“Caden—”
“Makenna, I’ve been in love with you since the night we met. I’m as sure of that as I am that I let my family’s accident dictate my life in ways I wasn’t even aware of—until I totally crashed and burned. I love you so much if feels like a part of me is gone when we’re not together. I love you because you’re beautiful and kind and smart and funny. Because you accepted me when I didn’t even accept myself. Because your heart is more filled with empathy and understanding than anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t make any sense without you. Not anymore. Because you’re in me, and I want you there. I want you there forever. You and the baby. Our baby.”
“You…you love me?” she asked, trying the words out as emotion ballooned inside her chest. “Then why…why?” Awkwardly, she tried to scrub away the tears from her face, but the bandages on one hand and the IV in the back of the other made it nearly impossible.
Caden grasped a tissue from the box on the rolling tray, and then he leaned in and dried her tears for her. It was such a ridiculously tender gesture that Makenna sucked in a breath.
“Why did you walk away?” she asked again.
With a heavy sigh, Caden sat back down and took her hand again. He pressed a lingering kiss to her knuckles, the little caring gestures lending credence to his words. “The short answer is that I lost myself, I let myself spiral until I couldn’t control it, and then I became clinically depressed.”
“Oh, Caden,” she said, the knowledge that he’d been hurting so badly cutting right through her.
He shook his head. “I’m better now, so don’t worry. I’ve been working on getting myself back on track for months. And I am better, Red, I need you to know that. Better than I’ve ever been since the accident.” Another kiss to her knuckles. “I let a lot of things chip away at my confidence until I’d convinced myself I didn’t deserve you—”
“I don’t love Cameron, Caden. I don’t want him. And I want you to know I’ve asked him never to contact me again,” she rushed out.
“I know you don’t love him. I know you were honest and sincere in everything you said to me. Problem was, I couldn’t hear what you were saying, or I couldn’t let myself believe it. I don’t know. And that’s another thing I should apologize for,” he said, lips pressing into a hard line. “That I let my lack of faith in myself affect the faith I had in you. And I fucking hate that I did that. Because you did nothing to warrant it. It was all my own bullshit. But that realization was why I was waiting to come back to you, to come back and ask for a second chance. I wanted to come back to you whole. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be confident I wouldn’t make the same mistakes all over again. I couldn’t do that to you.”
“And are you all those things now?” she asked, hope and pride rising up inside her. Because there was something in the light in his eyes and the strength of his words that had already answered the question.
“Yes,” he said, nodding, his gaze burning into hers. “For the first time, yes. I had been planning to see you this weekend, even before you stopped by the station Wednesday night.” He gave a little shrug. “You showing up felt like a sign. That it was time. And that I was ready.”
Makenna closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath, all the stressful uncertainty she’d been carrying sloughing right off her shoulders. It was the most beautiful relief, even as exhaustion from the night stole over her body. Looking at him again, she gave a small smile. “I’m so proud of you, Caden.”
“So,” he said in a low voice. “Do you think…could you give me a second chance to be in your life? To love you? You and the baby?”
“Oh, Caden, I’ve just been waiting for you to say the words,” she said, her throat going tight. “I want you in my life more than anything, and not a second has passed since we’ve been apart that I haven’t loved you with everything that I am.” She rubbed her knuckles along the prominent ridge of his cheekbone and wished her body was in a condition that would let her do what she really wanted—to climb into his lap, wrap herself around him, and never let go. “I’m going to love you forever. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what.”
“Jesus, Makenna, I was so damn scared you’d be done with me for good,” he said, stretching over her to give her a hug.
“You never have to worry about that, Caden. But you have to promise me you’ll never shut me out like that again. You have to let me be there for you the same way you were here for me tonight, when things are at their very worst and everything seems to be falling apart. I want to be there for you. I need to be there for you. And you have to promise to let me. Because I can’t lose you like that again. I won’t.”