“That’s what Griffin told me. At least, you’ve both got your stories straight.”
“Doubting Thomas? Want proof?” He carefully slid the sheet down and flipped open his shirt. His finger tapped a long scar on his abdomen. “This one was made by a tribal leader in the Congo. A bayonet. Took him two days to get it that wide.” He touched a small purple circle beside his rib cage. “Russia. A sniper shot went through the rib cage and out the back. It took a quarter inch of that lower rib with it.” He touched a pale pink scar near his shoulder. “Detroit. Goodfella with the mob decided that he’d try to drill a hole through me to impress his boss.” He met her eyes. “I’d prefer not to turn over and show you the rest. It might hurt a bit. Most of the attacks are from behind when I’ve not been aware of the threat. Unless you insist?”
“No,” she whispered. She couldn’t take her eyes off his body. So much power and strength yet so vulnerable to death and attack. It was no wonder that he’d built a stockade of a house to protect himself and allow him to relax for brief moments. She slowly reached out to touch a small circular scar on his chest. “This one is very old…”
“Yes.” He took her hand away and put it on the bed. “Cigarette burn. Not a good example. We won’t talk about it.”
Because he didn’t want to talk about that burn. He had revealed more about himself in these few minutes than she had learned in all the months they had worked together, but it seemed that cigarette burn was off limits. “Whatever you say.” She reached out and carefully pulled his shirt back over his chest. “What’s one more scar?” She stared him in the eye. “Isn’t that what you want me to say? That knife wound Zachary gave you will be just one more scar.” She took a step closer to the bed. “Wrong. That’s my scar, Lynch. It will always belong to me. And I’ll always know it.” Her hands clenched. “Just as I know that Zachary gave me scars I’m going to have to fight like hell to erase. I might never do it.”
“You’ll do it. You just may need a little friendly therapy,” he said. “Which brings us to the second problem. Griffin said that you disposed of Zachary with an enthusiasm that was well deserved but in retrospect upset you.”
“I was savage,” she said flatly. “I stabbed him five times, Lynch. Again and again. I only knew I had to kill him. You were lying there bleeding, maybe dying. Huston … all those others he killed…” She was starting to shake. “I don’t do that. That’s not who I am. Or maybe that’s who I am now. If it is, I don’t know how I can live with myself.”
“Give me your hand. I want to hold you and that’s the best I can do right now.”
“Comfort? I have to get through this by myself. Five times, Lynch.”
“Give me your hand!” he said roughly.
She slipped her hand into his grasp.
Strength. Warmth. Comfort.
“That’s better, I didn’t want to have to jump out of this bed. That would seriously impact my plans of getting out of here in a timely manner.” He drew a deep breath. “I’m not the person you should be talking to about this. I know all the words to say but you know damn well I’d probably say anything to get you into bed. Besides the fact that I can only tell you everything from my slightly skewed viewpoint.” He stared her directly in the eye. “But I’ll always be honest with you. So here it is, Kendra. I don’t know if what you did to Zachary changed you. It might have, just as every new experience and emotional trauma can change you. We’re all capable of reacting in ways we don’t expect when we’re brought to the breaking point. You’re gentle, you’re empathetic, and you’re capable of deeper emotional involvement than anyone I’ve met. That means you’d react accordingly, but it doesn’t tarnish what you are. So don’t give me any bullshit about what one monster would be able to do to you. Zachary didn’t do any permanent damage and neither will anyone else. You’re too damn strong.” His grasp tightened. “Understand?”
“I guess I do.” She could feel his power. She could feel the sheer intensity. She couldn’t take her gaze from his face. “You’ve been pretty verbose on the subject for someone who shouldn’t be talking to me about it.”
“You know I’ve never been able to keep from putting my two cents into the pot. But I assure you, it’s pure preparation for the main event.”
She frowned. “The main event?”
He made a dismissing gesture. “You’re smart enough to recognize the main event when you see it.” He smiled. “Though you were a little slow identifying what a total prize I am. Now you’re getting closer, but I expect to have trouble because of my extraordinary act of heroism.”
“Not because of your extraordinary modesty?” she asked dryly. “I thought that wound was nothing in your scheme of things. Remember, I got the whole show.”
“Not the whole show, but I was very effective, wasn’t I?” His thumb was tracing patterns on her wrist. “But you’re very stubborn and you’ll still have that thread of ingrained gratitude until it lessens a bit. That’s going to get in the way. Not for you, for me. I’m too egotistical to have to wonder if you’re going to bed with me because I took that knife for you.” His nail was following the life line on her palm. “I wouldn’t want to worry that I wasn’t as superb as I really am. And what if you talked yourself into that nonsense, too?”
No chance of that, she thought. Just those fingers on her hand and wrist were causing her pulse to race. And the bastard probably knew it. “What a terrible predicament for you.”
“And it gets worse. You didn’t like seeing me hurt, it scared you. You’re going to shy away from feeling that again. You might panic and run.”
“You don’t believe you might be flattering yourself?”
“No. I can’t afford to do that.” He was no longer smiling. “I was almost there. I’m not going to make a mistake and cheat us both. I don’t mind taking a step back but only one step.”
“You appear to be leaving me out of this decision.”
“No way. The decision is all about you … wanting me.”
“You’re making it sound entirely too difficult. I’m surprised you don’t want to forget about me and go back to Ashley or one of your other girlfriends.”
“The situation isn’t that desperate. We can work it out. Shall I tell you how?”
“I can hardly wait.”
“I might be stuck in this hospital for a few days. You’ll come to visit me every day and enjoy my stunning charisma and vast intelligence. And also reassure yourself that I’m so tough that you don’t need to worry about anything happening to me. Then when I’m out of here, I’ll go slow and I might even let you set the pace.”
“Might?”
“I don’t want you to believe I’d lie to you.”
She shook her head. “How arrogant can you be? You’re sure you have me figured out. You even have a damn solution.”