Love in Lingerie

His mouth cracks, a widening of lips, the peek of perfect teeth. It is the beginning of a smile, and I can see him fight to contain it, his tongue playing with the corner of his mouth before he purses his lips closed. His eyes drop once more to my ring before they lift again to my face, his features more composed, a flicker of amusement still in those dark eyes. I want to ask him what is so damn funny. Instead, I knot my fingers and focus on finding an imperfection on his face. I fail.

“I’m asking about your fiancé for purely innocent reasons. Kate, I’m not the easiest person to work for.” He leans forward, his forearms resting on the desk, and runs the fingers of one hand over the knuckles of his other. “I’m temperamental, and terrible with instructions, and I can be a real asshole.” A hint of a smile appears, then he sobers. “But despite what you may have heard about me, there are certain lines I don’t cross, and fucking my employees is one of them.”

“Literally or figuratively?” I don’t know where the words come from, but they are well received, his grin splitting wide open, a chuckle rumbling out.

“Both.” He pushes to his feet and extends a hand. “Thank you for coming in, Ms. Martin. Someone will be in touch to follow up.”

My stomach twists. Maybe it is my portfolio. Maybe I seemed too eager. Maybe, it is the ring on my finger. I force a smile and slide my palm into his, the squeeze of his handshake just strong enough to ground me. “Certainly. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

The lie falls smoothly from my lips, but our handshake lasts a second too long.

I don’t know how I’ll return to Lavern & Lilly, or how I’ll make it through more years under Claudia, but I know one thing: Trey Marks can say all day long he doesn’t fuck his employees, but I’d bet you his watch that he’d have spread me wide open on his desk if I’d asked for it.

I push on the exterior door and step into the Los Angeles heat, inhaling the light honeysuckle scent. In four hours, I have dinner with Craig, a meal where he will dissect every moment of my interview and manage to pile more stress onto my job search. I leave Trey Marks’s inappropriate comments in the parking lot, and get in my car, my mind already cataloguing which details I will share with Craig.

It takes twenty minutes of windows-down driving, music blaring, my steering wheel shuddering underneath my palms, for me to forget the pull of his smile.

Baby Jesus in a Manger. The man should be illegal.





Him

My desk was a gift from my father, a man who always spent more than he made, my childhood a mix of shiny toys and eviction notices. He gave me this desk a month before he died, the piece plucked from an estate sale down in Rancho Santa Fe, the hundred-year-old piece hand-carved, the edges filled with miniature battle scenes, the top inlaid with leather. I kept the card that he left on its surface, a single notecard, his scrawl barely legible across its lined surface. Always fight, it said. An interesting sentiment for a man who drove his brand new Porsche off a Malibu cliff. The responding officers blamed fog and heavy rain. I blamed aggressive creditors, mom’s death, and the flask he liked to keep in his front pocket.

I slide the folder of resumes before me, the simple act of opening the folder exhausting in its chore. Staffing will be the death of me. So important to a company, so time consuming when squeezed into a day. But this position, out of all of them, is the most important. I can’t pass off my Creative Director to a staffing agency or HR. This role will work hand-in-hand with me. This choice could save Marks Lingerie or cement our demise. I flip through the resumes and stop at Kate Martin’s, letting out a stiff breath as I survey the page. A Bachelors from Parsons. UCLA for her MBA. Only one job dotting the work experience section, her last eleven years spent with Lavern & Lilly. I make a face. Lavern & Lilly is conservative women’s fashion, its closest competitor White House Black Market. Would she know anything about seduction? About sex appeal? Her conservative pantsuit hadn’t exactly helped her cause.

Settling back in my chair, I close my eyes and picture her. Those pale pink lips, a faint tint of gloss, their constant press. She had been nervous, her fingers running over the top of her resume, her hands clenching and unclenching the portfolio, her eyes darting everywhere but my face. I’m not a stranger to nervous women; I’ve spent a lifetime using my looks to my advantage, my smile and words to fill in any gaps my appeal might contain. If I’d wanted to, I could have had Kate Martin. If I want to, I still could. Fuck the ring and the fiancé. No woman who wants to get married waits to set a date.

“Literally or figuratively?” Something had flashed in her eyes when she had asked the question. The edge of her mouth had curled, the hint of a dimple appearing. In those three words, she had shown what hid beneath that stiff posture and nervous eyes. In those three words, she had shown spunk.

I pull out her resume and close the folder, pushing aside the inappropriate thoughts that have plagued me since our meeting. My company is in trouble. I’m leveraged in ways that make me sweat, our assets dwindling, sales declining, morale at an all-time low. It doesn’t matter if Kate Martin is fuckable, willing, or engaged. I don’t need another fuck buddy. What I need—more importantly, what my company needs—is a savior.

Could she be it?