Love in the Light (Hearts in Darkness, #2)

Their car had flipped into an irrigation ditch that ran along the side of a country road, making it so that passing cars couldn’t see it in the darkness. For hours, Caden had been pinned upside down in the back seat, his head wedged between the front center console and passenger seat, his shoulder dislocated, something stabbing him in the side.

He’d called out his family’s names for a long time, but no one ever answered. He’d screamed for help every time the lights of a passing car flickered through the gloom, but no one ever came. Caden had passed in and out of consciousness for hours until he could no longer distinguish reality from nightmare. By the time a long-haul trucker finally stopped in the early light of morning, Caden hadn’t responded to the man’s calls to see if everyone was all right because he hadn’t believed the voice was real.

His mind hadn’t stopped playing tricks on him ever since.

“I’m just glad I could help,” he finally said, leaning up to kiss Makenna on the forehead. He ran his fingers through her soft hair. He never had tired of playing with it, and didn’t think he ever would. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Makenna kissed his chest and pressed herself tight along the side of his body, her head on his shoulder. They fell asleep quickly, but the combination of the accident and the anxiety caused by the overheard conversations had twisted his subconscious into knots that played out in some of the worst nightmares he’d had in years.

They all started out the same—with his father losing control of the car and it flipping in a series of crushing, body-bruising jolts until it finally landed upside down, the impact throwing Caden’s body so hard that he became pinned in place, unable to move.

It was the endings that were different.

In one, no one ever came to rescue Caden from the accident, and he was still there now—a living hell he could never escape, blood still dripping down over his face from the wound on his head.

In another, his brother Sean’s eyelids flipped open in his lifeless face, his eyes sightless in death but so accusing as they stared at Caden. Sean moaned, “It shoulda been me. I shoulda been the one to live,” before disappearing into thin air.

In the one that just had him gasping awake, it was Ian who first showed up on the scene, and when he looked in and saw Caden hanging there, he just said, “She deserves better than you,” and walked away as Caden screamed and screamed.

Jesus.

Caden looked to his side to find that Makenna had turned over at some point. She must’ve been exhausted for his bullshit not to have disturbed her, because he knew his nightmares often woke her up. Just another thing he hated about himself, for her sake.

He blew out a long breath. Caden was so fucking exhausted. And it was an exhaustion that had absolutely nothing to do with last night’s lack of sleep. It was an exhaustion he carried in his very soul, one that weighed down his spirit with grief and survivor’s guilt and self-doubt, and he didn’t know how he’d ever fix that. Or what it should mean if he couldn’t.

Finally, Makenna stirred beside him. “Hey,” she said, giving him a sleepy smile.

God, she was so very pretty. It struck him dumb every time. “Hey.”

“Did you sleep?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said. Some, anyway. If she hadn’t heard his nightmares, he didn’t need to burden her with them.

“I must not have slept enough,” she said, making a face. “I’m kinda nauseous.”

“It’s three o’clock in the afternoon,” Caden said. “We’ve missed two meals. Maybe food will help.”

They threw on clothes and found Mike, Patrick, and Ian congregated around the island in the kitchen.

“Daddy,” Makenna said, rushing up to him. “How are you feeling?”

He huffed out a little laugh. “A little beat-up, but I’ll be okay, peanut.”

“I wish I could stay longer,” she said, leaning her head against her father. With a grimace, Mike put his arm around her and softly hugged her in. The gesture was so casual in its intimacy and tenderness that it stole Caden’s breath. Not because there was anything particularly unique about a father hugging his child, but because after the accident, Caden’s father never once hugged him again.

The accident had left his old man with his own demons, leaving no room for the father-son relationship they’d once had. And it had made a much younger version of himself believe that his own father wished Caden hadn’t survived either. He’d felt like such a burden to the man, for years. It was part of why he’d started donning the armor of his ink.

“Don’t you worry about it,” Mike said. “Collin and I are going to be fine.”

“Do you want to stay and take the train home when you’re ready?” Caden asked. He felt bad that his having to work tomorrow cut the weekend short, but the price of getting the holiday off was a series of back-to-back twenty-four/seven shifts for the next few days.

Makenna blew out a breath and braced her hand on the counter. “I don’t know. I have to work on Monday anyway.”

“Are you okay?” Patrick asked. “You’re kinda green.”

“No sleep and no food,” she said.

“What do you want?” Caden asked. “I’ll make you something.”