When she moves away from me to kneel next to my legs, I want to cry like a damn baby. “Come back and finish what you started, minx.”
“Nope.”
All coherent thought leaves my mind when Valentina takes my cock in her hand and brings it to her mouth, sucking and licking the head.
I curse slow and long.
“Warm?” she asks sarcastically, her lips grazing my dick.
“Fucking hell, woman.” I cover my eyes with an arm. “You’re trying to kill me.”
“Maybe,” she says, giggling. “Am I doing a good job?”
“I’d say.”
She runs her tongue along my length slowly, making me feel every single torturous second of it. “Excuse me. I don’t think I heard you. Did you say warm?”
“Hot,” I breathe. “Hot.”
She giggles.
“I thought so,” she says before going to town, and fucking me with her mouth.
Yep, God is good.
“SéBASTIEN?”
I caress her back, drowsy and content in the aftermath of our coupling. She’s warm under my touch, and so delicious. “Hmm?”
“Talk to me about thunderstorms.”
My fingers grow still. “Why they bother me so much?”
She nods.
“Remember what you said about the painting I gave you?”
She frowns. “Yes. It made me hurt for you.”
“You weren’t far off. That painting was about a woman I loved very much. Her name was Poppy.”
“I see,” she adds tentatively. “Can I ask what happened?”
I sigh, pulling her closer in my arms, trying to feel her around me. I need to know she’s here now more than ever. “A drunk driver ran a stop sign. She didn’t even make it to the hospital.” I pause to sit up, running my hands through my hair. “She was a little over three months pregnant.”
Valentina sits up as well and hugs me from behind. “I’m so sorry, Sébastien. So sorry.”
“It rained all day, but it only got worse as I drove to the hospital. I was supposed to go with her, but something came up and I had to stay back in London. It should’ve been me, Valentina. Me. The man hit the driver’s side. If I had been driving like I was supposed to, she would still be here. She deserved to live.”
I stare out of the window, noticing dawn tinge the sky in soft pink, lavender, and vanilla colors. The eyes of my mind take me back to that day. “For the longest time, I wanted to die just so I could be with them. In my lucid moments, I waited day in and day out for them, expecting to wake up from a nightmare and find her lying next to me, her feet tangled around mine. And when she didn’t come, I searched for her in my dreams. A smile. A glance. A sigh. It didn’t matter. Sometimes I got lucky. Then the morning would arrive and with it the never-ending pain. The pillow would be soaked with tears and the sheets covered in my body’s yearning.”
Valentina tightens her arms around me and kisses my back. She doesn’t say a word, and she doesn’t have to. Just knowing that she’s here is more than enough. It’s everything.
“I didn’t think I was going to make it.”
“But you did, and that’s what matters. And she isn’t gone. Her memory lives.” She lets go of me and shifts her position so she’s straddling my lap. She places a hand over my heart. “She’s here. And she will always be.”
“What did I do to get so damn lucky?”
She kisses my nose. “I think it should be me asking that question.”
I wrap her hair in my hand and make her look at me. “Come back to Paris with me. My flight leaves in two days.”
“What?” She blinks a couple times.
“You have nothing keeping you here.” I shower her face with kisses, needing to taste her. “Let’s get out of New York and go back home.”
She places her hands behind my neck, her fingers cradling the back of it. “But what about William? I need to get a divorce.”
“Easy. You get a lawyer and deal with him over the phone. When you need to fly here to sign papers, you—”
“You’re forgetting something.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t have nor want William’s money, so I won’t be able to pay for any of those things. My aunt left me enough to live modestly for a couple of months, and I will take that money because it’s rightfully mine, but—”
“So you move in with me, and I’ll pay for everything. God knows I have more money than I’ll ever need.”
She bites her lower lip, slightly shaking her head. “I can’t let you do that for me.”
“Is it the money?”
“Yes, that’s part of it.”
“Get your job back with Mr. Lemaire, and help me pay the bills then. I don’t want to own you like that, Valentina. I don’t want to be your jailer. I just want to love you freely and without any restrictions. I want to be your equal partner.” I rest my forehead against hers. “I’m a simple man, Valentina. I don’t ask for much. Just the woman I love in my arms, a warm bed, and a roof over us. Let me take care of you and love you,” I add softly, wiping some of the tears starting to roll down her face. “That’s all. For as long as you let me.”
“You wonderful, wonderful man. But there’s more. Most of my life I have depended on a man. Being with William has been my crutch.” She catches herself and grins through tears. “Had been my crutch. I felt safe being married to him, and even though our marriage has been over for a very long time, I kept holding onto its safety net, onto him. But now that it’s over, I need to prove to myself that I can stand on my own two feet and be fine. Learn how to fight my own battles rather than give in to fear.”
“You don’t have to fight alone, Valentina. I can be there for you.”
“I know you would. However, this is my fight. One I must endure to make my way back to you. And going to Paris now, moving in with you …” She gives her head a little shake while reaching for my hand before bringing it to her lips and kissing it. “I love you so much, Sébastien. But I need time to sort things out, to regroup and figure myself.”
I hear what she’s saying. Hell, I even understand where she’s coming from, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Placing my hands on the back of her head, I draw her toward me and kiss her with everything I’ve got. With all the desperation coursing through me, it’s a kiss that says, I’m letting you go not because I want to, but because I have to. And because I know you will come back to me. I will. I will come back to you. Wait for me. Wait for me. The kiss comes to an end, leaving us emotionally battered. “I feel like I just got you back and I’m already losing you.”
“You’re not losing me.” She grabs my hair and makes me look at the truth in her eyes. “It’s only time. And we will be stronger for it.”
“Are emails out too?” I joke, trying to lighten the mood but at the same time scared to death that this might be it.