I can’t bear to see his primal expression. Or how his wrists bleed from his frenzied movements. Quill remains part beast even after he softens in my hand. The orgasm brings him no relief, and I know I can’t unchain him yet. He’s out of control. If I freed him, Quill would likely kill me.
Never could I redeem my soul after letting Athena die. I hated knowing I got to live when she didn’t. My pleasure was always a cruel joke and worthy of punishment. Much like Quill punishes himself now. He doesn’t do it out of guilt but from innocence that he shouldn’t possess. I can never fix what I did to Athena, but I’ll find a way to save Quill from the madness I see in his eyes.
My mouth welcomes his cock. I hear him growl in anger at how his body betrays him. He wants the desire to disappear. He needed relief, but once won’t be enough after a lifetime without.
His shaft swells, hardening as the head presses against the back of my throat. I steadily suck at him, wanting him to find a release. Quill yells my name, and I look up. He’s enraged at his body’s reaction. Or he doesn’t like how I use my mouth on him. I don’t know what he wants. The never chatty man is barely verbal now.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whisper, stripping out of my clothes.
I straddle him and guide his hard flesh between my legs. Quill instantly yanks at the chains, wanting free. I don’t know if his hands would caress my body or tear me apart. What I do know is his furious expression turns angelic once the head of his cock enters me. The more of him I take, the more relaxed his face becomes. His body only wants carnal pleasure, yet the terrified man inside Quill needs reassurance. He finds it when I whisper to him while our hips move together.
“You’re the only one,” I tell him. “The strongest man I’ve ever met. You’re so powerful and handsome. You always protect me.”
Quill watches me. His face is tranquil, though his eyes remain wary. I don’t blame him for fearing me. No doubt he hears lies from the voices, just as I do. They probably warn that I’ll destroy him by making him weak.
“They’re jealous of you,” I whisper in his ear while my pussy sucks hungrily at his flesh. “The voices want to be strong, but they’re weak. They want to be you, but they failed. Don’t listen to them.”
Quill hears the reason in my words, but I still see fear in his gaze. He doesn’t want to be locked up. He hates the lack of control. Pleasure and violence mix inside him, and he doesn’t know what he truly desires. Killing me might feel as amazing as fucking me does.
“Claim me,” I say, staring into his dark eyes. “Make me forget everyone before you. Demand I only see you. You’re a man, and you need to make me belong to only you.”
Quill responds immediately. His hips drive harder into me, and the head of his cock beats steadily against my cervix. If he could fuck me harder or deeper, he would, but my body can’t take more of his flesh.
A voice in my head says I don’t deserve this pleasure with Quill. I’ve committed a sin too dark to enjoy even a moment of happiness. They tell me to deny Quill and pay my debt. As long as I’m happy, I’ve done wrong by Athena.
“No,” I tell the voice. “I’ve paid for my sin, and I won’t give him up.”
Quill doesn’t react to my words. His head rests against the wall. His eyes are closed. His hips pump mercilessly. He’s close to an orgasm. I see the way his gut muscles tense and feel his cock thicken.
“Claim me, Quill. I want to be blind to every man before you. Make me worship you. Make me yours.”
When he lets loose, the room shakes with the power of his rage and passion. He howls my name, both exalting and cursing me with one word. I can’t handle the pressure of his desire and cry out his name in relief.
Wrapping my arms around him, I hold onto his thrashing body. He’s in a state of violent awakening. Much like how his seed fills me with his ferocious arousal, a warm and welcoming freedom washes over my heart.
To make myself worthy of caring for Quill, I must forgive myself for wronging Athena. All of these years, I’ve denied the urge to soothe my guilt. Never wanting freedom from the pain until suffering was all I understood.
Now, for Quill, I let go of the shame and grief to make room in my heart for him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Odessa
Quill sleeps for what might be the first time since he arrived in the Lost Highway. I peek into the back room to find him collapsed on the bed where I left him. He doesn’t stir when I open the door.
I wish I could join him. My fingers ache to touch his hot skin. My lips want to brush against his temple the way I did the night before when I told him everything would be all right.
Rather than disturb him, I walk down to the basement to find cleaning supplies. The voices greet me with promises of death and misery. I ignore them and return upstairs. Outside the cabin, a thick fog blocks my view of the woods.