How many times had I lain in bed and imagined what it would be like to have her in my arms? How many times had I stroked myself dry with the thought of taking her body? How many times had I regretted leaving town without ever feeling her lips against my own?
And now that I’ve held her in my arms, felt the fire of her desire for me still burning deep, I’m not sure I could walk away this time if I tried. I know damn well if I would have let myself feel this years ago, I wouldn’t have left, and the worst part now is I’m not sure if everything I’ve been chasing—everything I’ve lost—is worth knowing what I’ve been missing.
Turning the key, I fire up my truck and back out onto Main Street, taking the empty roads back toward the ranch. The last place I want to go, but I know it won’t be long before Clay is hot on my trail and I’d rather face him without my cock about to explode in my pants with just the memory of what Leighton feels like about to come apart in my arms.
“Fuck,” I exhale slowly.
“Ahhh,” I groan deeply, feeling the pressure leave my balls as my come shoots from the pulsing cock between my fist. I reach out and use my free hand to steady my body as thick jets of my come shoot over the wall in front of me. My head falls forward as my abs clench with the powerful force that just ripped through my body.
The steam from the shower continues to float around me.
Moving my fist slowly, I continue to ride my release. When the last drop falls from the tip of my cock, I release my shaft and step back into the spray of the shower. Picking up the soap, I continue washing my body and silently pray that I can keep my cock down now that I’ve given in to the thoughts of Leighton wrapped around me.
As I’m stepping out of the shower a little while later, temporarily sated and praying that will be enough to keep me from going at Leigh again, I hear the sounds of a slamming door echo through the house. I stand on the rug in front of the shower as drops of water run down my skin. The echo of boots slamming against the stairs hits my ears, and I step forward to press the button on my phone that will light up the screen. I laugh to myself when I see the time and look away from where my phone is resting next to the sink to wrap the towel around my hips. I figured he would have been right on my heels, but he managed to hold off an hour before coming home. Right when I finished tucking the towel at the side of my hip, his fist slams against the door, all but shaking the wood on its frame.
With a sigh of acceptance at what I’m sure will be one hell of a showdown between Clay and myself, I turn the knob. “I don’t want to hear it, Clay,” I start before the door has even cracked, but the second I started pulling the door open, he pushes hard and the knob is ripped from my still-wet hands.
“I don’t really give a rat’s ass what you want, Maverick.”
Before I can blink, I’ve got a fist coming toward my face and there isn’t fuck all I can do to avoid it. Shock has a hold on me, and it doesn’t matter a lick that my reflexes should have been able to block the punch because I’m held stock stupid.
“Goddammit!” I bellow when pain shoots out from where the punch landed on my jaw.
“Yeah? Did that hurt? I hope to hell and high water that it did. I should have done that a long time ago!”
Grabbing hold of the counter behind me, I blink a few times to clear the wetness the punch brought to my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I look up from where my hands are clutching the sides of the counter and over my shoulder, taking in the blazing mad blue eyes before me.
Not Clay. Leigh.
“Feel better?” I ask on a deep, exhaled breath.
Silence follows my question. I wait, knowing another outburst is sure to be coming.
“Dammit!”
I push up on the counter and straighten my body when the curse bursts out, and step forward to reach for the vicious hand that just about rendered me stupid.
“Whoever taught you how to punch did a shit job. Did the damage, just not only to me.”
She looks up, those eyes that were throwing daggers my way just seconds before are filling with tears. She allows me to take her wrist and I turn her hand over to see her purpling knuckles.
“I did damage,” she smarts.
I feel my laughter bubble up my throat, “Yeah, you might actually have done just that.” I look down at her hand, accessing the damage she did to herself. “Not broken, darlin’, but you should remember how this feels when you get the urge to tap this hard head again.”
“I hate you,” she whispers without conviction.
“No, you don’t. Come on, Leigh, let’s get you some ice.”
I don’t drop her hand and she doesn’t pull back as I walk out of my old bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen. Pulling out one of the old stools by the island, I wait for her to sit before laying her hand on the counter in front of her and turning to grab a bag. I feel her eyes on me when I walk to the freezer and fill the bag with some ice. When I turn, I watch as gravity wins over her tears and they silently roll down her cheek.
“You’re right. I don’t hate you. I wish I could hate you, but I don’t think I ever will be able to.”
I kneel and place the bag on her outstretched hand. Without thought, I reach up and thumb a tear off her cheek.
“I wish it could have been anyone but you,” she continues, looking at the floor. “I wasn’t even picky. I would have taken anything, anyone, to feel just a sliver of what I felt when you were around. But, no, just like back then . . . my stupid, stupid heart still beats wildly for the one person who never wanted it.”
“Lei—”
“No, Maverick. I don’t even know what I’m sayin’. You’ve had this attitude, this freakin’ wall up, for so long that I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m madder at myself for letting you get the best of me, pulling my focus from Clay and Quinn. If you really are here for them, then you need to do just that. You leavin’ this time will tear them up if you just run off again without a backward glance. You don’t understand this because you weren’t here, but they all felt the void of you hard, real hard.”
“Leigh, look—”
She shakes her head. “No, really, Maverick. Whatever you’re about to say with your silver tongue is nothin’ I want to hear. I knew how you felt before you left, and regardless of whatever that was back at the PieHole, I think it’s safe to assume that things haven’t changed in the handful of hours you’ve been back in town. We need to just put it behind us and move on, for your family. I’ll keep my distance and I would appreciate it if you did the same. Honestly, Mav”—she pauses and I watch her chest move as she pulls in a deep breath—“I survived the sting of your rejection back then, and while I’m stronger now, I don’t think I could handle your emotional punches again. I’m sorry that I hit you, that was wrong, but let us just chalk up today as the mess it was and move on . . . in separate paths.”