put his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t have time for you to practice. I need to get back there.”
“You can wait a few days. Let us think through this. Experiment. What if we mess things up even worse than they are now?” Zo said.
Then G-ma surprised everyone. “Zoeybird, you have to let him go. Now. Don’t you see? The longer he stays here, the more difficult it will be for him to leave. And u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya, how would you feel if you had been pulled from this world and sent to another, only to discover how very badly you were needed back in your old world?”
Tears were washing Zo’s cheeks, but she nodded. “I—I get it. I understand. I just don’t want you to go.”
“Thanks, Zo. That means a lot to me. And I don’t want to go, either, but I have to. You know I have to.”
Zoey wiped her face and blew her nose. Then, in a loud, strong voice she said, “Okay, circle. Gather everything you had before. We’re going back to Woodward Park.”
29
Zoey
It took a surprisingly short time to gather the elements of the spell. My circle did it all. The only thing I did was sit with Kevin and tell him anything I could think that would help him back in that other world.
The whole time I pretended like he wasn’t really going to leave. A big part of me hoped he couldn’t.
“Stop it,” Kev said.
“What? I didn’t even say anything.”
“Stop thinking about it. There’s nothing we can do. I have to go. You know it. I know it. G-ma knows it. And I’ll bet Nyx knows it, too. So stop thinking about it.”
I blew out a long breath. “All right, where was I?”
“You just finished telling me about the weapons in the basement of the House of Night. I got it. They’re worth a fortune, and a fortune is what the resistance needs. I’ll figure out a way to get down there, and if there’s gold and jewels in them thar hills, I’ll pawn it.”
“You are a goofball,” I said.
“But tall. I have that going for me. And Aphrodite says I got game.”
“No one listens to Aphrodite.”
“Uh, Zo, she’s your prophetess.”
“And still. Okay, so, you’re taking a copy of Neferet’s journal back with you.”
“Yep.” He patted the inside pocket of the jacket Damien had found for him. “It’s right here.”
“None of that may have happened to her in your world. Or maybe just a part of it. But we found out stuff from her past is one way to get at her, especially when it’s stuff no one knows.”
“I’ll do some digging and see if she’s from Chicago. If she is I’ll do a search into her past. If it’s there I’ll find it. I’m damn good with computers.” He grinned.
“And you have to find your Nerd Herd,” I said. “That’s the most important thing.”
“Yeah, so you say, but I’m worried about that. Stevie Rae isn’t alive in our world. I remember when she rejected the Change because I was at the House of Night. And I don’t know any Shaylin. Like my world’s Jack says, Damien’s dead, too. That leaves Shaunee. She’s cool, but she’s always with a girl she calls ‘Twin.’ And she seems like a totally different person than the Shaunee who’s fire here.”
“Wait, is Twin a white girl from Tulsa?”
“Blond, real hot, and kinda slutty?”
“That’s her! Okay, that means you have fire and water.”
“The slut’s water? Somehow that makes sense.”
“Oh! In the car Other Jack recognized Aphrodite. Only he asked where her Mark was—so she’s in your world, too.”
“There’s no vampyre in my world with a red and blue Mark like hers.”
“No, but she is in your world. Remember, Kev, who we are deep inside is the same. It’s just that we’ve had different experiences, so our personalities might be different. Find Aphrodite. She can stand in for any of the elements, but she was air when we called you—so that’s probably what I would have her personify for you, too.”
“She should be fire as smokin’ hot as that girl is.”
“Eew. Just stop. Now all you need is earth.”
Grandma joined us, sitting beside Kevin on the cushy velvet love seat in front of the fire that crackled happily in the professors’ lounge. Other Kevin and I had come to the lounge to wait while my circle rushed around gathering spellwork elements. As they found each one—again—they ran in, placed it on the table in front of us, and then took off again. So far the table held the five ritual candles, matches, a crystal pyramid/tetrahedron (which Shaunee pilfered again from another trophy case) and an athame.
“I found it, Zoeybird. I knew I had a second one in my room. I just had to search for it.” Grandma added a redbird feather to the growing group of things.
“So, all you need is to find one more person who can personify an element—hopefully earth.” I thought for a second and then added. “Think about Stevie Rae when you look for him or her. Stevie Rae’s a real Oklahoma girl—she’s tied to the red earth—feels it in her soul. Remember that, ’kay?”
“’Kay, I will. Stop worrying.”
“It’s what I do best,” I said.
“What of those poor souls who came through with Kevin?” Grandma asked.
“Kev and I already talked about that,” I explained. “It’d be good for him to have an ally, but none of them are ready to go back now.”
“They won’t ever be, Zo. Jack’s the only one who was able to save his sanity. The rest of them are broken. Promise me you won’t make them go back.”