If she could get herself to a bigger city, maybe a place like Chicago, there would be a lot more opportunities. Then she could get herself a decent job, maybe as a waitress or even some type of office worker. She could almost picture herself, dressed in a nice skirt and sweater, taking notes, filing pieces of paper, maybe even sitting in a meeting. If she made enough money, she could even afford a little apartment.
It would be a struggle, of course, just the two of them. And she’d have to find some kind of babysitter for the days on which she worked. But it was a germ of an idea that had taken hold deep inside her heart. An idea that suddenly felt very right.
“Knock, knock,” came Ronnie’s voice. He was standing outside her door holding a tray. “I brought you some food.” He came in and set the tray on the nightstand. “You hungry?”
Shake looked at the fried egg and toast and her stomach lurched. She shook her head. “Not really.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Tired.” She rubbed her belly. “Really sore.” She looked out the window and saw that it was dark. “What time is it?”
“Mmn . . . about seven o’clock.”
“What do you think?” Shake asked him. She needed to feel him out, needed to give him a chance.
Ronnie cocked his head. “About what?” He was looking thoughtful, more so than Shake had ever seen him look before.
Shake lifted a hand to indicate their baby. “Our baby girl.”
Ronnie sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. “She’s really something.” His voice sounded like it was tinged with real emotion.
“You really think so?” Shake thought she was the most precious thing in the entire world.
“She kind of changes things, doesn’t she?”
Shake’s heart rose about half an inch. “That’s what I’ve been thinking, too.”
Ronnie picked up Shake’s hand and slowly rubbed his thumb across the back of it. He’d never done that before. Never displayed that kind of tenderness toward her. Up until tonight, he either tended to joke with her, ignore her completely, or treat her as a sex toy.
“You know the other day? When you were trying to get away?” he asked.
Shake nodded.
“Maybe you had the right idea.”
Shake held her breath. “Really?”
Ronnie nodded. “I’ve been thinking . . . maybe we do deserve a better life. All of us.”
“All three of us?” Shake asked. She wanted to make sure they were talking about the same thing.
“Yeah,” he said. “Mom’s not . . . she’s not that good for us.”
Shake gave a little shiver of disgust. “She hates me.”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Ronnie said. “She doesn’t much think about you.” He made a face, as if he knew he was being disloyal, but couldn’t help it. “She only thinks about what’s good for her. What makes her happy.”
“You wouldn’t miss her?” Shake asked. This was a big step, a huge step for Ronnie. She wanted to be sure.
“Naw.” Then he reconsidered. “Well, maybe. At first anyway. But once we figured stuff out on our own, I think we’d be okay.”
“I know we’d be okay,” Shake said. Her voice dropped to practically a whisper and she asked, “When?”
“When you feel better,” Ronnie said. “Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day.”
“I feel good now,” Shake said, snuggling closer to him.
“You have to rest,” Ronnie told her. “Eat a little something, then sleep some more. You need to get your strength back.”
But Shake didn’t want Ronnie to go. “I was scared you didn’t want us,” she said. “That you didn’t want to be a dad.” She was having trouble wrapping her head around this new improved Ronnie, this seemingly more responsible Ronnie.
“We’re a family,” Ronnie said. “We’ll do whatever we have to do.” He stood up and smiled at her. “We’ll run away. Live by our wits like Bonnie and Clyde.”
“I like that.” Shake had watched the movie on TV a few weeks ago and the notion that she could be a modern-day Bonnie Parker appealed to her.
“The three of us,” Ronnie murmured, looking almost dreamy now.
“What about that other baby?” Shake asked. “What’s going to happen to her?”
Ronnie’s smile slipped a notch. “I think . . . Mom has plans for her.”
*
MARJORIE was standing at the bottom of the steps, waiting for Ronnie.
“What the hell were you doing up there all this time?” she asked. She was wearing her pseudo-nun’s outfit, but she was chugging a Budweiser straight from the can.
Ronnie shrugged. “I took her the food.”
“Yeah? What else?”
“We were just talking.”
“Just talking,” Marjorie mimicked. “Talking about what?” She was afraid the baby might have given Shake a slight hold over Ronnie. Couldn’t let that happen.
“Nothing important.” Ronnie started to turn away. He’d felt good talking to Shake about the baby. He’d felt more grown up, more like a man than he ever had before. Just talking about a new life together helped pull him out of his dark, scary places.
Marjorie leered at him. “You better get your head in the game, kid. There’s gonna be some big changes around here.”