When he brings his gaze back to mine, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard, I smile, knowing my skin is flush with the need I feel.
“You’ve got no idea how much it kills me to say this again, but not until I have all of you, Leigh. Not a second before then.”
I want so badly to scream that he already has my heart. That he’s always had my heart. He narrows his eyes and looks at me as if he knows what’s going through my mind. He moves, taking the few steps needed to bring him right in front of me and looks down. Even with his hat on and the dim lighting in my room, I can see the fire blazing from his brilliant eyes.
“You’re almost there, I know it, darlin’, but until I no longer see any fear in your eyes, I’m not makin’ my move.”
“I’m not scared, not of you.”
One corner of his mouth tips up. “You are.”
My hair tickles my shoulders when I shake my head, denying what he’s saying.
“Leighton,” he says with a groan.
“I’m not scared of you, Maverick. Am I scared of the feelings I have when it comes to you? Yeah . . . but that’s something that will never go away. I don’t care if we’re eighty years old, rockin’ on that porch while our grandkids scream around us, I’ll always feel it,” I whisper, and reach up to cup his now-shaven cheek. “The feelings I have for you are so strong that I almost can’t breathe because of them. Honey, that would make anyone scared, and that will never change. I’ve felt it my whole life, only I don’t see it as fear. I see it as me always knowing that what we have together is the biggest kind of love two people will ever share.” His eyes close and I feel his jaw work under my palm.
“Leigh,” he thickly breathes, sounding pained.
“Take me out, Maverick. Stop looking at it as something negative and get used to it.”
“What you’re sayin’. . .” He pauses, his jaw once again ticking under my hand. I give him a smile and push my hand back into the hair that is just long enough to curl under the edges of his hat.
“No way, cowboy. You’ll get those words the second you’re back inside of me with your naked body moving on top of mine and I can feel your heart beatin’ against my chest and not a moment sooner.”
He groans, the sound low as it echoes around us. I roll up to my toes and give him a brief kiss before leaving him standing in the middle of my bedroom. I should feel bad about pushing him, but he never had to wait for my heart, that has always and would always belong to him. He needs to realize that. Even if my words that he’s never needed to wait for my love bring him shock.
It shouldn’t, though. Not when that love’s always been his to have.
23
MAVERICK
“Stay the Night” by Jordan Gray
The whole drive out of Pine Oak I’ve been replaying her words in my mind.
She didn’t say the words, but the meaning was clear.
She loves me.
Fuck me, her admission leaves no room for doubt—she’s always loved me. Even after I purposely hurt her deeply, that love never died. God, what did I do to deserve this woman? And more important, how did I ever live this long without feeling what her love could do to me? I feel as if every broken, hollow inch of me has been healed, and fuck, she hasn’t even fully said it. It was implied, no doubt about it, but if I feel this rush of healing power just from her alluding to it, what will happen when I finally hear those three words from her mouth?
“You’re thinkin’ pretty loud over there,” Leighton quips.
I reach over the console and take her hand, lacing our fingers together. Her hand flexes and moves so that the hold is tighter. After she stills, I bring our hands up and press my lips against the smooth skin, breathing in her scent.
“You’ve given me a lot to ponder, darlin’. No doubt my thoughts are loud when I’ve been repeatin’ your words since you walked out of that girly as hell bedroom of yours.”
“Girly as hell, huh?” She laughs.
“Leigh, the only place that has more purple than that might be the PieHole. Hell, I’m startin’ to think that cat/beast of yours wasn’t tryin’ to figure out how to eat me whole the other night, but instead tryin’ to tell me man to man, he needs some more testosterone in that place.”
I see, out of the corner of my eye, her throw her head back. Her fingers tighten around mine as she lets out a loud belly laugh.
“It’s not that bad,” she gasps between laughter. “Just a little purple.”
“Just a little, she says,” I mumble.
“Okay, so maybe a little more than a little. I like it, it made me happy.”
“Made?” I question.
“Well, it still does. I’m thinkin’ a little update wouldn’t hurt.”
“It’s you, Leigh. Don’t change a bit of that. I’m just pullin’ your leg, anyway.”
I hear her shift, her arm moving, but she doesn’t let her hand slip from mine. “I meant what I said about wanting you at my place, Maverick. I don’t want you back at that place.” When she pauses, I glance over and see the look of disgust on her beautiful face. Before I can open my mouth and address it, though, she continues. “The second I said it, I knew that’s where you belong. The hell with the timeline that a normal relationship might hold, we are far from normal and you know it. I want my house to feel like a home again. No, I need it to. I’m starting to realize I stopped feeling like that long before I lost my parents. After all, they say home is where your heart is.”
“God, Leigh.”
“I mean it, Maverick. No expectations. If you still want to bring in something temporary while you’re building our future, then do it, but until then you’re under my girly as hell roof.”
I take a quick second to close my eyes before focusing back on the road, her words washing over me. “I told you earlier I would be there, Leighton. I just want you to be sure.”
“I know what you said, but you also said we would figure out the rest later. I don’t need to figure anything out. I know where I belong, I know where you belong, and that place is one and the same.”
“What was that you said earlier about being too soon?” I hedge, pissed that I’m actually giving her an out. Even if it’s an out I pray she doesn’t take. I don’t think I could stomach it if she realized it wasn’t somethin’ she wanted somewhere down the road. “I have to know you understand what you’re sayin’ here. Full disclosure, darlin’, it makes me feel like the king of the fuckin’ jungle to hear you say you want me in your home, but playin’ devil’s advocate here—you have to look at this from every angle.”
“Yeah,” she snaps. “And every angle begins and ends with you.”
“What happened to thinkin’ things were happenin’ too soon?”