Tilly sighed. “You going to be difficult about this too?”
“Maybe. I’m pretty good at it.” Quinn looked at her. “What would your mom have said about the camping?”
Tilly went back to playing with the sand. “My mom knew Katie and her mom. She’d have had no problem with it. But it’s no big deal, I’m not sure I want to go anyway.”
“Why not?”
Tilly hesitated.
“Because you’re not really going camping?” Quinn asked.
“No, it’s really a camping trip, jeez!” Tilly had to laugh. “Suspicious much?”
“Hello, remember the park?” Quinn asked. “But do go on.”
Tilly watched the sand sift through her fingers, catching the sunlight, looking like a million little crystals. Her mom had loved this beach. “I’m pretty sure the trip was planned just to cheer me up and get me away for a night, but Katie won’t admit to it.”
Quinn studied her for a long beat.
“What?” Tilly asked.
“I’m just wondering if I was ever this present and mature at your age. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t.” She sighed. “Honestly? It’s up to you if you want to go or not, but whatever your decision, I’m trusting you, so don’t blow it.”
“No pressure or anything.”
Quinn smiled. “Welcome to adulting. It sucks, by the way.”
Tilly was starting to get that.
“And this reminds me,” Quinn said. “I need a schedule of your normal routine, including the racetrack.”
“I’ve only done that a few times,” Tilly admitted. “Chuck needed the help because his back hurt. Also I’m good at picking winners. He uses the winnings to help keep paying his mom’s bills.”
“He shouldn’t take you gambling, Tilly.”
“Right,” she said. “And my dad shouldn’t have walked away from me before I was born. And my mom shouldn’t have lied to me. And while we’re on things that aren’t fair, I’m only five foot two, but everyone else in the family is at least five foot seven, you included. I mean, what if I’d wanted to play volleyball?”
“Do you?”
She shuddered. “God, no. The girls on the team are total bitches.” She sighed. “He’s a cowboy, you know.”
“Who?”
“Our dad.” She felt Quinn turn to her, but she didn’t look. Just kept playing with the sand. “On the rodeo circuit. Mom loved him.” She paused. “I think about him sometimes. Wonder if he thinks about me. Us.”
“I asked Cliff about him,” Quinn said. “He gave up parental rights to each of us.”
Tilly had dropped her head to her bent knees and turned only her face to look at Quinn. “Think he’s ever regretted that?”
“I don’t know.”
But Quinn had hesitated in telling Tilly that she did know, or at least suspected that no, their father had never regretted his decision. But what if? What if he did? Tilly wondered. And what if they contacted him and he showed up and admitted he did? What if he wanted to stay and be with them? Would it fill the little tiny hole deep inside Tilly that had been there ever since she’d been old enough to understand he’d walked away from her?
And was this how Quinn felt about their mom? The thought stopped her in her tracks, brought her out of herself and reminded her that . . . she wasn’t the only person who’d been abandoned.
Only Quinn had it double-fold.
“We should e-mail him,” Tilly said. “Ask him if he’s interested in seeing us.”
Quinn didn’t look as if this seemed like a good idea but she didn’t say so. “Is that what you want to do?”
No, what Tilly wanted to do was have her mom back. But other than that, then . . . “Yes,” she said softly.
Quinn nodded. “Okay. But not e-mail. We’ll do it certified mail so we can see when he gets it. I think Cliff probably has an address for him.”
Tilly nodded too, confident that their dad would get the letter, realize his daughters needed him, and he’d drop everything and come home. Because that’s what dads did. Well, at least that’s what they did in the movies and on TV. She had no other frame of reference, but she wanted to believe.
Chapter 27
I’m never sure if I actually have free time or if I’m just forgetting everything I’m supposed to be doing.
—from “The Mixed-Up Files of Tilly Adams’s Journal”
They wrote the letter as soon as they got back. Quinn had mixed feelings about it but it seemed to give Tilly some peace, so there was that.
Then Quinn sat at the kitchen table to go through her bank account and make sure some bills got paid. Her bank account balance wasn’t happy.
She was draining her funds at an alarming rate.
There were solutions. She could use a credit card. She could borrow money.
Neither appealed.
She could sell her expensive car, the one she’d never felt comfortable with in the first place, and use the money to make improvements in the café and house. In the meantime, she could use Carolyn’s old Bronco, or buy herself something small and cheap.
Thinking it was a great idea and as good a place to start as any, she did some research on pricing, and listed the car online.
She and Tilly were standing in the kitchen arguing over dinner when her phone buzzed with an incoming FaceTime call from her parents.
“Oh, crap,” Quinn said, not sure any of them were ready for this, a “family” video call.
“Are they mean?” Tilly asked.
It was that which decided Quinn. “No. The opposite. Brace yourself,” she warned.
“For what?”
“My mom. She asks a lot of questions but she’s all heart, so grin and bear it.” She hit answer and her parents’ faces, way too close to her mom’s phone, came into focus, large pores and all. “Hey,” Quinn said. “Before you start on the inquisition, Tilly’s here.”
Her parents both immediately beamed. “Show me!” her mom demanded.
Quinn turned to Tilly, who was standing on the other side of the kitchen shaking her head and miming a finger across her throat.
Quinn merely walked over there with the phone, went shoulder to shoulder with Tilly, and smiled into the screen. “Here she is. Fifteen in all her glory. Tilly, meet my mom, Lucinda, and my dad, James.”
“Oh, honey,” her mom said to Tilly, bringing trembling fingers up to her mouth as her eyes filled. “You look just like my baby! Which makes you also my baby! You’re both too thin. What have you been eating? Are you getting to bed early enough? If you’re like Quinn, you’re absolutely not. That girl used to sneak out and—”
“Mom,” Quinn said on a laugh. “I’m trying to curtail the sneaking-out thing . . .”
Her mom smiled. “Ah. Karma has come around to bite you on the tush. About time.” She looked at Tilly. “You doing okay, do you need anything? I’ve been dying to come up, but Quinn thought I’d overwhelm you, which is ridiculous.”
Tilly looked at Quinn.
Quinn looked at her right back, daring her to misbehave.
Then Tilly smiled the sweetest smile Quinn had ever seen. “It’s so nice to meet you,” she said kindly. Kindly! “Quinn’s mean, keeping you away. You should come visit sometime.”
Her mom beamed.
Quinn groaned.